Back to Bali

After 4 days in Lombok we decided to return to Bali and to the Sinar Bali Hotel where we were very comfortable. We were not “feeling it” in Lombok and without our own transportation, were trapped at our hotel. We woke up, packed (we have already become quite fast and efficient at packing), and had some breakfast, careful not to drink too much. As we waited for the shuttle van to arrive, the guy who had arranged our transportation got a phone call telling him to send us in a cab to the tour booth. Apparently the shuttle van was full and they could not fit us. When we got to the tour booth, we, an Indonesian girl, and 4 Germans, were herded into a beat up van, without a/c. Phyl and the Indonesian girl rode in the front and Phyl noted that her ipod contained Usher, Lil Wayne, & Pink. During our ride we passed a 4 story Muslim school that the driver told us was built by 'Arab Saudis'. After riding for about an hour, we were deposited at the ferry terminal and told to go inside a very small, crowded, snack shack.

G- My gawd! I feel like I'm going to pass out.

P- It's like a sauna in here.

Hawker #1 – You buy rice?

G- No, thank you. (to Phyl) Did you see that sweat drip off my elbow?

P- Yes. Do you see the sweat dripping off my hair? Sweat is flowing between my boobs like the damn Colorado River through the Grand Canyon!

G- My pants are soaking. I can't tell if it's sweat, if I peed on myself or if 'the scourge' is overflowing. I need a bathroom.

P- There's a bathroom in that corner.

G- I am absolutely NOT going in there. God only knows what might crawl out of the hole in that dark, dank catacomb.

Hawker #2- You buy fruit?

P- No, thank you. (to Gina) I'd go stand outside to get some air but then I'd be standing in the sun.

Hawker #2 – Long ride. 4 hour.

G- No, thank you. (to Phyl) I may have never sweated this much in my whole life. Maybe not even in Nola, when I cut the grass, in the middle of the day, in August.

Hawker #3- You buy knife?

G- No, thank you. (to Phyl) What in the hell would we do with a knife? Can you see getting that past the TSA?

Hawker #3- Very nice. Carve wood. Lombok.

G- Very pretty, but no, thank you.

P- The ferry is late. Give me some more water.

Hawker #1- You buy rice?

G- No, thank you. I realize that 5 minutes has passed, but I'm still not hungry.

P- How can anyone eat in his heat? I may never eat again.

G- Let's go stand over there. It's shaded and not inside.

P- How will we get our ferry tickets?

G- We'll follow all of these Germans when they walk to the ferry. We're clearly all in the same group.

It was cooler outside the snack shack. While we waited we began talking to Alfred, a German traveling around S.E. Asia. The ferry arrived and we were handed a ticket as we walked with the group of Germans. After boarding the ferry, we quickly learned that the interior compartment of this ferry had a/c. We grabbed a seat behind Alfred and chatted about our trips as hawkers passed trying to sell us food and water. Alfred was then approached by 2 guys telling him that his ticket only allowed him passage in the non air con area and that he'd have to pay 50,000 rphs if he wanted to stay in the air con room. Of course this was bullshit because all of our tickets were the same. The guys were clearly not ferry employees, and no one else was being told to pay extra. Alfred stood his ground, stating that his ticket was an air con ticket and that the captain could come and address the matter with him. We continued to chat and ignore them. The guys argued their point for quite a while, but finally gave up and went away. This is the first time we had ever witnessed an attempt at fraud; all other people are actually trying to sell something.

The ride was uneventful and pleasant in the a/c. A movie was even shown during the trip. We enjoyed talking to Alfred and we were highly amused watching the Indonesians watch a silly karate movie where a little girl beat up numerous large men. Phyl was laughing out loud as the Indonesians cracked up. It was quite entertaining, watching the Indonesians, not the movie itself.

Once we docked on Bali, we were grouped according to our destinations, and walked the same trek we had when we left. We were crammed onto another old, non air con van, our backpacks stacked and smashed behind the last seat and the door. I sneezed, coughed until I choked, blew my nose and was generally miserable. Thank Gawd we had gone to the bathroom on the ferry. Pinky was proving to be one of our most valuable purchases! We bounced along for 2 hours before being dropped off at some random spot in Kuta. One couple advised the driver that they had purchased transport to Sanur. The driver questioned the veracity of their statement and told them that they should have been in a different van. Ours was the van they had been told to get into. Basically, they were screwed. Good thing they did not have a hotel booked in Sanur and had the flexibility to sleep in Kuta and go to Sanur the next day.

We ran into a Circle K and purchased something to drink and some cough drops, sans ants, while Alfred watched our bags, then we shared a cab to our respective hotels. It was nice returning to Sinar Bali Hotel and felt like returning home, or at least to the familiar, even though we had only stayed there for 5 days. It was comforting to see familiar faces. It's amazing how quickly you adjust and attach to a new environment.

Lazy Day on Lombok

P- I heard you coughing during the night, did you sleep ok?


G- No, not much. I was asleep, but then had to go to the bathroom. My head was fine in the a/c, but once I went outside into the humidity to use the bathroom, my head clogged, I started sweating, and I went into a coughing fit. Who thought putting the bathrooms outside would be a good idea? This humidity is killing my head.

P- I don't know, muffin. I'm sorry you don't feel well.

G- A cold and the woman scourge..............just shoot me now. Whah!!!

P- Keep up that whining and I just might have to shoot you.

G- WHAH!!!!!!!!! And now I'm down to only 1 ant encrusted cough drop. This a/c really cranks, but this bed sucks. Since it dips in the middle, I had to cling to the side all night to keep from being crushed in the middle by you.

P- Yes, this is the worst bed we've had.

Because this hotel is far from everything and we have no transportation, all meals were eaten at the hotel restaurant. We had breakfast in the open restaurant. The hot tea was soothing to my throat, but the heat and humidity was not helping my cold. Over breakfast, as we debated what we would do, the black clouds rolled in. We jumped into the pool to cool off and soon after it started to rain. We retreated to our patio where we talked to Julie and read. Once the rain stopped, we watched one of the hotel workers, machete in his waistband, climb the palm trees around the pool to prune them.

P- Holy crap! Do you see that guy? Really, he climbed that tree faster than a monkey.

G- And he is not even using a wrap, like Gusti did, he's just using his feet. That's unbelievable!

Around 5pm we went to the restaurant to watch TV (it had HBO) and play cards.

G- Look at that gecko on the TV! It was there last night too. It must live in the TV cabinet.

P- Perfect place to live because of all the bugs that fly around the TV screen.

G- Ha! And it adds some humor to watching TV as the gecko chases his bugs and runs across the screen.

P- Look at the frogs hopping across the floor in that corner.

G- I almost never see frogs at home. Not toads. Just those green tree frogs we had on Newman. I used to see a lot of them when I was a kid.

P- Me too. Crazy, they use pesticides to kill the mosquitoes, but instead it has killed the frogs, lightening bugs and lizards that eat the mosquitoes, but we still have mosquitoes. Guess that plan didn't work out so well.

After a while, Nenga (one of the hotel staff) asked to play cards with us. We were playing Rummy and he caught on very quickly, telling us that there is a similar Indonesian game. We played for about 2 hours and he told us about his life. Nenga was 27, and had an older brother who was married with children. He had worked at the hotel 6 years and was going to try to get a job at one of the new resorts, currently under construction, in order to make more money. He advised that he earned 800,000 rupiah per month (approximately $80.00) and lived in a boarding house near the hotel, for which he paid rent of 50,000 rph per month. We asked if he had a girlfriend, but he said he didn't because he did not make much money and dating was expensive. This, a universal truth. He told us that he was from a village about 1 hour away, into the interior of Lombok, and his father was a farmer. Then he complained he sent 400,000 rph, half of his monthly income, home to his parents to help support them. His heart tells him that this is the right thing to do, but his head tells him that he must have some money to date and find a wife. He recently had an argument with his mother, telling her that he's has to stop sending money home because he wants to marry and have a family, but she put the guilt trip on him (another universal truth) and “made his heart weak” and he agreed to keep sending the money. However, he confided that he must stop sending the money soon so that he can move forward with his own life. We talked about what it was like to live in America and about the fact that all people, no matter where they live, have the same concerns about life.

The hotel owner arrived and put an end to our game and talks. We ate dinner and went to take our showers.

G- I'm glad for the screens to keep the mosquitoes out, but don't freak out because I just saw a centipede or something run past the soap dish.

P- Are you sure that's what it was?

G- Well, it was moving too fast for me to count it's legs, so I don't know if it was a centipede or millipede, but it definitely had a lot of feet.

P- I meant, smart ass, are you sure it was not a roach?

G- I did see something that looked like it could have been a roach run past the shower head, but I'm trying not to think about it. Let's just finish the shower and get into the a/c.

P- No, I saw that one, and it was a beetle. What the hell? (Just then the water shut off.)

G- Well this is just great! I'm covered in soap.

P- Do you think it will come back on? (Just then, the water came back on; cold at first, but then it heated up.)

G- It must be on a timer. Rinse quickly before it goes off again.

P- And dry quickly before we start to sweat again.

The second night passed the same as the first. I clung to the side of the bed and every time I had to use the bathroom to address the 'woman scourge', my head clogged up and I began to sweat.

Woo-Wooed in Lombok

The Puri Bunga Cottages was a very beautiful place, but the 82 steps were killing us and the price exceeded our budget.  We had been told that Lombok was cheaper than Bali, but we were not finding that to be the case.  We had searched the internet and found cheaper accomodations further north on the coast.

G- I feel like shit this morning!
P- Your throat is still hurting you?
G- Yes, it's killing me, I feel like I'm coming down with a cold, and now I've been attacked by the scourge of all women.  Whah!  I wish I could snap my fingers and be home until I feel better.  And we're moving again.
P- We're not going far and we'll stay there until you feel better.

G- (whimpering as I pack) Ok.

We checked into Hotel Bulan Baru (new moon) and were thrilled over the fact that it was on ground level. 

P- Praise Gawd!  I'll be happy to stay here until you feel better and my legs stop aching.
G- Me too.  I'm sweating.  Let's get into the pool.
P- What do you think of that bathroom? (It was attached to the room & private, but it was outside.)
G- I'm not sure. I guess it'll be cool showering under the stars, and there is a screen to keep out the bugs.  I guess we'll find out.

After cooling off in the pool we left for a walk on the beach.  We crossed the road, walked through, what we thought was the correct coconut grove, but ended up being the wrong path, past a cow and piles of construction garbage being picked through by a woman and a boy.  We were happy when we reached the beach.  As we walked along the beach, we spotted, off to our right, a group of naked boys swimming.  We headed left and began picking up pieces of coral that were scattered all over the beach.  In short order, we were approached by the group of 5 naked boys (ages approximately 7-10).  They smiled and spoke animatedly in Indonesian.

P- Hello.  Do you speak English?
Boys- Speaking in Indonesian.
G- I guess that's the answer.  No.  (we continued to slowly walk down the beach)
Boys- Laughing & talking to each other.
P- I know it's no big deal, but all the naked children on the beaches still surprises me.
G- Being naked is great!  I'd like to be naked.
P- I think once you reach puberty, you're required to keep your clothes on.  I'd like to be naked too, but I think we'd better not. Please keep your suit on, Agnes.

G- Wait.  They're not just being naked.  Are they doing what I think they're doing?
P- I believe so!
G- I'll be damned!!  Little bastards!  I haven't been woo-wooed in almost 20 years.
P- And I've never been woo-wooed by a group of little boys.  I find it kind've disturbing.  The little perverts.
G- Well, I think they're trying to get some kind've shocked or startled reaction out of us. (The boys continued to dance around yanking on their weiners and flapping them at us as we walked off ignoring them.)
P- I got news for them, I wasn't impressed when a grown man woo-wooed me, I'm surely not reacting to those little gerkins.
G- Freaking boys/men, they're the same all over the damn world, so proud of their weiners.

Once the kids realized that we were uninterested, they ran off.  We continued to walk the beach and look at the beautifully colored coral pieces and shells.  There must have been a great coral reef just offshore, but the waves were very rough, we had no snorkels/masks, and there was a rocky barrier (like lava flowed there and hardened) between the beach and the water.

After a while we returned to the hotel and the pool where we met (left to right) Edward, Amanda, Olivia, and Julie, Aussies from a little town outside of Perth.

Stairway From Hell



Our cottage up on the mountain.





P- It was so wonderful to sleep in a/c without frog noises, rooster's crowing, and geckos making their loud noises.

G- It was nice. That a/c unit struggled all night. If you hadn't just come from 5 days without a/c, you'd have been bitching that it wasn't cold enough.

P- You're right, my perspective is very different after those sweltering days in Ubud.

G- My throat is sore this morning. Are we going to hang out by the pool today?

View of the ocean in the background

P- Yes, and I'm not climbing up and down these 82 stairs very many times, so let's get everything we need for the pool and we'll go straight there after breakfast.

G- Sounds like a good plan. You hang the clothes line on the balcony and I'll rinse and wring out the clothes.

After we had hung our laundry to dry, we went back down the mountain on the 82 steps and into the dining area. All areas are open to the outdoors, so the sugar bowls on the tables sit in a saucer of water to keep the ants out, and just like in Nola, the salt is clumped due to the humidity. The hotel had a very nice Indonesian breakfast spread, but it was weird breakfast food by western standards: a vegetable that resembled merliton sauteed with onions, a very spicy crab in tomato sauce dish, a rice dish and a noodle dish. We tasted everything and I ate a good portion of the merliton. We also had watermelon juice, which is not as sweet as one would expect. We spoke to a pretty Lombokian girl who told us that it was getting hotter than it use to be on Lombok; “global warming” she said. It was very hot on Lombok, and we were very thankful for the pool.

G- When you go to the bathroom, don't freak out, but look up.

Sangiggi Beach

P- Why? What's there?

G- A very, very large lizard. I can't tell if it's a gecko or another kind of lizard, but it's about a foot long.

P- Why'd you tell me that? Now I'm never going to be able to go to the bathroom.

G- It did not budge the whole time I was in there. I just didn't want you to freak out when you saw it.

P- Great!

G- It sure is nice to have Wifi again. I missed it very much.

view from restaurant

We went out for a late lunch/early dinner and ate delicious seafood pasta on the beach. Reading menus has proven to be a very comical past time due to misspellings and food descriptions that make no sense. (What is beef bacon or sea pood pizza? How yummy must Fujiama Chicken be if it is “served with good tasted sauce and mashede potatos”?) Typically we try not to make eye contact with hawkers while we are eating dinner, but Phyl has been so hot in her wicking shirts that she finally bought something from a hawker........2 sleeveless Lombok shirts. It hardly matters if we're wearing tourist clothes because we stand out as tourists no matter what we're wearing.

P- You suck at negotiating.
G- I know.  I agree on a price too quickly.
P- I could have gotten him lower.
G- I know, but I just feel bad for the poor people trying to feed their families.  It's not a game to them. And now is the low season & there aren't many tourists in the area. The price we agreed on is cheap for us.
P- I agree with all of that, but remember...the less we spend, the longer we get to travel!  Every penny adds up, so from now on, I do the haggling!
G- I just can't forget that they're not traveling, they're trying to survive.

We walked on the black sand beach, past the colorful boats and the little Balinese kids swimming naked, and enjoyed the sound of the surf. Back at the hotel we began our nightly showers to wash off suntan lotion, sweat, and bug spray.

P- Will you bring in the laundry while I take a shower? It should be dry by now.

G- No problem.



Long boats on Sangiggi

 Unlike Ubud where it took 2 days for our clothes to semi dry, everything was dry. I folded the clothes, took down the clothes line and was gathering the last items when a large gecko (about 8” long) jumped off the wall after a big green praying manthis looking thing (about 4” long) which landed on my arm.

G- Augh!!!!!!!!!! (When I jerked my arm, the manthis landed just inside the door.)

P- (Yelling from the shower) What's wrong?

G- Shit! A giant bug jumped on me and now it's in the room.

P- Get it out! What is it?

G- I'm not sure. Ugh!! How am I gonna get it out? (I threw a towel over it, scooped it up, and threw the towel on the floor of the balcony.) Yay! I got it out.

G- Arrrrrgh! (I jumped back, flailing my arm and dropping my laundry.)

P- What's happening now Agnes?

G- For gawd sake!! I can't find the manthis, so I'm just going to leave the towel on the ground, but I picked up your bathing suit on my way in and that damn gecko jumped onto my arm. I'm being attacked by freakin wild kingdom!!!! Whah! I don't want all of these critters touching me!!

P- Better you than me. Get in here and close the door.

Clean and smelling good for a change, we lay on the bed enjoying the cool of the a/c.

G- My throat is really killing me. Where did you put the cough drops?

P- Here, I put them in the bag with the other drugs.

G- Damn! They've melted and the paper is stuck to them. Ugh!!!! Whah!

P – Why are you whining?

G- There are dead ants stuck to my couch drops and these are the only ones I have and my throat hurts. Whah!

P- I told you to put them in a baggie when we were in Ubud.

G- I kept moving them! I'm unaccustomed to having my abode open to the outdoors. Damn ants! Screw it! I need these cough drops. Whah! I'll just pick off the ants and suck it anyway.

P- Oh, Agnes. I may have to kill you.

G- Whah! Yes, please do.

The African Queen

Our shuttle driver arrived at 8:30am and parked at the bottom of the hill even though we, and all of our stuff, were at the top of the hill. He was in a long van with many seats and took our backpacks and crammed them into a small space between the last space and the back door.

P- Did our packs fit in that small space.

G- He squished them in.

P- I wonder how many people we're picking up.

Not far down the main street we turned up a side street and picked up a couple from Canada. The driver smashed their packs in the back too. After driving for another 15 minutes, it became apparent that we were not picking up anyone else.

P- Why in the hell did he not lay down that backseat so our packs could fit in without being smashed?

G- I don't know, but he definitely is not the sharpest tool in the shed. All of the drivers we've had have been totally on the ball, but this guy is lacking.

We chatted with the Canadian couple, gave them warung recommendations and told them about the fabulous snorkeling at Bunutan Beach. We were dropped off at a tour office near the ferry, given a receipt to show the driver in Lombok, and told to follow a guy to the ferry.

P- Where's the guy we're supposed to follow?

G- I don't know. He jumped on his moped and sped off. What the hell?

P- How are we supposed to keep up with him? Can't he see we look like pack mules?

G- Let's just walk toward the ferry.

Fortunately, the guy on the moped returned quickly with 2 ferry tickets. We continued to the ferry, then climbed to the 3rd level as we declined offers to purchase water, rice wrapped in banana leaves, pineapples and bananas.

P- Dear God! I can't believe we had to walk all the way around carrying our shit. Why didn't the guy just drop us off near the ferry?

G- Well, because we had to get the paper from the guy over there, of course. I guess the Balinese don't consider that a far way to walk.

P- And going up all those stairs after our climb from hell yesterday. My legs may never forgive me.

G- Nothing like dripping in sweat first thing in the morning. Our asses and hamstrings are going to be so tight after this trip!!!

P- If we make it to the end of the trip.

We sat under an overhang, to protect ourselves from the sun, on the side of the ferry so we could get the breeze. There was an inside area, but it had no air con and didn't get much breeze. The views were beautiful as we pulled away from Bali, and the water got bluer and bluer the further we went. It was almost a royal blue and reminded us of the water around Greece.

G- Ok, I've got to go to the bathroom.

P- I'm afraid of the bathrooms on this ferry. I doubt they're western toilets.

G- No, I totally expect squat toilets. I'm taking pinky and the toilet paper.

P- Good luck with pinky.

I returned and did a triumphant jig!!!

P- Was it ok?

G- Yep. And no problem using pinky. It's amzingly easy to use when I'm not standing on the back of a boat being heckled and ridiculed. There is no garbage can in the bathroom for your toilet paper, but there is one just outside the door.

P- Good baby, I'm proud of you.

G- You need to go?

P- No, I'll wait. I don't want to use a squat toilet.

G- You're gonna have to use it before we get off this ferry because we don't know how long the ride from the ferry to Sangiggi Beach is going to be and we still have to find a place to stay.

P- Oh, you're right, but I'm going to wait as long as I can.

We had a few items of clothes we had washed but that had not dried in the drenched environment of Ubud, so we followed the crewmembers' lead and hung our clothes on the ferry's railings. We ate a lunch of peanut butter on bread and some fruit we had collected from breakfast. We motored through a patch of garbage; a disgusting contrast from the beautiful blue water. Overall, the 4 hour trip passed fairly quickly.

As the ferry landed, the locals poured from the interior. We were shocked to see several people in coats, long pants, and sweaters.

P- Are those people crazy? I'm about to drop from heat exhaustion and that guy is wearing a leather jacket!!!!

G- I have no explanation. It's their winter, but it's hot as hell. Remember Connor told us he saw a lot of people in Chiang Mai wearing coats when it was warm?

P- I can't understand why they don't pass out.

G- Look at that little kid in the thick socks, long pants, sweatshirt and the mullet!!!! Sweet Jesus!! We're on the other side of the world and here, at Lombok, is a kid with a mullet.

P- You have to blame his stupid parents because he's only about 2.

G- Mullets are global. Who would have known?

P-Yes, bad taste is universal.

The second we docked the ferry was swarmed by people collecting used water bottles and cans, presumably for recycling money, and hawkers trying to sell us more crap, fruit and water. Other travelers had told us war stories of paying for transport but not being met at the other side, so we were a little apprehensive, but as we exited we saw our driver holding the ticket that matched ours. Our transport was a van, circa 1981, with a hodge podge of seat covers; but the driver was friendly, even though he spoke almost no English, he smiled a lot. Because the traffic was so much less than on Bali, we were able to travel at a good speed and there was a warm breeze coming through the open windows.

We knew Lombok is mostly Muslim, compared to Bali which is mostly Hindu, but we were surprised by the number of Mosques we saw as we drove north to Sangiggi Beach on the west side of Lombok. The fields had rice growing, but also corn, and for the first time we saw roadside stands selling potatoes. Also, we passed many “taxis” being pulled by small horses. Because we had no accomodations, our driver took us to the tourist office. Tourists offices in this area of the world are not run by the city or county, but are as plentiful as fleas on a junkyard dog because they are basically just little booths, run by a local with a connection to a few hotels or van drivers. We negotiated a deal with the “tourist office” manager for a hotel we had seen on line, and were wisked away to the Puri Bunga Cottages. After checking in at the front desk, we were instructed to follow a tiny guy who carried my pack on his back and Phyl's on his front. He walked us past the pool, large and very nice, and began climbing steps, headed through the beautiful landscaping, up the side of the mountain.

P- I hope we don't have to climb too many steps. My legs and ass are still killing me from the rafting climb yesterday.

G- I don't think there are many people here, so I can't imagine we'd have to go too far up the mountain.

Frodo made the corner and headed up yet another flight of steps. He was climbing the steps, with both packs on his back as fast as a squirrel runs up a tree. We were laboring up each step, dripping sweat and murmmering curses.

P- Oh my gawd!!! How much further is he going? I don't think I can make it.

G- Just concentrate on climbing the steps and stop talking.

P- Where'd he go? I can't even see him?

G- I can still see him. He just stopped at the top of the next flight of steps and turned left. One more flight and we'll be good.

P- There is no way these rooms are filled, why did that bitch put us so high up.

G- I don't know. Maybe she thought she was doing us a favor by giving us a good view.

P- Screw the view!! My legs are killing me.

G- (as I reached the landing and made the turn, I saw more steps ahead) Holy shit!

P- Don't tell me there are more steps!

G- Just keep climbing, Gladys. I can see Frodo and he has stopped and is opening our door.

P- I hope they have room service because once I get up there, I'm not going to be able to get back down.

As we entered the very large room, gasping for air and drenched in sweat, Frodo was trying to get the air con to come on. I opened the doors to the balcony to let in the breeze and was pleasantly surprised at the beautiful view.

G- Come see the beautiful view.

P- We should be able to see China after climbing all those steps. It doesn't look like he can get the a/c to work. If that a/c doesn't work after I've climbed all the way up here, I'm gonna kill someone.

G- You couldn't even catch someone in order to kill them. They're like little billy goats around here.  Besides, Frodo is so sweet, you leave him alone.

Grab a cold water out of the mini fridge and come out and see the view.

P- Yes, the view is nice. The a/c seems to be working and Frodo has left. Let's put on our bathing suits and go get into the pool.

G- Good idea.

It felt so good to jump into that swimming pool! We had been suffering in the heat since we left Legian Beach, and it was nice to have a pool to cool off in again. We swam for a while, then hauled our asses back up the steps. This time, Phyl counted them....................82 steps!!!! We turned the air con to high, showered, watched a beautiful sunset from our patio, treked back down the steps (which is really worse for Phyl's bad knee than going up) and ate dinner at the restaurant across the street. When we returned to the room, it was cool.

P- Since we have a bathtub, we have to do laundry. Our shirts still smell even though I washed them in Ubud.

G- They need to soak for a while. Fill up the tub and add the detergent we bought and that packet of shampoo.

P- It says it's antidandruff shampoo, but it smells good.

G- Great. We won't have to worry about dandruff on our body hairs. I just want my clothes to smell better. I'm tired of smelling like a mildewed goat.

P- Well, I washed them as best I could in that little sink, and they just didn't dry well because it was so damn humid.

G- I'm not blaming you, I'm just not accustomed to smelling bad.

We filled the tub with hot water and aggitated the clothese with our feet as we sat on the side of the tub.

G- When we get back home, if I hear one person complain about doing their laundry in a washing machine............ which basically only requires you to put the clothes in, put in detergent, and turn it on............I'm gonna smack them in the head.

P- You go right ahead. I'll help you.

We left the clothes soaking overnight, climbed into the king size bed, under the a/c, did not pull a mosquito net around, and fell asleep in heaven!



the view from our balcony



Damn Ants

We returned from our river rafting trip, took a cool shower, and dressed.

G-Damn it to hell!!!

P- What's wrong?

G- The freakin ants are in my bag again!! Every day I move my bag and every day I come home to find a stream of tiny ants running to my bag and all inside my bag.

P- What's in the bag? Is there food?

G- There's no food in it.

I took everything out of the bag and turned it inside out and shook it out on the porch. Then I opened my little cosmetic bag that contained some meds, and 4 cough drops, and found hundreds of ants in it. I took everything out of that bag and shook it out on the porch.

P- Don't shake all the ants on the porch!

G- What the hell difference does it make? They're all over the floor in the room. Just step on them.

P- It's the damn cough drops bringing the ants because they're not sealed. Didn't I tell you that yesterday?

G- Well I moved the bag from the floor to the chair. Where am I going to put the cough drops to keep them safe? The whole room is open to wild kingdom!!

P- Put them in a ziploc bag. They need to be in something sealed!

G- I should just throw them away because they've also melted a little, but they are the only 4 cough drops I have and what if I need them.

P- I'll put them in the bag with the medicine bottles.

G- Ugh!!

We headed back to Starbucks to use the internet because we were headed to Lombok (an island off the coast of Bali) and still did not have a place to stay. Many people simply arrive at their destinations and then look for a place to stay, but we find that method stressful. Unfortunately, after searching for hours, we didn't find a place we wanted to book. We did stop at a tour booking business and booked a shuttle from our hotel to Lombok, via the slow ferry, for 130,000 rph/each (about $13.50).

Bo and Laurie met us and we went back to Dewa Warang, that Michael had recommended, for more Cashew Ginger Chicken. We met 2 guys from Holland who would be in Chaing Mai, Thailand in January, so we exchanged information because we'll probably also be there in January and will try to hook up for a drink.

On our way back to the homestay, we continued to use the words that Michael had taught us to stave off the hawkers. I cannot overstate how much these hawkers harass and aggravate. It is not possible to pass a single person on the street, even if they're on the other side of the street, without them asking you if you want a taxi, a moped ride, to buy a sarong or other item, to see a Balinese dance, or to eat at their restaurant. Most of the walk to or from your homestay is filled with telling people 'no, thank you'.

It is positively exhausting. Michael taught us to say sudah sudah(sue-dah') which means already did that or already have that. It is helpful because once you say sudah sudah, they generally don't ask again. To those asking if you want a taxi or moped, you say jalan, jalan which means walking, walking. I have no idea why, and no one can seem to tell me, but they tend to say everything twice..........sudah, suday or jalan, jalan or makan, makan (eat, eat). So far we have smiled and politely said no thank you, because we know the poor people are just trying to make a living and tourists are seen as walking wallets, but we are about over it!

We took another cool shower, opened the windows, pulled the mosquito net and went to sleep. Travel days are exhausting and our shuttle driver was supposed to pick us up at 8:15am.

Boom, Boom

Phyl has had white water rafting on her bucket list for many, many years. I, however, have been a little afraid ever since Phyl's mom told us of her experience. She was sitting in the front of the raft and flew all the way to the back. Based on a weight differential, I concluded that had I been in the same seat as her, I would have flown out of the raft. Drowning is very low on my list of things to do, thus my anxiety over white water rafting. We checked into doing it in Oregon, but drowning in below 50 degree water is even lower on my list of things to do. That being said, my girl wants to white water raft, coupled with my sense of adventure, and a rafting we will go.

Maday, owner of our homestay, hooked us up with his friend's rafting company (everyone is a travel agent in Bali) and worked out all of the specifics for us. We paid about $40.00 for transport to and from the river, the guided trip and lunch. An awesome deal by western standards. We were picked up at 9:00 am and taken, by van, about 30 minutes to the river. We arrived at the staging area, put on suntan lotion, stripped down to our bathing suits, put all of our belongings into a water proof bag, were fitted for life vests and helmets, and given our paddles.

(Nyoman) Guy who fitted us with life jackets- (Looks at Phyl's chest, selects a vest, & helps her put it on. As he's trying to clip it....................)

P- Um, Nyoman, it's not going to clip. We need a bigger one.

Nyoman – Yes. (giggles and selects another)

P- Nope. Not this one either, I will need to see over my boobs.

Nyoman – (more giggling) Must fit tight.

P- Nyoman, I know it must be snug, but I have to be able to breath. Find one that won't cut off my oxygen.

Nyoman – Selects a new one, puts it on and clips it. Ah ha! (waives hands in the air triumphantly) Then he grabs a helmet.

P- Way too big.

Nyoman – You have small head.

P- Yes, Nyoman. Big boobs, tiny hands and feet and small head. I'm a freak.

Nyoman (smiles and selects a helmet that fits)

Then he turns to me. Mind you, I have not said a word this whole time. He looks at my chest.........and selects a small vest.

G- Make sure mine is tight, Nyoman. If I fly out of this raft, I want to make sure my life vest goes with me.

Nyoman- Yes, yes. We find one that fit. (he clips mine and pulls the straps as tight as they will go.) Too big.

G- How about the child's size. That's the one I usually wear.

P- You used to wear a child's, but I don't know about now. Since you have gained a few pounds, you now have the arms and chest of a linebacker. At least that's what your mom seems to think. Give her the Dora the Explorer vest. That should work.

G- Shut the hell up Miss big tits and little head.

P- Hahahahahahah!

Nyoman – Yes. This one fit you.

G- Yes, this one is good. Make sure it's tight!



Young Wayan

 Nyoman – You have bigger head. Try this helmet.

P- In America we call it a fat head.

G- Keep it up, bitch and I'll take your picture and post it all over Facecrack! This one is fine. Shouldn't the chin strap be tighter?

After snapping a few, very attractive, photos.........................

Nyoman – You follow Wayan to river. He your guide.

P- (to me) I wonder how far we walk to get to the river.

G- I don't know, but I'm glad we wore our Keens and not our flip flops.

P- I'm hot as shit in this get up.

G- But you sure do look sexy.

P- Oh, I'm sure that's the case.

We walked about 100 yards, through rice fields and into a dense rainforest. We were drenched in sweat before we even reached the stairs. When I say stairs, I use the term VERY loosely. The stairs were basically hewn out of the mountain that we were about to climb down. They were made with rocks, stones, boulders and no 2 were the same size. One step may have been 8” and the next 18”, with the latter being the norm. In addition to our guide, Wayan, (about my age) we were accompanied by young Wayan (27 yrs old but he looked 16) who was training to be a rafting guide. Young Wayan started at the back of the line but quickly scampered around, frustrated over our slow pace. Several times we caught him laughing at us as we plodded down the “stairs”.

G- I sure wish I knew we were going on a hike before rafting. I wouldn't have taken off my shorts and I would've put on mosquito spray.


P- It's not going to matter if every malaria ridden mosquito in Bali bites me because I'm either gonna die from a heart attack or fall down these stairs to my death first.

G- Really baby, are you ok? I feel like I'm about to drop so I know you're dying. Wayan, let me get some water out of my bag.

Wayan – Yes. Drink water. No hurry. Go slow.

P- Slow! If I go any slower, we won't be moving at all. How many steps are there before we reach the river?

Wayan – 400 steps down.

P- 400!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding? How many steps have we gone down already?

Wayan – Maybe 80.

P- Oh my gawd!!!

G- (thinking.............oh, shit! We're in trouble! Sweat ran down my arm and dripped off my elbow.)

Phyl already has a bad knee, most of the steps were about 18” high, and needless to say, there was no railing, so every step had to be taken one at a time and very carefully. Even I was taking each step one at a time because they were so uneven & slippery.

G- Phyl, use your paddle like a cane to brace yourself as you take each step. How is your knee?

P- I'm sweating my ass off, but my knee is ok if I go slow. Wayan, how many more steps do we have?

Wayan – Maybe we half way.

P- Half way? Argh!!!! Sweet Jesus, I hope the river doesn't dry up before we get there.

G- Here, hold my hand so you don't fall. Really, I feel like I'm going to faint from the heat. Your face is so red. You should take off your life vest. (I helped her out of her vest and Wayan took it. Now she's climbing down the mountain in her bathing suit and helmet, using a paddle for a cane.)

P- I don't want to hold on to you. I don't want you to fall if I do. In fact, you should be behind me because if I fall, I'm rolling down this mountain and I'm taking you with me.

G- Take another break and drink some more water. (I also took out the camera.)

P- You take my picture and I'll break that camera.

G- Baby, when it's over, you'll look back on this and laugh.

P- I might not live to see that happen.

G- Well, if you fall over with a heart attack here, you're dying because there is no way anyone could get to you or get you out of here before you died.

P- Well that's comforting.

With 100 steps to go.................

G- How are you doing?

P- The muscles in my legs are shaking. Wayan, has anyone died before reaching the river? I'm going to be some pissed if I die before getting to raft down this river.

Wayan – (laughing) Go slow. No one die. You ok?

G- If it's any consolation, my legs are shaking too. These steps are unbelievable!!!! Listen, I can hear moving water.

P- Thank you Jesus!!



Older Wayan

 G- Really, they should warn people about this 400 step hike down to the river. No disclaimers in Bali.

We finally arrived at the river. Young Wayan had been there for quite some time and was resting in the raft. We jumped into the water to cool off and bring our body temps below 100 degrees. Old Wayan then positioned us in the raft. I was in the front on the right with young Wayan sitting on my left. Phyl was sitting in the middle seat on the left, and old Wayan sat in the back on the right. Then he gave us instructions, which we repeated several times because we had trouble understanding what the hell he was saying and we wanted to be sure we followed the instructions.

Wayan- (In a very thick Balinese accent) When I say “boom, boom” you go on floor in front of you.

G – Wait!! Why would you say “boom, boom”? What would be the reason for that?

Wayan – Maybe we crash into big rock.

G- (looking at Phyllis with crinkled brows) Let's try to avoid crashing into big rocks, ok? And make sure you say “boom, boom” very loudly!!

Wayan – Ok. Listen for instructions. The river ok. Only 1 big drop.

G- How big?

P- You ok, Gi?

Wayan – When I say “sit secure” you push foot under side of raft.

G- My foot is going to be stuck under there the whole time.

P- Relax, Gi. You'll be fine. Having tourists drown would be bad for business.

We pushed off from the shore and hadn't gone 30 yards when Wayan crashed us into a rock and yelled “boom, boom”. I dropped to the floor behind me, Phyl jumped to the floor, as instructed, and crashed into me. The Wayans laughed their asses off.

G- (grumbling under my breath) Very funny, mofo! You won't think it's so funny when I shit in your raft.

P- Really, Gi, that was funny. Please remember to go forward when he yells “boom, boom”.

G- I'm trying to remember all of the instructions, and I can barely understand what he's saying when he does say something. You're closer to him, when he says something, say it to me.

P- Ok, we'll get it. We just got started.

Our river trip was awesome!! After a while I relaxed, we got use to deciphering Wayan's instructions, and before long, we looked like we knew what we were doing. After an hour, we didn't even drop to the floor when Wayan yelled “boom, boom”. At times old Wayan would switch places with young Wayan and he would, very politely, call out the instructions. Several times he said the wrong thing and we crashed into the side of the river or go the wrong route through a rapid. We saw monitor lizards sunning themselves on rocks. We saw waterfalls and even rowed under one of them. We passed an old man naked and bathing in the river, and a work crew of younger men, stripped down to their underwear, cooling themselves in the river. They stared at us as we passed and we commented on the way they were unphased by the fact that they were in their underwear. We enjoyed the rapids and the cool water after the long hike. We saw so much flora and several very colorful birds. I was hoping to see one of those bright green, poisonous snakes in the tree, but we never saw one. Overall, we had a great time.

After about 2.5 hours, we arrived at our end and climbed a few steps to a structure where we had a shower and lunch. As we ate lunch, we watched an older Balinese woman carry our deflated raft, on her head, back up the mountain.  Her husband followed behind carrying the paddles, helmets and life jackets.  What the hell? Then we began the 200 stair climb back to the road. 10 steps into the climb, the sky opened and the rain began pouring.

P- Ugh!!! My legs had just started feeling better.

G- Asia diet. Asia diet. Asian stairmaster day.

P- At least the rain is keeping us cool.

Wayan pulled banana leaves off a tree to use as umbrellas, and a large group of Chinese tourists passed us on the path up. We finally reached the top and were exceptionally happy to see our van waiting for us. We happily sat back as we were driven back to our homestay.

P- The trek down to and back up from the river was horribly grueling, but I'd do it again tomorrow to go rafting again. Although I'm sure I won't be able to move tomorrow.

G- You need to stretch when we get back.

P- What I need is a massage.  Where is JoAnn?  Whah!

G- No whining, Gladys!

That Gives Me a Headache

It's not uncommon to see Balinese women carrying things on their heads, usually baskets filled with various things. The balance that must be required to do this is incomprehensible to me. One day we came up the hill and noticed that a pile of cinder blocks, maybe half the heighth but the same length as ours back home, had been delivered and placed on the side of the road. As we passed the pile, we observed about 4 women stacking 3 cinder blocks each, on their heads, on top of a cloth. They helped each other stack the blocks, then the last woman placed a 4th block on her head and stood. They walked, perfectly erect, down the path toward our Homestay. Just before our Homestay, they went up a ramp across the stream, and climbed steps to the top of the hill, then walked back another 25-30 yards to the construction site where they unloaded their blocks.


P- Oh my gawd! Are you seeing this?

G- Um, yes. It is unbelievable.

P- Get the camera and take some pictures. Hurry up, they're already on the path.

G- Geez! How'd they walk so quickly with the damn cinder blocks on their heads? (I had to run a bit just to get close enough to take a photo)

P- Did you get it.

G- Yes, but those bitches are fast!

P- Can you imagine how strong their neck muscles must be?

G- Can you imagine the bulging and herniated discs they must have? They'd be a plaintiff attorney's wet dream!

P- How old do you think they are?

G- They didn't look young, but I'm sure the poor things are younger than they look. This kind of work must seriously age you. They're carrying them to the house under construction across the rice field from us.

P- It's amazing how things get done here.

G- Yes. Man, rather, woman power. In the west it would take 5 times as long to get the bricks to the construction site because a big crane would have to be brought in or a new road built or some way for a machine to be used to move them. Here, 4 women stack the damn things on their heads and walk them back.

P- It sure is efficient.

G- Yes, but it sucks for the women.

P- It gives me a headache just looking at them.

After talking to Maday, he told us that they probably make 1,000 rupiah per brick that they carry. (5,000 rupiah is about 56 cents USD) They had the whole stack of cinder blocks move within a day. Maday told us that he brought back all of the cinder blocks needed to build his home and the bungalows, but he used a wheel barrow. The wheel barrow would only work to the bottom of the stairs, then they had to be carried up the 20 or so steps of varying heights.

Snorkeling in an Aquarium

Laurie & Bo had rented a car and invited us to go with them up the east coast of Bali to Amed. Michael had told us about a great snorkeling spot just south of Amed at Bunutan Beach. We got up early (6:00 am), big surprise, ate breakfast and handled bathroom issues before leaving in their Suzuki Sidekick.


G- We swore we'd never get into a Suzuki Sidekick again after that 3 hour drive from hell into the rainforest of Belize, but here we are.



Bo & Laurie


P- I know. After that ride my heart was where my liver was supposed to be and my kidneys were in my throat. Basically all of my organs felt like they had been put into a bingo ball dispenser and tossed around.

G- Yep. I'll never forget the “shaken adult syndrome” we got on that road.

Phyl & I sat in the small, questionably secured, backseat with Bo driving and Laurie riding shotgun. Laurie kept insisting that she'd get in the back and Phyl should get in the front, but after we had ridden back with them from dinner one night, Phyl never wanted to ride shotgun again. Driving, and riding, in Bali is terrifying. Almost all roads are 2 lanes, one in either direction, and as they drive, all cars play a game of leapfrog to get ahead. Added to the mix are the mopeds that are always zooming around. It is common to pass around turns or even if there is a truck coming at you head on. Balinese driving brings the game of chicken to a whole new level.

Also, the driver sits on the right side of the car, so Bo must shift with his left hand and remember to stay on the left side of the road. The combination of issues makes the rider feel she has been on Pontchartrain Beach's Wild Mouse. We were terrified and white knuckled for the first half of the 3 hour drive, but then we became desensitized and just rode as if we were on a Sunday drive. At least most of the roads were better than those in Lakeview.

Our drive took us past beautiful rice field terraced hills, into the mountains,and around the volcano. Upon arrival in Bunutan, we extricated ourselves from the tuna can, regained the feeling in our bodies, and located snorkeling gear to rent. When we returned from the rental shop, Laurie was beside the car surrounded by about 6 little girls trying to sell her trinkets and asking her for pens. We then searched the road for the Ayurveda Restaurant because Michael told us to snorkel direction behind it. As beautiful as the Legian beach is, the Bunutan beach is covered in fairly large lava rocks. We stumbled over the rocks and could barely put on our fins and masks before we reached the edge of the reef just 10' offshore.

What we saw took our breath away. Neither Phyl nor I have ever seen such an amazing reef!! Every color and shape of coral was just beneath us: fan coral, brain coral, staghorn, elkhorn, one that looked like tiny little rose buds, cabbages, and large flat ones. The colors were lime green, seafoam green, periwinkle blue, light blue, pink, yellow, purple, orange; basically every pretty color in the big 64 Crayola pack. The fish were plentiful and varied in color as much as the coral. They came in all sizes and shapes. We even saw parrot fish, a trumpet fish and angle fish. The fish were also in an amazing variety of colors, especially neons. Numerous times were were surround by schools of a certain variety. It was like swimming in a salt water aquarium and it was amazing!!!!!!! Even Bo & Laurie, experienced divers, were very impressed with this reef.

After the reef we drove north of Amed to swim over the Liberty Ship wreckage. Unfortunately, visibility was low and it was a place requiring diving, not snorkeling. We then ate lunch and got back into the wild mouse for the ride home.

G- You know, Bo, I'm not even afraid anymore.

Laurie – I still get scared when we're passing and moving head on at a truck.

P- Bo, I think you actually love driving here. It appeals to your wild driver side.

Bo – I do love it. Even though it looks like chaos, there is an order to it. The passers know that if they can't make it around in time, the car headed at them will slow down and give them time.

P- I can't say that I've seen an accident.

G- I see you've been trying to pass that damn green van for a while now, but he seems to be keeping you from doing so. (No sooner had I said this than the paved road dropped to a gravel road and Bo floored it when the green van had so slow down.) Ha! Take that, you bastard! (Bo was pleased with himself)

P- Oh God! I think Gina would love to drive here now that she's gotten over the fear.

G- I think it could be fun.

P- Not for me as your passenger.

G- You've let me drive all over Europe.

P- You were on the American side of the road and driver's seat was on the left. Also, they don't play leapfrog like they do here.

We finally returned to our Homestay sunburned, sweaty & exhausted. We took cold showers and went off for dinner.

G- (After we had climbed back into the tin can) Did you see the naked lady bathing in the stream/ditch?

P- Yes, I sure did. It's so bizarre to see such a thing.

Bo – Bathing for temple tomorrow.

G- Well, she was behind some high grass and it is beginning to get dark. I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.

P- If we didn't have that shower, I'd have gotten into the ditch before now. Of course, I would've kept my clothes on.

G- Don't throw stones, Gladys. You have been known to strip off your clothes at many a water's edge.

P- Shut up!

We ate a yummy dinner at Naughty Nuri's, a place where we could get a grilled hamburger, a rarity in Bali. However, keeping with the Balinese tradition of no air con, we sweated profusely throughout dinner. Upon our return to the Homestay we took yet another cool shower.

G- I have never showered so frequently, yet remained so stinky. I feel like I always smell of b.o.

P- I'm going to do laundry tomorrow.

G- Good. All of my shirts need to be soaked. They may never come clean. And even though we're washing our underwear every night when we take our showers, they could probably use a good soaking too. You gonna go stand in the ditch at the concrete slab for clothes washing?

P- Uh, no...I thought I'd just do it here in the sink with the soap we bought.

G- I don't know, seems like since we're in Bali you should wash like the Balinese.

P- OK, then maybe you should do the laundry.

We surrounded ourselves with our mosquito net and seeing as we'd been up since 6 am, we were asleep by 9:30pm.