Gusti Bad Man

We really liked Ubud and wished that we had stayed there longer, but we were so ready to leave after the 5 days of heat exhaustion that, at the time, we couldn't even entertain the possibility. There were a few things that we still wanted to see in the area, (for which we needed transportation)so we arranged for Made (Maday) to take us back to Ubud for the day. We left at 9 AM. Our first stop was just south of Ubud in the stone carvers area. Made had said for us to just yell stop when we wanted to stop, and true to his word, the minuted I yelled stop, he did; right in the lane of travel. Apparently it's fine to stop whenever you wanted, as long as you pulled over to the left as far as possible. It sure does make things easy, unless you're the person driving behind us.


P- Gi, look at the guy up there. He's carving limestone into flowers.

G- That's cool. And look at the tools. Just like the wood carvers, he's just using metal pieces, I guess they're chisels, and a malot.

P- He said the black ones are carved from lava.

G- They're very pretty. Look. A butterfly just landed on my shoulder. You think it's a good omen?

P- I know it's a hell of a lot better than a bird shitting on your shoulder.

G- Such sage words, Gladys.

We watched the man chisel his limestone for a while, walked around the yard looking at the beautiful pieces, all of which were too heavy to carry home, and got back into the van.

Next we stopped at a batik shop. We watched ladies, and some men, sitting around a little fire, with a little pot of melted wax on top, drawing designs, on fabric, with wax. They dip a little instrument that looks like a measuring scoop with the world's tiniest funnel on the end, into wax, then tap the tiny funnel end (maybe it looks like a tiny humming bird beak) onto the fabric to apply the wax. Then the fabric is dyed and the designs are painted in. They make everything from shirts to sarongs to dresses to silk ties and scarves. It is very pretty. You can tell if a fabric is true Batik because the color & design is the same on both sides of the fabric. A design that is pressed onto a fabric is lighter on one side than the other. In addition to the batikers, there were several women weaving with large looms.

After the batik shop we stopped at a wood carving shop. Our guide explained that the men (we have only seen men carving the wood and women sanding and polishing) learn wood carving from their fathers and begin at an early age. Of course, the same techniques are applied here as at the other wood carving shop we visited............ larger chisels for the initial carve, gradually becoming smaller for the fine cuts..............the piece is held with the legs and feet.........the carvers are sitting on the floor with their metal files next to them on an old cloth............no doubt with rampant backache. We were looking for something similar to the eucalyptus Buddha on a lotus leaf statue we had seen at the prior place, but we could never find one. We ended up purchasing a Hindu Goddess bust carved from Mahogany. Our guide wrapped it very securely for shipping.

Our next stop was Goa Gajah (Elephant Cave), carved out of a mountain in the 11th Century. It is believed, based on a 14th century Javanese poem, to have been the dwelling of a Buddhist priest. The ouside of the cave is carved with crazy faces of animals with an elephant head right above the entrance.

P- The priest supposedly slept in one of those 2 carved out areas near the front of the cave.

G- Ugh! Looks terribly uncomfortable. I hope he put down a layer of palm leaves first.

P- And how tiny must he have been? I'm too tall to lye down in them. And he supposedly meditated in the smaller carved out areas in the back.

G- Gawd, the smell of incense is killing me. Not much to the inside of this cave, but I can see why it would make a great dwelling.

The cave is in a valley, to the left. In front of the cave is a rectangle (about 40' by 20') carved into the earth, with 6 goddess statues pouring water from vessels into ponds of ???? holy water. Even further to the right were several flights of stairs, leading down to a stream, in a lush, green rainforest. Near a waterfall was a fallen statue of Buddah. I was guided around the fallen Buddah by a little old man.

G- How cute is he? He's so spry for as old as he is.

P- I was having trouble getting past the teeth that were the color of yellow corn.

G- Yes, they were terrible. He told me that an earthquake felled the Buddah statue in 1917.

P- I can't make it down by the waterfall. The rocks are too steep for my knee, but grandpa sure did scamper down there with no trouble. Could you see the statue?

G- Well, the large bolders are the statue, but I couldn't make out very much of it due to the moss.

P- Look at that huge banyan tree!

G- The roots system is incredible!! And look at that lizard eating the offering.

P- What's it's eating?

G- Fruit and I think some rice.

P- It's good to be a lizard or a bug around here. You're well fed by the daily offerings.

G- Look at that lotus pond. What an idyllic little setting. I see why the Buddhist priest lived here.

Sweaty and tired from climbing all of those steps, we climbed back into the air-conditioned van and drank some water as Made began driving us to the Monkey Forest.

G- Made, please tell Phyllis she doesn't have to be afraid of the monkeys.

Made – No. They ok. Just take off earrings, shiny jewelry, and sunglasses.

P- You should put the cameras in your bag.

G- Gladys, I am not walking through the Monkey Forest without my camera. I'll keep the black one out and hide the silver one. Ok?

P- Ok, but if the monkeys snatch your camera, you're gonna have a stroke.

Made – You be ok.

G- We'll be fine, Gladys. Calm your nerves.

We entered the forest and hadn't gone 30' down the path when we encountered several monkeys and heard a big ruckus in the trees. I looked back at Phyl and she looked a little freaked out, but so far she hadn't run..

G- Look at these monkeys. They're only mildly interested in us. They show no signs of attacking.

P- I don't like the noise the others are making in the trees.

G- They're way up there and they seem to be fighting amoungst themselves. While their attention is diverted, we'll just walk along quietly. Let me take your picture. Stand still.

We walked through the forest and saw hundreds of monkeys sitting, eating bugs off of each other, swimming, running and eating. We saw many mommy monkeys with tiny little babies clinging to their bellies. Of course, the little babies were the cutest. We stood next to a European family as they watched a group of monkeys playing in a tree. The daughter, maybe age 11, was so excited to see a juevenile, but she hadn't noticed the babies. I tapped the mom on her shoulder to point out the babies, and the woman nearly jumped out of her skn. Monkey Forest rule #1 don't feed the monkeys unless you want more attention than you've bargained for, and rule #2 don't touch anyone because it scares the shit out of them. Phyl & I walked off laughing. We saw the cremation area, the cemetary, and the temple, then headed back to find Made.

We had told Made that we just wanted something cheap and quick for lunch. He said he'd take us to a place with a nice view. The restaurant's entrance should have told us that this was not what we were looking for, but we were quite captivated by the view which included a deep, lush ravine with a river at the bottom. It stretched as far as the eye could see in either direction. We were seated and given menus. After reviewing the menus, we quickly decided that the restaurant was too expensive for a quick lunch.

G- I don't want to stay here. We don't have much time and it's more than we wanted to spend for lunch.

P- I totally agree but I hate to get up and walk out of here.

G- Well, I don't like the idea of being forced to eat here simply because Made brought us here.

P- I agree.

G- The view is spectacular, but today's lunch is just about eating to stop our stomach's from growling, it's not an experience.

P- I agree that I want to leave too, but I just feel weird about it.

G- Ok, get up. We're going.

I explained to the waiter that his restaurant was lovely and the view was beautiful, but that we wanted something very quick. He tried to tell me they could be quick, but we said thank you and headed out the door. Made was surprised to see us back so soon. He shrugged his shoulders at the hostess and off we went. I don't care what arrangement he has with that restaurant to bring people there, it wasn't what we wanted that day. We had Made drop us off at the market in the middle of town and we walked to Dewa Warang, the restaurant where we ate the ginger cashew chicken when we stayed in Ubud. Unfortunately, it started to storm while we ate but we could not sit and wait for it to end. We put on our ponchos and headed out into the storm. We were scheduled to meet Made at 3:00 pm and it was 2:30 pm, but we still had to walk into the rice fields to purchase a painting we had previously seen that we now wanted.

P- Damn! There is no way we can walk all the way to Gusti's hut, way in the rice field, and get back here in time to meet Made. Whah! I want that painting.

G- Maybe there is some reason this is not working out. Maybe we're not meant to have that painting.

P- But I want it.

G- Well, so do I. We saw motorcycles on the path the day we walked it; I'll ask one of these guys if he'll drive me in on his motorcycle. It should't take more than 20 minutes total and I'll only be minutes late for Made. You wait here for Made.

P- Ok. You remember the painting I want? The one with the blue sky and the volcano in the background.

G- I remember.

Fortunately, the rain stopped and I found a man, named Agung, who agreed to take me. I jumped on the back of his bike and off we sped. For the record, I am no fan of motorcycles, I was certainly not wrapping myself around Agung like a snake, and was not wearing a helmet. I told Agung that we needed to hurry, but that I wanted to be safe. I tried to hold onto the little handle on the back of the seat, but there were times when I had to grip Agung's waist, like when we went up a hill at about a 45* angle.

I had remembered the path as being wider and mostly paved. Unfortunately, my memory proved incorrect because the paved part of the path was only about 12” wide and, due to the recent rainstorm, the mud on the sides of the path was completely saturated and slippery. We encountered many ruts and patches where we fishtailed. Agung was clearly not enjoying the ride and seemed very nervous. The going was excruciatingly slow and at times, I had to get off the bike so he could walk it through a rut or up a small hill. Several times we met motorcycles going in the opposite direction and we had to pass each other in a space about 2' wide. When that happened, I had no idea what to do with my legs that were sticking out unless I clamped them to Agung's thighs, which I was not doing. Basically, it sucked! I kept looking at my watch and was stressed to see the time ticking away at a rapid pace. I also kept apologizing to Agung because it was taking much longer than I had told him when we agreed on a price, and because the conditions were so bad.

Finally, after 20 minutes, we arrived at Gusti's hut only to find it empty. Agung called to a man working in the rice field behind Gusti's hut and was told he had went home, down the side of the hill. While I took off my poncho and found the painting, Agung disappeared down the side of the hill in search of Gusti. Thankfully, he returned in just a few minutes, Gusti in tow.

G- Hi Gusti. I was here, with my friend, 2 weeks ago and we were interested in one of your paintings. I'm back to buy it.

Gusti – I don't remember.



Agung

 G- (seriously doubting the veracity of this statement) My friend and I were walking the path and you climbed that tree and got us a coconut, cut it open for us to drink the juice, then cut up the meat for us.

Gusti- No. I don't remember.

G- It doens't really matter. I see the painting we want and I'd like to buy it.

Gusti – (Took his time opening the windows, and acted uninterested in making the sale – a VERY unusual way for a Balinese to behave.) What was the price we discussed?

G- You told us it was 100,000 rupiah but that we'd negotiate the price.

Gusti – No, I don't remember.

G- Ok, whatever. I have to hurry, so will you take 60,000 rupiah for the painting?

Gusti – No. I can't sell it. I have people who are coming back to buy it.

G- Yes. You have me, from 2 weeks ago, and now I'm back to buy it.

Gusti – No. I can't sell it.

At this point I am totally pissed off and ready to beat Gusti to a pulp. I got that look on my face (some of you have seen it) with pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows, that says 'you are a dick and a liar'. I raised my eyebrow and shot Agung a look. Agung had been watching and listening, and after I shot him the look, he and Gusti engaged in a terse conversation that I could not understand.

G- Agung, he's not going to sell me that painting is he?

Agung – No. Gusti bad man. (He climbed back onto his bike.)

G- (I gave Gusti another 'go fuck yourself ' look and climbed onto the bike.) Shit!

Agung – Shit!

G- That damn, lying Gusti!

Agung – Damn Gusti! Gusti bad man.

G- Yes, he is a bad man. And after all we went through to get here! Dammit!

Agung – Dammit!

Having Agung repeat every curse like a parrot made me start to laugh. I wondered if he'd just continue to repeat me if I slung every curse in my arsenal. I found it amusing. I tried one last time.

G- Oh well, Agung. I hope the gods are very angry with Gusti and he is punished. Bastard!

Agung – Yes, me too. Bastard!

Agung and I had now bonded. Neither he, nor I, were as nervous traversing the sodden ground on the way back. We chatted about where I was from. When I told him America, he exclaimed, “America! Oh, Barak Obama. He in Indonesia last month. He live here when young.” This is the same reaction we have received from every Indonesian and they are very proud that America's President lived in Indonesia.

By the time Agung and I decended the 45* hill and drove up the street, 45 minutes had passed. I knew Made & Phyl would be relieved to see me, but I had no idea that she had been freaking out for the past 20 minutes. When I negotiated a price with Agung, he had started at 50,000 and I had negotiated him down to 30,000, but after all we had gone through, I paid him the 50,000 and thanked him profusely.

G-Sorry it took me so long

P- Oh my gawd! I am so glad to see you! I was about to have a heart attack!

G- Well, I know it has been longer than we thought, but why are you freaking out?

P- I started thinking that I sent you off on a motorcycle,with a man we don't know, because I wanted some painting. When you didn't come back, I was thinking you could be raped and murdered up in the rice field.

G- That's a bit extreme, don't you think?

P- Maybe so, but my mind was running away with me and I kept thinking about Natalie Holloway,

and that I just sent you off with some strange guy into a rice field for a stupid painting and I may never see you again! Then I asked Made if he thought I should be worried and he told me maybe so. I really started getting panicked after that. I went back to the place where you found the guy with the motorcycle and asked his friend if he had returned.

G- Ok, ok calm down. I'm fine. When you found out he didn't return, why didn't you just think it was taking longer than we thought? The path was horrible from the rain and it was further than we remembered.  And, you saw Agung, he's not very big.  I could take him!! 

P- I was irrational at that point.  Oh, yes.  I know that you think you're big and bad, but your not.  I'm just so glad you're back and safe. Where's the painting?

G- Gusti would not sell it to me!!! (I told her the story.)

Made – Not all Gusti are bad man.

G- Well of course not, Made. But that Gusti was a very bad man. Even Agung thought so and he spoke to him in Balinese.

It was nice to be back on the bus. Made told us that we'd still be on time for the Kacak Dance at the Uluwatu Temple. We sat back for the long ride.