Want some cheese?

This morning dawned with sunny, blue skies!  WRONG!  We awoke to more clouds and fog.  Do you think we are bitching about this?  Well we are because we have become spoiled by the perfect, cloudless, blue skies of Pleasanton, CA.  and we think that perfect weather should follow us everywhere we go. So nah!

 We continued up the coast and stopped at several more lookout points over the sand dunes.  We passed through Lincoln City, a fairly large bustling beach town with a Tanger Outlet Mall.  No, we definitely do not want to buy anything.  Our memories are not so short and we are still in purge mentality. 

Then we headed inland to the Tillamook Cheese Factory.  We feel like we're on some kind of a kitchy road trip.  Maybe we are, but part of that is fun.  We drove past a lot of pasture land full of grazing cows.

P- Excuse us ladies, but are Oregon cows as happy as California cows?
G- Pull over so I can take a picture. Isn't it funny the the cows stop grazing and look up at you?
P- Their probably thinking "freakin paparazzi!" 
G- "Paris Hilton is in the next pasture."
P- And look at that one how she is straining to eat the grass on our side of the fence.  Don't ya think it all tastes the same?
G- Hey, the grass is always tastier on the other side of the fence.  I guess cows are no different than people.
P- You stupid!
G- Holy crap!  Look at the parking lot!!
P- Several parking lots full of cars.
G- You'd think they are giving something away here.  Oh, they are.  Cheese!!!

The Tillamook Cheese Factory was packed.  We followed the other human cattle in and got in line to sample the cheese as though we'd never tasted cheese before.  Hell, we've got cheese in the car and much more expensive, designer cheese at that, but we were hungry.  Dude, no double poking with your tooth pick.  Nasty bastard!!  At the end of the cheese tasting line is the store.  Imagine that!  We'd better stock up on Tillamook cheese and bring some home since we can't buy it in the groceries. 

And before we left, you know we had to take this photo!!!  The chick I gave the camera to, because she had the same point and shoot camera as us, had to take the picture 10 times because she kept moving her hand and it kept coming out blurry.  Girlfriend!  This is the kind of thing you do quickly!  Get behind the cow and farmer, stick your faces through quickly, snap, get down.  Hurry the hell up!!!  And, just so you know, there was a warning on the back side of the cut outs telling people not to stick their heads completely through the hole, cause you know some dumbass got his head stuck in there!

You know that Phyllis refused to take the picture unless I was the cow!!!   On to Portland, OR where we spent the night.  Shout out to Wendi for helping us find a hotel.

Redneck Dune Buggy Rally

After our delicious tuna lunch, we continued along the coast in the fog and came upon the Oregon Dunes National Recreation Area.  It was amazing to see this large expanse of sand dunes along the Northern Pacific Coast of the US and we wondered again why there are no nice sandy beaches along this part of the coastline. 

It was nearing cocktail hour and we decided to find a motel in Florence, OR.  Having had great success the past 2 days, we were disappointed to find prices to be double what we had been paying.  Also, there seemed to be a large number of people in this small town and many motels were full.  We soon learned that there was a big dune buggy competition that weekend explaining why Florence was overrun with rednecks.

In many hotels you see discarded room service trays outside the doors, but at Le Chateau, on dune buggy weekend, empty Budweiser suitcases were placed outside the doors and the "cement pond" was utilized well into the night.  We overheard this statement, "I'm not a kid.  I'm 20 years old! I haven't been in school for 5 years!"  Well now that explains a lot.

Methuselah

Today we drove from Crescent City, through the resort town of Fort Dick (HA!) where there is a State Correctional Institute that must employ most of the 938 people who live in Fort Dick.  The weather is not sunny and we are not enjoying the clouds and fog.  We did, however, enjoy seeing a gianormous paper mache looking statue of Paul Bunyan and his blue balled bull, Babe at the Trees of Mystery tourist trap in Klamath, CA.  No, we did not take advantage of the "awe- inspiring interpretive trail" but merely mocked Paul and Babe and drove on.

Shortly thereafter we entered Oregon and the sunshine for a brief period.  The coastline was gorgeous and we stopped at an overlook where we saw a huge granite "rock" with an arch carved into it by the ocean.  Afterwards we drove into Coos Bay where we stopped at the brand new visitor's center and spoke to a sweet little man, about the age of Methuselah, and a retired couple who lived in their RV traveling the country.  They would soon go to Costa Rica for 3 months to lecture and lead birding groups at a resort.  We were momentarily jealous until we remembered what we're doing for the next 3 months, 3 years, forever.

Methuselah sent us to his favorite seafood restaurant, Fisherman's Grotto, in the fishing village of Charleston.  Their fresh fish of the day was tuna and we ordered it lightly seared.  Unfortunately, it came fully cooked and we wondered had we ordered it medium would it have arrived as tuna jerky.  It was, however, the freshest tuna we have ever eaten and was very yummy.   Next to the restaurant and guarding the bridge was a very large wood carved statue of Charlie the Tuna, so we should have known the tuna would be fresh.

Further along the coast road we stopped at a rose garden, which was somewhat lacking when compared to the gorgeous roses growing around Pleasanton, CA.  Maybe the thick coastal fog blanketing the area choked the roses' growth.  The large group of sea lions that supposedly inhabited the area also seemed to be missing.

On the way back to Highway 101 we stopped for gas and learned that in Oregon you are not allowed, by law, to pump your own gas.  A boon for gas station attendants!!  Since I hate pumping my own gas, I love this law!!!!!

Avenue of Giants

The one problem with staying in motels with bikers is that when they fire up their Harleys at 8:00 AM, while you are in a dead sleep, it scares the living shit out of you!!!!  On the positive side, it wasn't the alarm clock ringing for Phyllis at 5:30 am, or Gina at 6:30 am, so that we could get up and go to work.  Phyllis made coffee - yes we bring our full size coffee pot and our Community New Orleans Blend with us while we're on the road - and cooked us some grits in the microwave.  How we will live without our Community New Orleans Blend while we're backpacking in foreign countries has yet to be determined.  Apparently that will be another thing we learn to live without in pursuit of our dream.

Not far north of Garberville was the entrance to the Avenue of Giants in the Humboldt Redwoods State Park.  It's a 31 mile scenic drive through old growth redwoods and was exceptionally tranquil.  (see additional photos in the Picassa album on the right of the blog)

G- Lost Man Creek.
P- Lost Man Creek?  I sure hope they're not counting on us to stop and find him
or that poor bastard will stay lost.
G- Yeah. We lost the 2 we had and we're not looking for replacements

After the Avenue of Giants we visited an adorable Victorian town named Ferndale where we ate a picnic lunch.  There seem to be blackberry bushes growing wild all over this area, and people are stopped all along the road picking them.

Back on the road through Eureka, Ca and a quick drive past the Carson Mansion, we entered the coastal fog. 

G- Did you see that sign?  Coastal Access, Skunk Cabbage.
P- Skunk Cabbage?!  Lawd, cabbage farts smell bad enough, I can only imagine what skunk cabbage farts smell like.
G- I don't want to know.  Maybe when you eat it you get so loaded that when you fart, it just makes you giggle?

Our next detour was to the coastal town of Trinidad; not to be confused with Trinidad & Tobago.  It was an adorable seaside town and the first time the California coast started looking like the Oregon coast with large granite rocks out in the ocean. The town is a still functioning fishing village with a fishing pier and a functioning light house.
We ended this day in Crescent City, Ca. and had traveled 150 miles this day. Total miles traveled from San Francisco: 356.

Where is Robin Hood?

With our new method of flying by the seat of our pants, of course we don't have hotel reservations anywhere. Hell, we don't even have an itinerary. *cringes*  So when we arrived in the big town of Garberville, Main St. about 4 blocks, we stopped at the motels and inquired about the rates.  Having brought some frozen food with us, (food that Phyllis cooked and froze for the first week of our trip) we needed a  microwave to heat it.

As luck would have it, we ended up at the Sherwood Forest Motel, a place out of the 50's, but with WiFi!
On our journey from Nola to SF we had started the practice of having an evening Bloody Mary after we'd check into our hotel, so we revived this practice and sat outside our room playing on Facecrack and sipping our Bloodies.

P- Let's go in and have dinner.  I'm going to heat the red gravy and meat sauce I cooked..
G- Ok, I'll get the rest of the stuff out of Stormy and fix the bed so it'll be ready when we get tired.
P- What are you going to do with the bed?
G- You know I'm scraping off that nasty bedspread.  Since we brought our old bedspread in case we camped, I'm going to put it on the bed.
P- Alright my freaky girl, do whatever you want to the bed.  The spread looks clean to me.
G- You should thank me. God only knows what kind of schmegma is on that bedspread.  That's why they are made in those dark, multi-colored patterns, so you can't see the nasty shit that's on them.

We enjoyed our cocktails and dinner and watched several bikers check into Sherwood Forest.  We decided it was a good thing to have bikers around and watching some of these old(er) dudes and chicks get off their Harleys after a long day made us feel better about the decrepit condition of our post move bodies.

P- I'm gonna take a shower before I go to bed.
G- Why are you gonna shower when you took one not that long ago and you've only been riding in the car?
P- Because I feel dusty from driving all day.
G- You didn't ride on a horse.
P- Shut up bitch!  Why do you care if I take a shower?
G- I don't care if you take a shower, but it's odd that you feel dirty from driving in a nice clean car, but you're willing to sleep under that skank bedspread.  Now that's F*ed up.
P- To the moon Alice!  You wear my ass out!  Shut the hell up!

Finally hitting the road.

P- Are you ready to go?  Can we start carrying the stuff down the stairs?
G- Yes, and just put everything on the ground, at the back of Stormy, so I can look at everything and see how it has to be loaded.
P- Don't worry, after all these years, I know that's how we do it. I know that you're the car packer.
G- Look at that!  More than enough room!!!  I am an excellent packer! An excellent packer!
P- Very good job Rainman.  Now get into the car and let's get this show on the road!!!

We drove across San Francisco, up and down the hills on Divisadaro, commenting on our love of the city.  We crossed the Golden Gate Bridge and looked at the city's skyline from across the bay.

G- I'd be crying my eyes out if we weren't coming back in a month or so.
P- I know, when we leave SF to head to Nola, we're gonna be crying like babies.
G- I'm sure it's hard for some people to understand why we'd leave if we love it so much, but there are always things you have to give up to make your dreams come true.
P- And we'll be back.

We took the most direct route (HA!) and drove through Napa Valley on our way out of town. It was a beautiful sunny day - surprise, surprise - and the vines were green and working hard to produce the tasty grapes we love to drink.   We stopped off at the Culinary Institute of America and had lunch with Liz. Yummy! And she gave us a tour. 

We drove north on Highway 101.  We had never been higher than Guerneville and were surprised by the way Highway 101 turned into a 2 lane highway meandering through little country towns.  The town of Willits still had a Rexall Pharmacy and a mom-n-pop restaurant named Burrito Exquisito!!  It was beautiful drive.   Since we got a late start after our lunch at the CIA, we only drove 205 miles and stopped in the town of Garberville.

Time for our evening cocktail!!

Regrouping and Rejuvenating

After the harrowing night we had finally getting out of the apartment, we slept late at Shannon's house and then returned to Pleasanton to get the rest of the stuff off of Steve's porch.  We actually crammed a little more stuff into the storage unit, drove down Pleasanton's Main Street one last time, with a pass through the Meadowlark Dairy for a soft serve ice cream cone, and with sadness in our hearts, headed back to San Francisco.  We chilled the rest of the day.............it was a hard earned break. 

Tuesday we reorganized all of the crap we had brought to Shannon's and repacked our bags. 

P- How much stuff are you bringing with you? 
G- Well, I'm not being very judicious with my space because we can still bring what can fit into the SUV and we're not sure what kind of climates we'll be in or what kind of clothes we'll need.
P- How many pairs of shoes are you bringing?
G- Too many.  Um, maybe 5-6?
P- What happened to the epiphany you said you had last night?
G- The epiphany was that we still have too much shit and that we were going to get rid of even more stuff when we returned to SF, but right now, I'm taking 5-6 pairs of shoes and more clothes than I'm sure I need.
I have to transition from a walk in closet to a 60 pound suitcase of clothes before I can go traveling around Asia with less than 40 pounds on my back.
P- I agree.  By the time we get to Asia, we'll be happy to only have one bag on our backs with only 4 shirts and 2 pairs of shorts.
G- Ain't dat da truth!

Get the bucket!!!

After eating we felt slightly rejuvenated for the final push.


G- Ok, are we ready to bring everything to the SUV (Stormy)?
P- I know you're an excellent packer, but I still don't think all of this is going to fit into Stormy.
G- Well, it has to because we can't leave it here. Let's just carry everything to the curb and I'll start packing it. If need be, we can put stuff on top.

Everything was dragged to the curb and I packed poor Stormy, a Mazda Tribute, as tight as a flea's ass in a beer drum (as old Bob Bostick use to say) but there was still a lot of crap on the curb. Our neighbor, Steve, had taken pity on us and had helped us carry stuff to the curb and to the trash bin so we asked him if we could put the rest of the stuff on his patio and return the next day to pick it up. He graciously agreed. With the extra crap on Steve's patio, we only had our 2 suitcases (large duffel types on wheels) and the air mattress to strap down on top of the Stormy.

G- How in the hell are we gonna get these bags on top of Stormy? My arms are so sore I couldn't life them to cover my mouth is I sneezed.
P- Well I'm gonna help you get it up there. You lift it up to my arms and I'll hoist it up like setting a volleyball or like moving some surfer along in a mosh pit.

It did go quite well and soon I was strapping the bags down until the crank on the straps got jammed. It was MIDNIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

P- you can't get it to crank anymore?
G- no, and I don't know what's wrong with it.
P-what are we gonna do?
G- (still sitting on top of Stormy) I just want to climb down and lie on the ground. I'm too tired to even cry now. Please, run over me with the damn car!!!!!
P- It's almost over, we just have to figure out how to strap these bags down and we can leave. (it is uncharacteristic that Phyllis is the one calming Gina as it is usually the other way around. Damn Peri-menopause!!!!!)
G- these bags and the air mattress have to come to Shannon's tonight! Screw the strap! Let's just put the bags in the passenger seat and I'll sit on the console.
P- Ok, but we have to be very careful for cops because Shannon just got a $400 ticket because her kid had the seat belt under his arm when he bent over to pick something up from the floor.
G- we'll be careful and it is midnight.

The air mattress bag was put onto the floor and we stood up the duffel bags in the passenger seat. I climbed in from the drivers seat and squeezed my not- as- small- as- it- use- to- be ass between the seats on top of the console. I leaned back onto the shit stacked in the back, put my feet up on the dashboard and we left Pleasanton.

G- I can't see shit, so you'll have to warn me if you see a cop.

P- Well I can't see out of the rear view mirror and I can't see out of the passenger side mirror.
G- I can pull the bags back slightly when you need to change lanes.
P- Thank God it is the middle of the night and traffic won't be so bad.
G- I'll drape this jacket over my legs and yours over my shoulder and only my head is sticking out. Otherwise I don't look like a person, I just look like the rest of the crap.
P- What about your head?
G- Hand me that square bucket that came out of the ice chest and I can put that on my head.
P- perfect!

As luck would have it, we were passed by 2 cops in Oakland and 3 cops on the Bay Bridge. Phyl would yell "get the bucket" and I would put the bucket over my head and lean into the bags. I was so exhausted, I didn't care if I smothered under the bucket and apparently neither did she as 2 times she neglected to tell me that the coast was clear and I could take the bucket off my head. It was a fitting ending to a completely F*ed up weekend!!!!!