Jesus Has Been Paroled

A new day, 7:00 AM, another attempt at getting 2 mugs of hot water.  While we sat on our porch, waiting patiently, a miracle happened........

G- Phyl, look!!  It's Jesus!

P- What?

G- Over there.  It's Jesus!  And he's wearing a blue sarong and a white, crocheted vest.

P- It's strange that Jesus is on Otres Beach, he's usually found in prison.

G- Maybe he's been paroled.

We later met Jesus, an Italian yoga instructor named Gregorio.  He was very nice and more than a little eccentric.  He'd smile at us and made funny little bird whistling sounds.  Sometime he'd take our hands in his and we'd grin at each other because we couldn't help but sing.................... 'Put your hand in the hand of the man who stills the water'....... We'd crack ourselve up singing this after Jesus had left.

Nicole

Nicole - (a laid back Aussie in the hut next to us)  Hey girls!  How'd you sleep.

P- The usual. Fine between 2:00 am and 6:00 am. 

G- Thank Gawd we just lie on the beach all day.

Nicole - I'm going to order breakfast.  I'll remind them about your water.

G & P - Thanks.  And see if they'll give you a roll of toilet paper.

Nicole - I need a roll too.

Tom & Victoria, a young Australian couple, walked up.

Victoria - We need toilet paper too.

Victoria & Tom

Tom - My stomach was bad last night and I ran out of toilet paper.

G- Of course you did, because our toilet paper supply is rationed like it's war time.

Tom - I had to use the sprayer.

P- Oh no!  We can't use the sprayer in our bathroom.  It's disgusting!!

Tom - It's not so bad.

G- Tom, ours has some kind of florescent orange fungus growing on the section where the water comes out.  No way in hell is that water touching my most delicate area.  I think it could cause a disease worse than any venereal disease currently known to man.

P- Yes, we'd like to avoid an apocalyptic venereal disease.

Tom - I had no choice.



a little dirt on the ice never hurt anyone

 Victoria - We asked for toilet paper last night because we only had a little bit left, but they had no more and told us they were waiting for a delivery today.


Nicole - Ridiculous!

G- Last night I asked Juo for some and she exclaimed, in an exasperated tone, "I just gave you a roll yesterday."


P- It was crazy!  I told her the rolls are so small that there's maybe 100 squares on each roll, and we use a lot of it.

G- I know. Hello!  Most foreigners have the runs almost everyday and we need twice as much as we'd normally use at home.  These rolls are 1/4 of the size of the ones we have at home.



internet cafe in background



P- And we need even more with the stomach virus going around, so get us some tp or we're going to shred our sheets and use that!

Victoria - Well Tom can usually get toilet paper from Lei (Molly) because she has the hots for him.





That's how we knew she understood what we were asking.  She may have pretended not to understand English and only giggled and looked at us with a blank (box of rocks) stare when we asked for something, but let Tom make a request and she would suddenly speak English better than you or I, and could walk on water to fill his request. Vic came out of her hut one morning to find Molly sitting on their porch, asking for Tom, who was still asleep.  She had probably been sitting there since rearranging our porch chairs at 6:30 AM.

Nicole managed to speak to the right person and finally got our water.  The toilet paper delivery motorcycle arrived and we all ran to the desk for our daily ration of tiny toilet paper rolls.  We dressed and assumed our positions on our beach chairs.