Cave Man

P- Did you sleep ok?


G- The bed was comfortable, but it was freezing in this room and since we're now in single beds, I don't have your body heat to keep me warm. We have to do something about that air con.

P- I keep putting the temperature higher.

G- Tonight I'm putting it as high as it goes! Did they leave us another roll of toilet paper out there?

P- No, why would they put toilet paper out here.

G- I don't know, but when they cleaned the room yesterday, we only had ½ a roll. I expected them to leave another one. Ugh!

P- They never give us extra toilet paper. It's like they want you to always be worried about running out so you don't use too much.

G- I know and I'm tired of having my toilet paper rationed!! I'd like to be able to use more than 3 quares to wipe my ass without having to worry about running out.

P- They're trying to make us use the hose.

G- I am not using the hose!!! Give me our roll. It's in the bag with Pinky. Please call housekeeping and get us another roll. We are paying too much for this hotel to have to supply our own toilet paper.

P- I'm telling ya, they think we use too much paper and that we're crazy for not hosing ourselves.

G- That's how I want to wake up in the morning...........”No, no thank you, I stopped drinking coffee, now I just spray cold water on my nether regions!!!” It ain't gonna happen.

We had read about the Batu Cave, and had already planned to visit, but when we visited the beautiful Hindu Temple a few days ago, the keeper of the shoes told us that if we loved that temple, we should definitely go to the Batu cave. Another man standing nearby told us that we could take a train for only 1 ringgit.

Wanting to see what was involved if we went to the train station on foot and by metro, we exited the hotel and went to the left to catch a different metro line. To get to this train station we went up stairs, across the street, down more stairs, up more stairs totalling 68 steps. We imagined this with our packs on our backs and our already aching feet. It was not appealling. After a few stops, we exited at Sentral Station, walked down 2 flights of stairs, across the street, around a large construction lot, past numerous buses that seem hell bent on exfixiating us, and finally, into the station. It was then that we determined that we'd have to try and get a taxi to the station on the day that we took a bus to the airport, as sherping tour shit all this way might just kill us.

We purchased our tickets from a pleasant girl at the counter and sure enough, it was only 1 ringgit (about .33 cents in USD), and headed for the bathroom. The line was long and there were only 4 stalls.

G- Have you been able to determine if there is a western toilet?

P- Yes, but only 1, so we'll just have to wait until it comes open.

G- Look, toilet paper!

P- Where?

G- Over there on that shelf. Grab it so we don't have to use ours.

Phyl went into the stall first.

G- How was it?

P- Ok, there's just so much water on the floor from women spraying themselves. I know it's only water, but it seems nasty to me.

G- I just cannot imagine how they make such a mess and not get their clothes soaked. What the hell is wrong with the toilet seats?

P- It's shoe prints. There's a sign, on the wall, behind the toilet telling them not to stand on it, but some dumb bitch must've climbed up on it and used it like a squat toilet.

G- She's lucky she didn't break the toilet. She must be the one who sprayed the place down with the hose. No matter. Still better than a port-o-john at Jazz Fest.

We found the corridor to our train and walked up to a bank of ticket taking turn stalls. After trying to put our tickets into several different turn stalls, only to have our tickets refused, we walked over to a ticket taker man and waited for him to finish answering another guy's questions. When they had finished talking, we stepped up …............

P- (showing him the ticket) The machines will not accept our tickets.

The ticket taker man, hereafter referred to as 'the douche', rolled his eyes in our direction and looked at us with a stare of disdain.

G- Are the turn stalls broken or is there something wrong with the reader strip on our tickets?

the douche - Said nothing but continued to stare are us with a look that said “I'd rather spit on you than talk to you.”

We stood there looking at him and he stood there staring with narrow eyes and a look of nausea. Finally the silence was broken by the guy he had been talking to, who directed us to the turn stall on the far side of the row, indicating that it would take our tickets. We thanked him, walked to the far side of the row, put our tickets in and went to the escalator. Neither of us spoke, deep in thought, until we reached the platform and sat on a bench.

G- Are you as incensed as I am?

P – Yes. I was wondering if it was just me or if you also have the feeling that the ticket taking asshole would rather see us dead.

G- Oh, I absolutely felt it and with every second that passes I become more outraged. I have never felt that before. That he absolutely loathes us because we're women. We certainly got the message he worked so hard to convey.

P- Yes, that we're not worthy of him wasting his breath on us.

G- I mean, surely we've experienced sexism from time to time, but nothing like this. Remember that dumbass sheriff who called you little lady and talked down to you?

P- I remember that, but he was just an old, dumb cop in a hick town. I told him he could call me Phyllis and he did. It wasn't the same kind of hatred.

G- And over the years working claims, I've had numerous men try to rattle me by talking down to me or making sexist comments, but I've never felt like this before either. Quite frankly, I'd love to tell him a thing or 2 or 30.

P- I just want to punch him in the face.

G- The tininess of that douche's pecker is probably eclipsed only by the size of his tiny brain.

P- Like a raisin.

G- I'd love to tell him “Look you piss ant. It is apparent that you feel an enourmous sense of superiority because we are women, but in case you haven't noticed, you are a ticket taker in a train station. I could run circles around you and only use 1% of my brain. I recognize that you live in a culture, in a country, that tells you you are better than us simply because you have a itsy bitsy weenie, but in my country you'd be lucky if I hired you to carry out my trash!” Then I'd like to hit him so hard that every time, for the remainder of his life, he has a nightmare about the incident, he sees my face.

P- Yikes! But that does sound good. Let me hit him a few times too. I am so pissed, I'd like to tell him “Look, you little prick, on the evolutionary scale of life we are way up here and you are still a Neanderthal. You probably still have a hairy back.”

G- “And by the way, Allah is a woman, and when you die, there will not be 90 virgins awaiting you; instead, you'll be put into a cell with the biggest, ugliest criminal to be his bitch for all eternity!” Ok now, we can't let the little penis ruin our day. We have to shake this off. I hope to gawd he does not have a wife or, even worse, a daughter. I feel sorry for any woman who would have to be exposed to him on a daily basis. A poor girl growing up around him might think that all men were as horrible as him.

P- I'm sure if he has a wife, she's wearing one of those full, black burquas.

G- ARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

P- We've got to calm down. Unclench your teeth before you break a molar.

G- Unbelievable! I'm really starting to hate this city.

P- From now on, we only talk to women.

G- Really, we can't let our anger make us crazy. Most of the people here have been nothing but nice to us.

P- That's true, but it's just a feeling I get here. It's starting to bother me that all of the women are wearing headscarves.

G- I know. Me too. At least most of them don't seem beaten down, but if a little girl grows up in this culture, how can she know anything else. Blech!

The train arrived and we spent half of the hour long ride to the Batu Cave talking each other down from the over the top anger we were feeling. As we neared the cave, we could see the ***tall statue standing in front of the mountain. It was quite an impressive sight.

P- Whah! The internet article said there were a lot of stairs, but I never invisioned them to be this high.

G- It's like our pennance for being fortunate enough to travel the world. We must climb a million steps. Be careful because these steps seem to tilt backwards.

We climbed, and climbed and climbed. All told, 272 steps to reach the top. At least it wasn't 400!

The view from the top was spctacular and we could see the KL skyline off in the distance. Down a flight of steps and we were standing in a large cavern with stalagtites hanging from the ceiling. When first discovered, the cave must have been quite an impressive sight. Now the floor was blacktopped and the few veniettes that lined the walls paled in comparison to the temple we saw in KL. At the far end of the cave we climbed another flight of step and walked around an area open to the sky. Overall, we were disappointed and would only recommend making the trip to the cave if you had extra time. The temple in the city is far superior.

This outing had taken much less time than we had anticipated. It was early afternoon and we were hungry, so we headed back to the area of our hotel and stopped at a Raggae bar, in Chinatown, that advertised the coldest beer in KL. The draft Carlsberg did not disappoint, so we had a couple and ate a yummy pizza. The place was apparently a big backpacker hangout and had a chalkboard of shots prominently placed on the wall near the entrance. With cold beer, good pizza and a clean, western bathroom with toilet paper and soap to wash your hands, we knew we'd be back. We chatted with a few other patrons and relaxed.

It was early evening when we returned to our hotel. We didn't plan to leave again, so we showered and watched TV.