No Must Buy

We decided to see another side of Bangkok, and as much as we loved the river, plotted a course inland. Phyl had been reading a guidebook and selected a walking tour. We exited the sky train at Sala Daeng and walked to the Rama VI monument in front of Lumphini Park. After a careful inspection of the monument and the city scape in the area, we walked into Lumphini Park and around the lagoon. It was midday and the park had few visitors.


P- What is that swimming in the lagoon?

G- The head makes it look like an alligator.

P- I know it's not an alligator, but it's freakin huge.

It was too far away for us to determine what it was so we walked on. As we crossed a bridge, we spotted an even bigger one.

P- There's another one!! What the hell are they?

G- I don't know. Could it be a komodo dragon? Or in that same family?

P- I guess it could be but I can't imagine that they'd be allowed loose in this park. I thought those things were very aggressive.

G- Wait, it looks like a huge version of the monitor lizards we saw in Bali. Maybe they're monitor lizards?

P- I don't know, but they scare me and if that one comes out of the water, I'm scaling that tree like a monkey.

G- Here monitor lizard. Here lizard, lizard. Gladys, I'm dying to see your ass go up that tree.

P- Well I assure you Agnes, that thing comes anywhere near me and you will get to see it!

We stood on the bridge and watched several of them swimming back and forth. Then a third one appeared and they became aggressive with each other. Once one of them started climbing onto land, we had seen enough and continued down the trail. We stopped in the bathroom to have a squat and cracked up while reading the sign on the mirror above the sink: Do not wash your feet.

P- How many people wash their feet in the sink of a public bathroom?

G- There was a time in my life when I would have thought that insane, but since my entire shoe closet now consists of 1 pair of Keens and my feet are always dusty and dirty, I totally see why one would want to wash their feet.

P- There is never any soap to even wash your hands. And how would you dry them. You'd just walk back outside and more dirt would stick to them.

We were extremely hungry as we exited the park and walked along Sarasin Road in search of one of only 2 original canals in Bangkok. Fortunately, we passed several food carts, so we purchased 2 fried chicken legs and ate them as we walked. They were quite tasty and we wished that we had gotten more. Thinking we had found the proper way, we climbed up 2 flights of steps to cross the street, and continued on a raised platform. The platform was flanked by very old dwellings made of wood with tin roofs. We sensed that we were in the correct place, but couldn't find the canal. We came to a staircase and decided to exit the elevated path. There we found the canal and a very old, rundown part of Bangkok. Even though the canal stunk like stagnant water, shops lined its concrete banks and in many locations people were eating lunch. They stared at us like we were from Mars, probably trying to figure out how we had become so lost that we ended up in their neighborhood where they never see tourists. We smiled and they smiled back. One woman invited us to sit and have a drink with them. No, thank you. After a heated debate, we returned to the raised platform and continued walking.

We walked about 3 blocks more, and seeing no one, our New Orleans sensibilities kicked in and we began to feel afraid. Finally 2 westerners on bikes approached and we asked them for directions. Yes, we had taken a wrong turn and had to go back to the street where we first climbed up to the elevated walkway, then turn right. It was hot as hell, and we were sweating our asses off, so this was not welcomed news. Plus, the chicken legs had only held our hunger at bay for a short time, and we were starving again.

We began walking down a long boulevard, Witthayu Road, lamenting the fact that we were tired of walking, when a tuk-tuk driver pulled along side us and offered to give us a ride for 20 Baht.

Driver- Where you go?

P- Just to the end of this street.

Driver - I take you. Only 20 Baht. Good for you.

G- (raised eyebrow and skeptical look) Why so good?

Driver- I do good for you, you do for me.

P- What do we have to do?

Driver- You go to shop. Very close. Help me. I drive you.

P- Oh, no. We're not interested in anything like that.

Driver – You no must buy. You good for me. I good for you.

G- (under my breath to Phyl) We are tired of walking and we have about 8-10 blocks to go. Plus, I'm interested in seeing how this scam works. I read about it in the guide book.

Driver- (sensing a crack) Yes? You do?

P- Ok, but we're not buying anything.

Driver – No must buy.

We got into the tuk-tuk and headed up the street. The breeze was nice and I was happy for the seat. Phyl continued to bitch about 'the deal', but I was interested to see how it worked and we were in no particular hurry. He drove about 6 blocks, then went around the corner and drove another 4 blocks before stopping next to a building. The driver waved to a man sitting on the stairs.

G- In there? I must go in there to help you?

Driver- Yes. Two go.

P- I'm not moving from this tuk-tuk. I'm making sure we don't get left here.

Driver – Yes. You go.

G- I'm going.

I went into the store and it was a very upscale tailor. Someone greeted me at the door and advised that I could have a suit, blouse, belt, or shoes made. I complimented the shop and advised him that I was not at all interested in having clothes made because I don't even have a job. I thanked him and left. The whole matter took about 2 minutes. My quick return to the tuk-tuk seemed to surprise the driver.

G- (to Phyl) Ok, your turn to go in. It's a tailor.

P- I don't want any clothes made and I'm not going in..

G- Just uphold your end of the bargain and go in.

P- No! The end! Not going in!

Driver – You no want.

P- No. We told you when we made the deal that we didn't want anything.

Driver- (looking frustrated) You want souvenir? I take different store.

P- Absolutely not! We want you to take us down the street to the hotel.

Driver – Ok.

G- Well, that was interesting. I still can't figure it out. Does he ever make this deal with someone who actually had a suit made once they get here?

P- It's crazy to me. One minute we're walking, sightseeing, and sweating, and the next we want to be fitted for a suit? Who does that?

G- I know. It's not as though he brought us somewhere to buy t-shirts or trinkets that may, for some, be impulse purchases. He brings us to a tailor.

P- I guess some dumbass must have something made otherwise they wouldn't do it.

G- I guess. Ok, I've seen the deal and it seems crazy to me.

P- And this dude is probably thinking.......how'd I end up with these 2 bitches when most women love to shop.

G- We told him we would never buy anything when we made the deal. He shouldn've listened.

He wasn't happy with us, but as agreed, he dropped us off in front of the Swiss Hotel. We walked through the large lobby, out into the lush gardens surrounding the pool, and exited the back of the pool area following a path to the Nai Lert Park Shrine. It was a weird penis park, dedicated to Chao Tuptim, a female spirit believed to live in the old banyan tree growing in the corner. People go to the park to pray for fertility and prosperity and have shown their gratitude by leaving colorful phallus donations to the spirit.

G- Well, while this is odd and slightly interesting, I don't think it warrants a spot on the walking tour.

P- You're right.

G- Remind me why we came to a penis park because it seems like a strange thing to interest us.

P- It's on the tour. The way the guidebook described it, I thought the park would be nicer. Look over there!

G- What is it? Another penis?

P- No, that's the canal we were looking for when we got lost.

G- That canal is boring. I'm sure glad we got lost and got to see the other nasty canal and the neighborhood surrounding it.

P- Me too. Now I'm really starving, let's get out of here.

We asked the guard for directions, then walked 3 blocks up to the Phloen Chit metro station where, of course, we had to climb 4 flights of steps to get to the upper platform. By this time Phyl was bitching up a storm as hot, sweaty, and hungry, with throbbing feet & knees, are not quite her favorite things. The station name was appropriate because she felt like Phloen Chit! We had to change metro lines at Siam Station, adjacent to the Siam Paragon, a huge mall with a theater & aquarium. It was packed with people!!! We stopped at a pizza place overlooking the main courtyard and enjoyed people watching as we consumed a whole pizza and a pitcher of root beer.

Then we went to a store in the mall that carried almost every kind of western treats one can imagine. We purchased M&Ms, Hershey bars, granola (not as good as Nature's Indulgence), Cambanzola cheese (a major coup!!!), a few Fugi apples, some Italian salami and baguettes. We needed food for tomorrow's bus ride to Cambodia. It was rush hour when we left Siam Paragon and we got the feel of being a commuting Bangkokian as we were crushed into the metro train with the locals heading home from work.

Back at the hotel we finalized our transportation arrangements for the next day, paying 1300 Baht each (about $41.50 USD/each), showered and packed.

You Sit!

This morning was no different from our usual routine, sleep in, then lounge in bed while drinking coffee. I took another shower because I love showering and I appreciate this particular shower. Then we set off on the skytrain to the river. Like pros, we jumped right on the river taxi, purchased our 14 Baht tickets from the attendant, and road the taxi to the last stop on the river. We are water people and anytime we can be sitting by the water, swimming in the water, hearing the sounds of water (waterfall, waves crashing onto shore, babbling brook, fountain, whatever) or riding in a boat on the water, we are happy. As we cruised the river, the sun warmed our faces, the breeze blew our hair, we watched temples slide by, and passengers embark and disembark at the various stops. We could've done it all day, but we had things to see, and we were hungry.

We ate a lunch of baked potatoes and seared tuna salad at a restaurant on the Phra Arthit Pier. Then we walked out to the street and started heading in the direction of the Vimanmek Mansion Museum. We quickly deduced that we had no idea where we were going, so we hailed a tuk-tuk. It was a good thing that we got a tuk-tuk because he set off in the opposite direction than the one in which we were walking. Also, the map seemed to indicate that the Vimanmek Mansion was only blocks away, when in reality, it was miles away.

Our tickets to the Royal Palace also gained us entry to the Vimanmek Mansion, so it was fortunate that they were still in my pocket, and that I wear the same pants for several days in a row. The Mansion is made entirely of teak wood, was built 150 years ago, and was the home of Rama V (the first king to travel to Europe). Today it is a museum and used for official state affairs, especially hosting foreign dignitaries.

No cameras, cell phones or bags are allowed into the Mansion, so we had to pay for a locker and put all of our belongings into it. Tours are given every half hour, so we sat in the holding area, waiting for the English tour, and watching other groups go in. There were many Chinese tour buses and we watched a group as they passed through inspection and the metal detector.

G- I hope that group is well along their way before our tour starts. They are so damn loud!

P- I'm watching how the girls are frisking them after they pass through the metal detectors.

G- It is quite bizarre. Very invasive. Kind've like a Thai massage.

P- That girl just squeeze that man's package!!!!!

G- I think it's his pocket.

P- Unless he has a pocket over his package, it was his package.

G- Busted! She just ferreted out a cell phone. (He was rebuked and sent back to the lockers.)

As the men were being felt up, a commotion started with the women and we watched trying to figure out what was going on. Apparently the necklaces of flowers, worn by many of the women, were not allowed into the mansion. All of the women, except for one, complied with the instructions and placed their flowers on the chair next to the metal detector.

P- WTH?!

G- Oh, she is pissed and doesn't want to give up her flowers.

Suddenly she grabbed the strand in each hand and pulled, yanking them violently from her neck, breaking the strand and sending flower flying in every direction. The groping girls stopped feeling people up and stared as the male guard, once sitting quietly off to the side, jumped up and began yelling at the woman. She stood her ground and glared at him as others from her group hit the floor and began picking up the flowers.

P- That is one defiant woman.

G- She's crazy. I think that guard is going to kick her ass.

P- Good thing her group is picking up the flowers.

G- Oh, now the tour leader is involved.

The woman backed down a bit, the floor was cleaned, and the group left our area and began their tour.

When our tour began we had our thighs grabbed and I was worried that I'd have to open my sarong so that the lady could see that she was only feeling my wallet in my pants' pocket, but she seemed satisfied with the groping and we walked through the yard to the shoe area. Phyl climbed the stairs while I put our shoes in their holding pen.

Ticket taker – Where your ticket?

P- My friend has it. She is putting our shoes away.

Ticket taker – You sit!! (she pointed to a bench just inside the door.)

Phyl did as she was told and sat on the bench. When I reached the top of the stairs she called to me to show the woman our tickets. I pointed to Phyl and to the ticket. The ticket taker pointed to Phyl and said “ok”. Then she told me to sit. We were soon joined by the remainder of our English group, 4 Canadians, 2 French, a couple of Germans. We feel sorry for people who must always hear tours in English, their second language, and some of them struggle to understand some of the more complicated words, delivered in a thick Cambodian accent. We continually feel like morons because, like most Americans, we only speak 1 language.

The mansion was beautiful and we learned a lot about King Rama V's efforts to raise the standard of living in his country. He was known to dress as a commoner and go into the villages and speak to the people. He sounded very progressive. It had only taken a year to build the mansion, but it was highly carved, with grand staircases, and lead glass windows across the entire front. We enjoyed the tour very much. After the tour we walked around the gardens, then at 4:30 when everything was closing, out to the street to determine how we'd get back to the river.

P- Do you know where we are?

G- Sort of, but not really. Get the map.

Taxi driver- (standing next to us) You want taxi?

G- I don't think so.

Driver – Where you go?

P- We need to get back to the river. We want to go to Chinatown.

Driver – I make good rate.

G- Is that your taxi? The one that says on the side that you use a meter?

Driver – Meter,yes.

G- If we use a taxi, we want to use the meter.

Driver- Meter.

P- Where would we get him to take us? Just to the river or to Chinatown?

Driver – Chinatown. Ok. 200 Baht. (almost $7.00) Good price.

G- No negotiating. We want the meter.

Driver – 200 Baht. Good price.

Tired of having the taxi driver jabbering in our ears while we tried to read the map, and sensing that he was not going to take us with the meter, we began walking, in what we thought was the direction of the river. After walking 3 blocks, we could see a bridge in the distance, so we knew we were headed in the right direction. A fruit vendor was on the corner, so we purchased some pineapple. The lady carved out three long chunks from ½ of a pineapple, slid them into a clear plastic bag, and placed the bag lengthwise in her outstretched palm. She then grabbed a clever and hacked at the pineapple, through the plastic bag, cutting it into pieces. We paid her 30 Baht ($1.00) and walked away.

P- Holy crap! Can you believe the clever she used to cut the pineapple?

G- I was startled when she began hacking at it with such a huge knife. And with such precision! I think each piece is about the same size.

P- And look at this bag, it has not one cut.

G- What? Let me see. How is that possible?

P- I have no idea, but look at it.

G- How did she cut the pineapple clean through the bag but not cut the bag?

P- Maybe she's magic. I have no explanation!

We were excited to reach the river in only 8 blocks, and stood on the Krung Thon bridge observing the floating homes (I use the term loosely) along the river. Basically these were floating shacks made of wood, tin, tarps, basically anything that can be used to keep out the rain. Even in their state of disrepair, many had hanging flower pots or window boxes full of flowers. A little beauty in the blight. We spotted a water taxi stop on the other side of the bridge and walked across, hoping that a taxi would arrive, headed in the direction we required to get to Chinatown. After only a 15 minute wait, a taxi arrived and we were once again, cruising down the river, enjoying the sights and sounds that attracted us to Bangkok, as the sun set behind the numerous Wats that lined the river.

About 20 minutes later we exited at Rachawongse Pier and headed into Chinatown. Not sure where we were going, we wondered down a few streets until we came to an area where vendors lined the street. We walked around this bustling area for a while, taking in the sights and smells. We contemplated eating from street vendors, but we were unable to determine what they were cooking and the ladies spoke little or no English. Besides, we wanted to sit at a restaurant rather than stand on the street to eat dinner.

A few streets later, we came across a “restaurant”. Really, it was a room, behind the street cart, containing 4 tables and little, red, plastic stools. There was a western couple in there waiting for their food. We debated eating there, but we really wanted fried rice and only saw noodles.

G- Rice?

Lady – No rice. Noodles.

P- (to Gina) I really wanted rice.

Lady- Noodles!

G- Ok, thank you.

We walked a few more blocks, and finding no other “restaurant” type place, went back to the noodle lady.

P- (asking the western couple) How did you order?

Couple – We just pointed at the things we wanted in our noodles.

Phyl sat at the table and I went to the cart to order. I tried to point at the items I recognized to indicate that we wanted them in our noodles, but my gyrations were met with a blank stare, and I didn't really recognize many of the items in the bowls, so I gave up and said 2 noodles, holding up 2 fingers. She smiled a little and said “2 noodle, ok”. I returned to the table.

P- What did you get?

G- Noodles. (laughing)

P- I know, Agnes. What did you get in our noodles?

G- We will get what she gives us. I couldn't get her to understand that I wanted to select the items that she was going to put into the noodles, and I couldn't even figure out what most of our choices were. So, she will make it and we will eat it.

P- How much does it cost?

G- I have no idea, but nothing on that menu (all written in Thai or Chinese, we couldn't tell) is over 40 Baht (about $1.10) so it can't cost much.

Another lady came by and asked us something that we assumed to be, what do you want to drink, so we pointed to the cooler and said Coke. 2 bottles of coke were delivered to our table. Our bowls of noodles arrived soon after and we inspected them in an attempt to determine the contents.

G- This is a mushroom.

P- What is the green stuff?

G- Maybe some kind of kale or chard or something like that?

P- What about these white chunks?

G- Is it chicken? (I tasted a piece)

P- No, not chicken.

G- I think it's tofu. And I have some carrot slivers.

P- Whatever. It tastes good.

G- Yep. It's yummy. I guess we're going to eat with the silverware.

P- Do we have our sporks in the backpack?

G- No. I didn't put them in. You know I like to cut my noodles. I guess that won't happen today.

P- Cat would be proud of you, twirling your noodles like a true Italian.

G- Except that these are Chinese noodles and we're in Chinatown in Bangkok.

P- A minor detail; they're still long and stringy like spaghetti.

We enjoyed our noodles and the coke was cold. When we were finished I asked, “How much?”. The lady held up 7 fingers. It was 70 Baht. (maybe $1.08 USD). We walked back up the street and happened upon a grocery where we bought toothpaste, shampoo, cookies, and yogurt. We walked back to the river and waited for the taxi. While we waited we talked to a woman, Daphna, who is living in Israel taking care of her elderly parents. She traveled as a pharmaceutical rep and had lived in San Francisco for 20 years. We talked about how much we loved San Francisco. She exited the taxi at the same pier as us and headed to her hotel while we caught the skytrain to our stop, and walked back to our hotel. We sat in the lobby, drinking a pitcher of Chang beer and reflecting upon the day.

Curses! Foiled Again.

We slept late and lounged in the king size bed under the fluffy, white, European comforter. The comforter may be our favorite thing about traveling in Europe. We took advantage of the hot water kettle in our room and drank several cups of coffee. I took another shower and moaned inside it's glass enclosed walls with the rain shower head, thrilled to leave the toilet paper inside the room with me.

We then headed out to see Bangkok. On the way through the lobby we decided we should just eat lunch and enjoyed fried rice, green beans & chicken. Then we walked to the skytrain and were delighted to learn that we only had to go one stop to get to the Central Pier, on the Kao Praya River. The skytrain stop was literally 50 yards from the river taxi stop. Hundreds of tourists milled about trying to decide on the appropriate ticket. A 1 day, unlimited, hop on and off pass was 150 Baht ($5.00). We were going directly to the Royal Palace, so we decided we didn't need such a pass and purchased a one way ticket for 50 Baht/each. After the taxi pulled away from the dock, I watched an attendant circulating and checking tickets and selling tickets.

G- I'll be damned!

P- What?

G- That person just bought a ticket from the attendant for 14 Baht! We were screwed.

P- But it won't happen again, will it, my baby?

G- No it won't!

From that point on, we just jumped on the taxi and paid the attendant the 28 Bahts for the 2 of us to ride. As we road up the Kao Praya River, we fell in love with Bangkok.

P- This is fantastic! I love this so much.

G- Me too. Doesn't it remind you of Venice?

P- Yes.

G- I mean, obviously it doesn't have the charm of Venice or the beautiful Moorish buildings, but the feel of taking a water taxi and watching the city unfold before you makes me think of Venice.

P- I agree. That's exactly what I was thinking. I read in the book that Bangkok was called the Venice of the East. Now I see why.

We exited at the Tha Chang pier and walked through an alley, to the street. Not knowing which way to go, we spotted a European couple and followed them past stalls of street vendors selling anything you can imagine, and some things you can't imagine, such as dentures. After 2 blocks, we arrived at the Grand Palace. Half way to the main gate we were stopped by a very official looking man wearing a dress shirt with patches on each shoulder containing the Grand Palace logo. He carried a clip board and a laminated paper showing the dress code. He advised us that we were not properly dressed for the Grand Palace, but had time to obtain the proper clothes because the Palace was closed, for a ceremony, and would reopen in 2 hours. He asked if we had a map and suggested other nearby Wats that we could visit until the Palace reopened. We discussed the other Wats. If we were interested, he could call us a tuk-tuk. Suddenly, something clicked in my mind...........

G- Wait a minute, this is that scam I read about in the guide book.

P- What scam?

Scammer – No. It true. Palace closed now.

G- No it's not. (I grabbed Phyl's arm and we began to walk away toward the entrance.

P- What the hell was that all about?

G- I read that they try to scam you by telling you the temple is closed and putting you in a friend's tuk-tuk to take you to another Wat or some place that sells shit we don't want.

P- Damn! He was very convincing and looked like an employee of the Palace.

G- No kidding. I was falling for it and I read about the scam.

At the entrance gate we stopped and Phyl was getting our sarongs out of the backpack when another man approached us. He was not as official looking, but he pulled out his laminated card and told us we were not properly dressed and would not be allowed in the temple.

G- We know. We have sarongs.

Scammer – The temple closed now.

P- We know the temple is not closed. Go away.

He began to protest, but Phyl gave him 'the look'. He stopped talking to us and turned his attentions to a young, western couple. I heard him give them the spiel and they began to follow him.

G- Hey! (they turned and looked) Don't listen to him. He's telling you bullshit. The temple is not closed and if you don't have a sarong, I think I read that they'll loan you one or you can rent one.

Scammer – No. It true. (He looked at me like bitch, mind your own business.)

P- It's a scam in the guide book.

Couple – Ok, thank you. They turned and walked into the gates of the temple.

G- We gotta work together to protect each other.




We purchased our Royal Palace tickets, stopped for a squat, and went to the entrance gate. My sarong was tied exactly like Phyl's, but the ticket taking lady found fault with it nonetheless, and would not let me in. She pointed at my sarong, then pointed at the dress code sign. Phyl and I discussed the problem. Apparently my sarong was tied in such a way that when I walked, my thigh could be seen. Well, not my thigh because my shorts hung to my knees, but my sarong was apparently coming open.

I tried to tie it again, but it did not pass inspection. Phyl tried tying it, still not acceptable. I untied it again and offered the corners to the ticket lady for her to tie it in a way she found acceptable. Instead............... she pulled the sides in opposite directions and shoved them, and her hands, into my pants.

G- Uh! Did she just stick her hands in my pants?

P- (laughing) I believe that she did.

G- That is not at all what I was expecting.

P- Me either, but it didn't seem to bother her a bit.

G- At night she moonlights at the womans' prison.

P- Did you enjoy it?

G- No. She wasn't very friendly. Only smiling people should put their hands in my pants.

P- Oh well, let's get moving. We only have 4 ½ hours for the temple area and the palace.

As one would expect, the temple complex at the Royal Palace was magnificent! The upper terrace consisted of 4 monuments: a large gold chedi/stupa, the Mondap (holds sacred Buddhist scriptures), miniature model of Angkor Wat, & the Royal Pantheon (holds statues of past Chakri dynasty rulers). The Wat, inside The Royal Monastery of the Emerald Buddha, was large, with beautiful murals on the walls, and a solid green jade Buddha high on the alter. The Buddha is carved from one block of jade and was found in 1434 (it is not known when it was carved) in Chiang Rai. A wall surrounds the Royal Monastery and the inside is lined by galleries painted with scenes from The Ramakien, dating to King Rama I, in the late 1700's. We then walked through the gates and into the very large courtyard of the Royal Palace, built by King Rama V, in 1903, in a western style. Rama V was the first to travel to Europe.

It was a very hot day so before we walked further, we sat and ate an ice cream and talked to a Thai man who's good friend lives in LA. He had visited California several times. He also collected post cards, mailed from around the world, and asked that we send him one from New Orleans. We have his address and will do so upon our return.

After our feet stopped throbbing, we headed out the Palace gates and along the river toward Wat Pho. Our path lead us through an area, spanning several blocks, where Buddhist amulets were sold. Some were in a pile on a blanket on the ground and others were in plastic cases on tables. As we neared the temple, we purchased chicken skewers (meat & livers) from a cart/grill. (4 skewers for under $1.00) While we stood eating our skewers and watching the goings on, a man approached us and asked the familiar questions: where you from? What your names? Where you go?

P- We're from America. We're going to Wat Pho.

Scammer – Wat Pho closed.

G- No, it's not.

Scammer – Yes.

G- No. (said with a smile)

Scammer – Closed.

P- It's not closed. (we started walking away)

Scammer – You don't believe me?

G- No, we don't believe you. The guide books warn us about you.

Scammer – It true! It closed!

P- (to me) Piss off asswhipe! We know it is not closed.

Scammer - It closed!  It closed!

We arrived at Wat Pho, which did not close for 2.5 hours, paid our entrance fee and went in to see Phra Buddhasaiyas, Thailand's largest reclining Buddha, built during the reign of King Rama III. It is painted gold, and the bottom of the feet contain mother of pearl symbols of nature from Indian & Chinese influences. It is quite an amazing sight.

Inside another wall are 4 huge pagodas that look like colorful wedding cakes, their exteriors decorated with millions of colorful, cut tiles. We walked around the compound admiring the hundreds of Buddha statues lining the walls, then followed the soothing sound of monks chanting to the Phra Buddha Deva Patimakorn (main chapel). We sat inside the temple, for at least 20 minutes, enjoying the spirituality of the chanting, as a golden Buddha observed from his seat on the high alter at the back wall.

Leaving Wat Pho, we walked back to the river, past a highly manicured park, and waited for the water taxi at Tha Tien Pier. We spoke to a young man from Bangladesh who was in Bangkok working for a German shirt making company. We had never heard of it, but the shirts are upwards of $200 and are ordered on line, sewn in Bangkok and shipped to Germany. I asked about this industry in Bangladesh because I know that the country exports a lot of textiles. He advised that Bangkok is the perfect place because not only can the clothes be made cheaply, but shipping can be accomplished quickly, something that is very slow from Bangladesh.

Tired and not interested in searching for a place to eat, we returned to our hotel, enjoyed a pitcher of Chang beer, and ate a dinner of fried egg rolls and green pork curry. We felt like queens luxuriating in our hot, glass shower and snuggled under the wonderful comforter, watching the 1 English channel, until we fell asleep.

Roach Coach

We got up early, packed, said our good-byes to Ron & Min and caught a red taxi (don't think car, think seats in the back of a pick up truck with a roof) to the train station. It was only about a 10 minute ride and it was a cool morning. We lamented the fact that we were headed south and to the heat. As much as we enjoyed Chiang Mai, we were ready to move on.


The train consisted of 3 cars, all air conditioned. We left on time at 9:00AM. We were pleased with our accommodations on the “Supinta” train for the 8 hour ride to Bangkok. Having read that often conveyances are cold as meat lockers, we had taken our jackets out of our bags. It wasn't long before we put them on and pulled out a small blanket to cover our legs. I had even put a pair of socks in my day pack, which I also put on. Yes, I looked like a dork, but the Germans behind us eyed my socks with envy and motioned that their feet were freezing.

As the miles between us and Chiang Mai gradually increased, we drove through green fields surrounded by mountains. The scenery was very beautiful and we were glad to have taken the day train. Unfortunately, we stopped every little while and we began to wonder why this was called the “Supinta” train as it seemed we were going to get nowhere fast.

G- Look, we're being served a beverage.

P – What are our choices?

G- Looks like hot tea or coffee. You think we should drink from those cups?

P- That's what I was thinking. I'm not sure how safe they are, but I guess we'll find out.

G- Phyl ordered coffee and I got hot tea.

We talked, looked out of the windows, read, and typed blogs. Even though we stopped frequently, the time passed quickly. We had been told that there would be no food on the train so we had brought

one container of fried rice & one of curry chicken, purchased from the lunchtime vendor, with us. We also had some crackers and cheese for later. At lunchtime, the attendant returned and passed out dishes of white rice with 2 slices of an unknown meat draped over the top. We declined the offer and ate the dishes we had brought.

G- It tastes good even though it's not warm.

P- Not warm! It's cold! I hate eating cold food.

G- You can have something hot, get a dish of the white rice and we can play 'guess which meat I'm eating'.

P- No thanks, but I wish she would heat our food for us.

G- Good luck trying to figure out how to request that. Just eat it and pretend it's hot. Oh, that last bite just burned my lip. Be careful with the chicken, it's almost too hot to eat.

P- Shut up, ass! Those psychological tricks don't work for me. Cold rice is cold rice no matter how many times I tell myself it's warm.

G- I have to blow on mine before I can even eat it. Too bad yours is cold.

P- To the moon, Agnes!

The Germans got off and were replaced by a French couple. A Thai family got on with a giant bag of cracklin. A woman got on with a little baby boy strapped to her chest in one of those baby harnesses and sat across from us. He looked about 6-7 months old and cooed, giggled and smiled from ear to ear. We made goofy faces at him and he laughed, but maintained a quizzical look on his face. Even the 6 month old knows we look different.

G- I just realized that I never see Asians reading. They sit around a lot, but I've never seen anyone reading.

P- You're right. If the hotel workers in Bali weren't doing anything, they just sat and talked to one another or looked around or napped.

G- Even our bus drivers who would just sit and wait for us didn't read.

P- Now that you mention it, look around this bus. Almost all of the tourists are reading and none of the Thais are reading.

G- That was the same in Malaysia, in Chaing Mai, everywhere we've been.

The mountains receded and the land flattened, but we continued to pass mile after mile of farmland. We had no map, so we had no idea where we were, but it was about 5:00 pm, and we were scheduled to arrive in Bangkok at 6:30 pm. It was starting to get dark. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed movement on the seat across the isle.

G- Oh shit!

P- What?

G- There is a roach on the seat across the isle.

P- What kind of roach?

G- Does it matter? I hate all roaches. The brown kind that infests a house and makes a million babies. Not a giant cockroach.

P- That's great. Just make sure it doesn't come over here.

A little time passed.

G- There's another one running down the isle.

P- Kill it.

G- You know I don't like stepping on them.

P- Kill it before it runs by us.

The man across from me stepped on it as another one ran out from under another seat. Now everyone was looking around and at each other.

P – Get your backpack off the ground! I hope they aren't getting into our bags on the shelf above us.

G- Where in the hell are they all coming from. That girl has swept and mopped the floor about once every hour.

We continued to see roaches run on the floor and various people would stomp them. Everyone had picked up their bags from the floor and was on high alert. It wasn't exactly like the infestation you'd see in a movie like Snakes on a Plane, but there were enough of them that everyone was keeping their eyes peeled. I went to the bathroom and when I returned the French couple behind us was inspecting a train schedule. I smiled and we were chatting about where we had been and where we were going when the train stopped, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. We sat there for about 20 minutes until another train passed in the opposite direction. Apparently there is only one rail that each direction must share.

We hadn't been moving long when we made another stop. I saw the couple look at the train schedule so I asked if they knew where we were.

French girl – We are here. (pointing at the town on the list). I think we have 2 hours still.

G- 2 more hours?! I looked at my watch and it was already 6:15 pm. We are 2 hours late?

French guy – Yes.

P- Great! We're stuck on the roach coach and now we're 2 hours late? I was enjoying this train ride, now I'm ready to get off this thing before a roach crawls on me.

She had barely gotten the words out of her mouth when the French girl let out a little gasp and her husband smacked the back of Phyl's chair with his book. Phyl jerked her head around and asked them, through the seats, was that a roach?

French guy- Yes. A big one.

G- How big?

French girl – Not too big.

P- How big?

The guy held up his fingers and indicated about an inch.

P- Did you get it?

French guy – No.

As I turned my head I saw it come running over the top of Phyl's seat. I simultaneously shoved Phyl's head forward and grabbed a bag from the seat pocket in front of me. Phyl was trying to climb over me as I grabbed it with the bag and threw them both on the floor. The French guy stomped the bag. Now we were totally freaked out and paranoid. Our eyes roamed, constantly looking for signs of movement and we were jumpy. Things settled down after we hadn't seen one for about 10 minutes, but then Phyl squealed and jumped over so quickly she jammed my hips between her and my armrest.

I wiggled myself free, jumped up and stood in the aisle.

G- What?

P- Now the little bastards are coming out of this hole in the molding between the windows. (She grabbed a napkin from her seat pocket and smashed at them with it. They were the tiny little black babies.)

G- I'll just stand in the aisle. You move over away from the window.

The French guy also stoop up and the girl moved over to the aisle seat. This is how we remained for the next hour until we pulled into the Bangkok station at 8:30 pm; only 2 hours late. We gathered our stuff and headed toward the metro. We tried to get information from the ticket clerk, but she did not speak English. Phyl spotted 2 western looking guys and they gave us directions to the metro. We went 3 stops, then had to switch to the Skytrain. Of course we had to go up a flight of stairs, walk a block along the crowded street, then up 2 flights of stairs to the platform.

P- I'm not climbing anymore stairs!! My knees are killing me and I think they're going to buckle under this weight.

G- We'll probably have to go downstairs to get out of the station.

P- I hope there is an escalator.

Four stops later we arrived at Surasak We took an escalator down one flight, then had to take stairs to the street. Phyl's brows were furrowed, but she didn't say a word. Luckily we only had to walk 2 blocks to our hotel. It was 9:30 pm. The hotel was only a few months old, and we were very excited when we walked into our room because it was the most modern one we have had so far. It was large with a king size bed and a fluffy, white, European style comforter, flat screen TV, large mini fridge, coffee pot, 2 night stands (with bedside lamps!) and a chair. By far the most impressive thing was the bathroom with a very contemporary sink, large glass enclosed shower and a big rain shower head. We took a long hot shower.

The roach coach had been hell, but now we were in heaven!!!!!!