College Fjord

Saturday was a day at sea and good thing because it rained all day. We knew we would enter the College Fjord sometime in the evening, but the crew didn't play up the Fjord like they did Glacier Bay. We were sitting at dinner, with Hal & Jackie, when we noticed the absolutely gorgeous glaciers surrounding the ship in the Fjord. We finished dinner quickly and hurried up on deck. Fortunately the rain had stopped and it was not yet dark.

P- What the hell?!? This is absolutely beautiful! Why did they make such a big deal of the final dinner instead of the Fjord.

Jackie- I can't imagine. This is stunning!

G- I would have skipped dinner altogether had I known the Fjord was this beautiful!

P- Exactly, I couldn't give a shit about the dining room staff dancing around flailing napkins and singing stupid songs.

G- I don't know, the vegetable juggling act was quite impressive. I'm inspired to grab some peppers and onions and teach myself to juggle. Hal, you want to learn to juggle with me?

Hal - Sure.

P- Shut up! You are stupid!

Jackie- You girls crack me up.

College Fjord was incredible and we stood on deck, in awe of the 360 degree view of multiple glaciers, until it was too dark to see.

Those People

The early wake up call and the thrill of Glacier Bay wore us out, so we took a nap before heading to the dining room. Because we had already met so many interesting people, we were no longer leery of being randomly sat at a table with strangers. Isn't that always the way? The minute you let your guard down.............wa-pow! We were sat at a 6 top with Wink & Melony (retired, about early 70's, clearly refined people) and, we'll call them Archie & Edith (from somewhere in Oregon), because their names were not worth remembering, and because he was an ass and she was the ass' wife.


We began with the usual introductions and talk of where we were from.

Wink - I'm a retired Engineer and spent several months in New Orleans, after Katrina, rebuilding a school. I have several close friends from my engineering firm and we all retired around the same time and each year we travel to a needy community to build a facility. In the spring we'll go to the Yukon to build a community center in an Eskimo village.

G- That sounds fantastic! The people of New Orleans definitely appreciated the people such as yourself who did so much to help us after the storm. And it is great that you get to spend time with your friends from work. I'm sure you missed them after retirement.

Wink - We were very close and I do miss them, so these trips are very enjoyable.

Archie- I'm retired too, but I don't miss anyone I worked with. I disliked those people and they disliked me. It's probably because I would complain about things that weren't done right and people hated that. I took early retirement to get out of there.

P-(under her breath to G) Uh-oh! Somethings not right with this guy.

G- (raises eyebrow and nods)

The conversation continues as Archie regales us with stories of all the idiots he use to work with and how his daughter married a moron and how his neighbor is always giving him trouble, blah, blah, blah.

P- (under breath to G) How can we get this asshole to shut his mouth?

G- (under breath to P) Let's just try to ignore him and maybe he'll shut up. Just don't say anything to him.

P- So Wink, that's an unusual name. I assume it's a nickname. How did you get it.

Wink- Well, I'm German, and when my family moved to America after the war, no one could say my name, so I selected Wink.

Archie - My friend went to Germany and told me that those people all stink because they don't bathe.

G- (gasps & looks at Phyllis with eyes bulging)

Wink- Well, that's not very accurate.

Melony, P & G exchange a look of mortification. G looks at Wink with apologetic eyes.

P- Oh, I'm German too.

Archie - No it's true! My friend said they don't bathe.

G- (drops fork and flips around to face Archie, to her right) That is total horse shit!! That is just some myth that stupid Americans perpetuate!!! (sharp, squinted eyes, look of rebuke)

P- (under her breath) Yikes! Archie, you'd better shut the hell up or Gina will cut out your tongue with her butter knife.

Ah! Finally, Archie fell silent and Phyl, Gina, Wink & Melony had a lovely conversation about Germany and traveling throughout Europe. On our way back to our room.............

P- Can you freakin believe that guy.

G- Oh my gawd! A complete buffoon!!!! The use of "those people" sends a rod up my ass!!!! You know there have been several people who know we're gay who have said to me "I don't know why those people think they should be allowed to marry." Hello!!! Stupid MF!!! I am those people. Oh well, if it wasn't that stupid comment it would have been another.

P- Oh, I knew we weren't going to make it through dinner without you sticking your foot in Archie's ass.

You Shouldn't Take It With You

Dude, when they said wear tails to dinner, this is NOT what they meant!!!

How does one do this?  Did he not pull off a few sheets when he wiped his ass?  Did he simply use it still attached to the role so that when he left the bathroom, it just stayed with him?

Glacier Bay!

At 3:00 AM I awoke to use the bathroom. Phyl was snoring so I felt my way along without turning on any lights. I got my toilet paper and attempted to wipe.


G- Shit! (jumping up and throwing on the light)

P- (startled awake) What's wrong?

G- Did you flush the toilet recently?

P- No! Not since we went to bed and I checked to make sure the water stopped filling.

G- Well it must have been steadily dripping during the night because I just went to wipe and the water is so damn high that I put my hand in it! Damn it to hell!!! It's all the way up to the top. I HATE THIS TOILET!!!!!!

P- (coming into the bathroom) Flush it and let's watch it again to be sure it stops running. I'm going to go to the customer service desk tomorrow and chew someone's ass.

After that rude awakening, it seemed we had just fallen back asleep when our coffee arrived at 7:00 AM. We wanted to be up on deck when we entered Glacier Bay. We were extremely excited about today's scenery and expected it to be our favorite day. It was quite a chilly morning, so we sat in the Crow's Nest for a while.

P- People like that piss me off! I know they made an announcement that there was no smoking allowed in here this morning. Is she deaf?

G- Well, she might be. She looks about 90. But she probably just doesn't give a damn.

P- With any luck, her 3 pack a day habit will catch up with her in the next few minutes and that'll solve that problem.

We met up with Hal & Jackie and secured a spot along the railing. The ranger announced that there was a Humpback Whale carcass on the beach upon which bears had been feasting throughout the summer. Sure enough, we saw 3 huge grizzly bears and 1 cub on the beach, eating the whale, which appeared, at this point, to be nothing but bones. We all gasped in delight as we passed around the binoculars.

The day was as spectacular as we had anticipated. The glaciers were absolutely stunning and the color of the water was indescribable!  The ship stopped at the glacier cul-du-sac and we stood listening to the cracking and thundering as the glacier calved. We studied the cracks in the glacier walls, the variations of blue, and the snake like movement of the practically immobile ice. It is hard to believe that when this bay was discovered (by a European) just 250 years ago, the glacier extended to the bay entrance.

We spent most of the day on deck; not until we exited the glacier area, did we go inside to warm up and get a bite to eat. We all agree that it had been a magical day. Glacier Bay was the highlight of our trip! This was the Alaska that Phyl & I had wanted to see. The breathtaking beauty cannot be described but must be experienced first hand.

 
 
(see more photos in Picasa album)

Mr. Pissy Pants

We awoke in Skagway and had made it through the night without toilet issues due to the new rule..........no nighttime flushing. Skagway was, by far, the smallest of the Alaskan cities we visited, with a population of 800, but it was adorable and nestled between 2 mountains. We walked through the town in about 10 minutes and decided to have a beer at the Skagway Microbrewery before undertaking the long 10 minute walk back. The bartender was a cute guy, seemingly in his late 20's, and we overheard him telling another customer that he had moved to Skagway for 10 years.


G- (to Phyllis) 10 years! Good lord! What does a guy in his 20's do in a tiny town like this? Why would he voluntarily move here unless he's a huge outdoors man or something like that.

P- According to the crazy bus driver in Juneau, drink, drugs or breed.

G- (to the bartender) This is such a small town, what does one do around here?

Bartender- (In a very annoyed tone and cocky manner) What do you do where you live? Work, hang out with friends, same things we do here. (and then he walked off before I could respond)

P- Well, that question seems to have pissed him off.

G- Really! What is his problem? It was a valid question and his answer was unsatisfactory. Maybe he didn't get the point of the question. Surely there is something that he loves to do that he can only do in this town or in Alaska. Or why in the hell would he live here. What do we do? Yes, we work and hang out with friends, but we also go to ball games, plays, restaurants, festivals, and we can drive to the beach, to beautiful places, and to other states. He can only fly or boat out of here. Hello! 800 people live in this town filled with tourist shops. He probably followed a girl here and then she dumped him.

P- It appears that the one thing he does not do in this town is get laid because it sounds like he needs to.

We finished our beers and I never did get an answer to my question from Mr. Pissy Pants. After running the T-shirt shop gauntlet, we returned to the ship and sat on the upper deck admiring the beautiful scenery, watching seals frolic, and sea planes come over the mountain tops and coast to a watery landing.

After our cocktail hour we headed to dinner and were pleasantly surprised to run into Hal & Jackie. This time we requested a 4 top and got to know each other better over dinner. We lingered, talking for so long that they finally threw us out. We learned that Jackie and Hal lived in a small Iowa town, were about to celebrate their 33rd wedding anniversary, and would be delighted if we'd come for a visit.

G- Iowa? I can honestly say that traveling to Iowa has never crossed my mind.

P- where, exactly is Iowa?

G- Somewhere up in the middle of the country.

Jackie- (in her sweet British accent) Yes, there's not much to it, just farm country. Our town doesn't even have a stop light, but we're midway between Denver and Chicago, so you're going to be passing us anyway. You two would cause quite a stir.

G- Ok! We'll go to Iowa. Are there any farms around you?

Hal- Oh sure. A pig farm and a dairy farm.

G- Really? Could you arrange for me to milk a cow? I've always wanted to milk a cow.

P- You've always wanted to milk a cow? What?

Hal- I don't think that'll be a problem. I'll talk to my friend who owns the dairy farm.

P- Oh, I can't wait to take some video of that!!!

We parted ways and Phyl and I decided to go sit in the hot tub before going to bed early.

G- Is it hot enough?

P- Gawd! It is too hot, I think I now have 3rd degree burns on my legs.

G- Holy crap! If we sit in here for longer than 5 minutes, my ovaries will be burled like crawfish!!!

P-I don't see that as a problem since you won't be needing them for anything anymore. I can't stand it another minute, let's go cool off by walking on the deck. I'm ready for bed anyway.

Towel Porn

Anyone who has ever been on a cruise knows about the towel characters left on your bed each night.  Most are easily identifiable such as this pig.............

This one, not so much............. Walrus?  Lobster?  Sea Lion?  Who knows, but we do know it is an animal of some sort.

But on this particular night, we returned to the room and were mortified when we opened the door.  Apparently our room steward is trying out some new towel arrangements based on something he saw in a porn movie.

Drink, Drugs or Breed

All had gone well with the flushing of the toilet until this night. At 3:30 AM Phyllis used the bathroom and made the mistake of flushing. After our prior experience with the cascading waterfall, we are now keenly aware of the sounds the falls make, especially in the dead of the night.


P- Oh shit!

G- (rudely awakened) What's wrong?

P- The toilet will not stop running and is threatening to overflow again. I've been flushing it each time it almost overflows and it goes down, but it keeps refilling. I've flushed about 10 times and it won't stop.

G-Damn it! Why'd you flush it in the first place?

P- Excuse me for having to pee! Call someone!!!!!

I called the desk and told the woman, in an unhappy, groggy tone, that the toilet was overflowing AGAIN!!!! She sent someone who looked as though he had been asleep, and although he smiled and acted "cruise happy", was clearly none to pleased with the situation. Just as before, but without the wave cresting against the bathroom wall, the toilet had stopped filling after the 28th flush. I had the strong suspicion that this dude did not believe me when he showed up and I told him the problem had stopped, but the plumber better address it in the morning.

GGGRRRRRRRR!!!!! New rule!! There will be no nighttime flushing!!!

We had decided to eat breakfast on the Lido deck, so the steward's knock signified the arrival of only coffee. We were none too happy this morning after last night's interrupted sleep, but hey, we were in Alaska, so we got over it. Specifically, we were in Juneau. Our plan was as it had been yesterday, go into town and see what we wanted to do. We had not scheduled any excursions through the cruise line because we didn't want to sell off organs or limbs to pay for them. We found the excursions to be outrageously expensive and because we now estimate the value of things based on the number of days/weeks that money would afford us in Asia, we elected not to spend the extra money on excursions.

On shore we found a tour bus that would take us to the Mendenhall Glacier for a nominal fee. Perfect! The bus was an old school bus and the driver was a native American (Tlingit) woman in her mid to late 30's. At first it seems that she bubbled with personality as she began the tour with some good bus driver humor about the area. Unfortunately, half way through the ride, the humor became somewhat bizarre.

Bus driver - Here in Alaska, the winters are long and dark and people do 1 of 3 things to get them through the winters: drink, drugs or breed. Now I have 5 kids ranging in age from 9 - 17, so I guess you can tell I chose breeding!

P- (looks at G and raises eyebrow) I'm ready for her to shut the hell up. She stopped being funny 10 minutes ago. (We had only been on the bus 10 minutes.)

G- Isn't it possible to simply have sex throughout the winter without actually breeding? It should be possible to purchase contraception in Juneau. And who says breed when they are referring to themselves?

Bus driver - On our left you can see the new Wal-Mart. It employs about 300 people, but Wal-mart had to change its rules in order to hire employees here in Alaska. It seems that when they were first hiring, only 10% of the applicants could pass the drug test. So, the local management had to go to the Wal-mart headquarters and get them to change the rules so they could hire people even if they could not pass the drug test. So now this Wal-mart has different drug testing procedures than all the others.

P- Ok, this bitch is crazy.

G- She sounds proud. I'm skeptical of the validity of this claim and why would this be something to be proud of?

Bus driver - Here we are at the glacier. The final bus returns to the cruise ship terminal at 6:00 pm, so don't miss that bus; and I have a tip jar up front if you liked the bus tour. You know each bus driver writes her own material.

G- Shocking!

I'm not sure if I previously mentioned this, but Phyllis seems to be constantly worrying, and talking about being eaten, or mauled, by a bear. I continually mock her for this, but it seems the more we travel in the Pacific Northwest, the more my admonitions of her ridiculousness is losing credibility. Apparently, there have been numerous bear mauling/attacks this season and scientists are trying to determine why the bears are so aggressive.

P-(on the bus) You think we'll be safe wandering around the glacier or if we need to be worried about bears?

G- Really, considering the fact that bus loads of tourists are dropped off at the visitor's center every 15 minutes and hundreds of people are walking all over the place, it seems unlikely that you will see a bear. Or more importantly, that a bear will see you and decide that you, out of everyone, look ripe for a mauling. I think you'll be fine.

P- Easy for you to say, you can run faster than me.

Unfortunately, Laura Engals (the bus driver) told us stories of bears tearing up her garbage every night, and as we were exiting the bus, told us to watch out for bears. Thanks Laura, you bitch! On the path through the trees on the way to the glacier, we did see several piles of, what appeared to be, fresh bear scat. If we were to see a bear, I'd never hear the end of it.

Fortunately, the day ended without a bear sighting. The glacier was incredibly beautiful and the blue ice still amazes us. We took a mile hike to the waterfall just beside the glacier and just breathed in the cool, clean air. We made it back to the bus without  being attacked by a bear and were happy to get a new bus driver.

You Are What You Eat.

Breakfast and coffee delivered to our room.................... oh how we love this cruise feature!!!! One great thing about being in a small ship is the awesome docking space we get. Our ship was smack dab in the middle of the dock and all we had to do was walk down the gangway and into the town. Ketchican is a cute little town and we spent a few hours walking through shops, going to the museum, and walking along Creek Street. We walked across one waterway that contained so many Salmon, you could see them practically stacked on top of each other.

P-  Let's go look at that totem pole over there.  The one with the bird on the top.

G- Hmmmm.  Chief Johnson Totem Pole.  Isn't that redundant?

P- Ha!

Sickness is such a worry for cruise ships that there are Purell dispensers located all over this ship. As you show your card to walk back up the gangway, there is a ship worker who squirts Purell into your hand. It kind've reminded me of kindergarten but is comforting to know that Holland America is doing everything possible to keep their ships healthy.

Back on board we ate lunch, read, enjoyed champagne happy hour in The Mix (not to be confused with The Mix in San Francisco) and went to dinner. To our surprise and good fortune, we ran into Jackie and Hal at the Maitre d's desk, so we asked to sit together. We expected to sit at a 4 top, but were sat at a round 8 top with the 4 other people already there.  We went through the standard introductions...... to Phyl's left, Dave & his wife Leigh (approximately late 60's, from Michigan but currently living in Tucson, AZ) and to their left, their daughter, Diane & her husband Rick (approximately early - mid 40's, living in Baltimore, MD). 
 
We were initially unhappy about this seating arrangement, but after the conversation began, were reminded to stop judging based on looks.  Not sure how many times we're gonna have to be reminded of this before it sticks, but we're workin on it. Dave & Leigh were very cool and interesting; they are retired and currently traveling the US in a large van.  They seemed much younger than their ages and had good travel stories. After we ordered dinner, we began to talk about the kinds of food eaten in different areas.
 
Rick - I love seafood, especially the crabs in Baltimore.
 
P - We love Louisiana blue crabs and can't wait to get home to eat a ton of Louisiana seafood. Hopefully there will be some after BP has killed most of it.
 
Rick - Do you eat raw oysters?
 

Diane - Ugh!  That is one thing I cannot eat........raw oysters!
 
G- I love raw oysters.  As N'awlins girls, we will pretty much eat anything that you can shuck, boil, fry, or cook in a nice gravy.
 
Dave - Have you ever eaten alligator?
 
P- Yes.  Some of it tastes like chicken, some parts like pork...  When we went home for Mardi Gras this year, my brother roasted a pig and it was divine!! 
 
Dinner was served, causing a lull in the conversation.  As we each focused on our meal, Dave leaned to Phyl ............
 
Dave- Have you ever tasted beaver?
 
P- (jerks her head, kicks Gina under the table, and lets out a tiny gasp) No, I can't say that I have......but my brother eats Raccoon......he's like Jethro Bodine.....
 

G- (eyes bulging, turns head so fast to look at Dave, almost gets whiplash) What does it taste like?
 
Dave- Oh, it's a red, succulent, sweet meat.  You should really try it, if you get the chance.
 
P- (still gasping for air)  Ok, Dave, I would love to have some beaver. (looks conspiratorially at Gina)
 
Dinner concluded without additional excitement and we left the dining room in search of a strong drink. 
 

Come quickly!!

The day dawned, or maybe it didn't.  Our cave remained dark as pitch, so we never knew if it was day or night, or had any inkling of the time. Certainly we slept in, and we had coffee delivered to our room................room service is a fantastic thing!!! We thoroughly enjoyed lounging and not having to pack up Stormy.  We were in the middle of enjoying this restfulness, sitting in bed, drinking our coffee ..............

G- What is that sound?

P- Sounds like water.  Did the toilet flush properly?

G- Yes, it flushed normally (I am saying as I walk to the bathroom)..... Holy shit! The toilet is overflowing!!!  It flushed normally, but the water keeps running to refill it.  There is no valve to shut the water off.  SHIT!!!!!

P- Move over and let me see.  OMG!  The water is getting deep!  I hope it doesn't go into the room!! (Phyl flushed it, and the water goes down a little, but keeps running.)  Go call someone!!!!

G- Yes!!  This is room 364, the toilet is overflowing and water is just running over the bowl like a waterfall!!  Send someone quick!!!!!  (I hang up the phone and run back to the bathroom.  The water continues to flow and there is about 2-3 inches on the bathroom floor.  Fortunately, the ship is tilted in the direction of the wall and not the doorway, and the water was not spilling into the room.

P- I've flushed this bitch about 10 times and I'm just going to keep flushing it until someone gets here!  There is no way to turn the water off!!!

G- No shit!  What do you think I was doing when I had my head practically under the toilet?  I was trying to find a valve.  Just keep flushing!  At least you're stopping more water from spilling over.  Throw me those towels so I can make a dam by the door.

P-  Listen!  I think it has stopped running. 

G-  Ugh!!!  Thank you, Jesus!!!

Just then, Moose, the room steward knocks on the door.  We explain what happened and go sit back down on the bed.  He flushes the toilet several times and it flushes and refills normally.  He tells us he is going to have the plumber look at it, uses a plastic jug to scoop up the water, wipes everything and gives us new towels.  And, just like that he disappears.

G- I'm not sure he believed our account of that incident.

P - WTF?!  We certainly didn't just let the shower run and flood the bathroom.

G- Just like when you bring your car to a mechanic when it's making a noise, but when you get to the mechanic, the noise stops and the damn car is fine.  Damn toilet!!!

The remainder of the day was very uneventful.  It was a day at sea, and it rained all day. We did what people on cruises do, we ate constantly. We went to a lecture on art history and one on Tai Chi. Otherwise, we spent the afternoon reading in the Library. Neither of us could recall if the very young and wild Carnival cruise ships that we had sailed out of Nola had Libraries. We kind've doubt it. That crowd was considerably younger and the activities leaned to those poolside, including contests to see who can put the most fruit into his or her bathing suit. On this Alaskan cruise, it is far too cool for poolside activities and the passengers don't play with fruit. They eat it. Prunes especially; to keep themselves regular!! I'm not sure exactly what it says about us that we were very happy to sit in the library and read. I guess we were tired from traveling and we're not as young as we use to be. At least we know that when the mood takes us, we can still be wild and stuff fruit down our pants.

This night was formal night and we dressed as formally as we could with the limited amount of formal clothes we had. We didn't see Jackie and Hal at dinner and instead were sat with 4 women. It is ironic that there are some people you run into everywhere you go on the ship and other people you never see. 2 of the ladies we had dinner with we have subsequently seen all over the ship and the other 2 we have never seen again.

After dinner we went to the show, a sing and dance number one would expect on a cruise ship, then went up to the Crow's Nest for Motown and 50's and 60's dancing. We had an awesome few hours dancing and knocked out when we hit the bed.

Mr. BIG the drug mule.

As insane as this sounds, Sunday morning we got up and were at the bus stop for 9 am to catch the bus to the airport. Even though we had just driven from Vancouver to Seattle in the prior 2 days, we were now catching a motor coach at the Seattle airport to take us back to Vancouver to get on the cruise ship. We wanted to just stay in Vancouver, catch the cruise there, then fly back to Vancouver from Anchorage, but the cost of a flight to Vancouver is 3 times as much as the cost of a flight to Seattle, so it was considerably cheaper to drive back to Seattle and take a bus to Vancouver. Also, we left Stormy with Alyce & Dave.

P- I hope the Canadians don't become suspicious of our intentions since we just left yesterday and we're returning today.

G- I don't think we seem very suspicious so we should be fine. Besides, it's way more difficult to get into America, even if you're American, than Canada. Well, you might look suspicious since you're funny looking.

P- Shut up, ass. Let me in your country, bitch!! (this should be read like "say my name, bitch" from American Pie).  What's going on up there?  Are they gonna take us off the bus to go through customs?

G- Yes. In a minute.  The bus driver just told them that the BIG guy on the "mobility scooter" and the woman with the walker need someone to come to the bus to check them in.  We're all going inside in a minute.

After going through customs, half of the bus riders are back on the bus, Mr.BIG and walker lady have been cleared, and we're just waiting for the rest of the people.

P- Did you hear that? Mr. BIG just told the bus driver he has to use the bathroom, so he's going to go inside to pee.  Oh, and walker lady is going to go pee too.

G-  H-E-L-L-O!!!!  Did they not just tell the customs guy that they had to be checked on the bus because they were too immobile to get off?  And now they're going to get off the bus to go in and pee?  I mean, I understand that they have to pee, but they could have peed and been checked in like the rest of us.

P- And there is no way in hell Mr. BIG is getting his huge ass down the bus isle to the bathroom in the back.

G- Sweet baby Jesus!  If Mr. BIG tried to wedge himself into that bathroom, even sideways, he'd be stuck in there for weeks!!!  They'd have to bring a vat of oil and a crane to try and pry him out!!  I practically had to turn sideways to get in.

P- The Canadians are probably thinking something fishy is going on.............if Mr. BIG is a drug mule!!  Maybe he really only weights 140 pounds, and the remaining 400 pounds is cocaine!!

G- You watch too much TV.  I've never seen cocaine look like whale blubber, and if some drug lord has accomplished that, he's a genius. 

We finally got to see Vancouver while we drove across the city to the cruise ship dock. The weather was beautiful as the ship pulled away from the dock. We got a great spot on the deck and enjoyed the scenery and several Alaskan beers as we watched Vancouver fade into the distance. Jeffrey, the bartender, sensed immediately that we were people who enjoyed a cold beverage now and again, and stuck to us like white on rice.

Booking the cruise at the last minute could have been dangerous, and we did have an inside cabin, but it was very spacious with a King size bed, a sofa, large shower, and ample storage. We were happy to be able to put our clothes in closets and be in one place for a whole week.



Our most fortunate event of the day came when we went to dinner and were sat, via open dining, with an adorable couple (Jackie & Hal) who would become our cruise buddies and favorite people we met on the cruise. Hal just celebrated his 80th birthday, Jackie has the sweetest British accent, and they have wonderful senses of humor!