G - Did you look at the pictures of the various kinds of peeing devices? P- Yes, and I'm not afraid to admit that they scare me. However, falling into a squat toilet scares me more, so I'll adapt.
G- The one with the funnel and hose looks entirely to big to fit into my pants. If I'm trying to pee on a hike or in the wilderness, the point is to NOT take down my pants.
P- And, it is much too phallic!
G- And the one that is made of latex and folds looks good, but it seems too short and I don't want pee running down my leg. Plus, it seems like it would point down instead of out while you're peeing into it.
P- If I must have a penis, I don't want a short one!
G- Ok, I'm ordering the Pstyle. It looks easy to use, seems like it will be long enough and is hard plastic instead of latex, so it might last longer. One hard, hot pink penis on it's way.
A few days later a package arrived in the mail.
P- Your penis came in the mail today.
G- Good! I can't wait to practice with it.
P- Are you gonna do it now?
G-I don't even have to pee yet. Can we wait until I have to pee? I think I'll wait until this weekend. I need to try it for the first time in the shower so I don't pee on the floor. (Saturday rolls around and now I do have to pee and bathe) Ok, I'm going to take a shower and try out the pink penis.
P-Call me when you're ready, I want to watch.
G- Hmmmm, I'm not sure you can watch, I might get pee shy.
(Having read the directions, G is now standing in the shower, legs appropriate distance apart, the device in place)
P-(walks into the bathroom) How does it work?
G-I'm trying to concentrate. I'm not accustomed to peeing standing up. It's weird.
P- Maybe we should have had a few beers first.
G-Stop talking to me! Get out!
P-Why are you suddenly pee shy? From what I hear, you're supposed to be proud of your penis.
G-(Amazingly, even under these harsh circumstances, I am able to go.) Check it out! I think it works pretty well; there's no pee running down my leg. You try it when you take your shower.
Over the next few days we try it several times in the shower, then, after moving the bath mats and still sans clothes, standing in front of the toilet. After that was successful, we keep our pajama pants on. All attempts are successful and without drips. We're ready to take this show on the road!!! The NolaNomads and their portable pink penis are coming to a country near you!
