Richard & Bitch

Hoi An, an adorable town of about 100,000 people, was virtually the only city in Vietnam to escape destruction during the war.  The town is a few miles from the beach and sits on a river; 400 years ago it was a major international trading port.  Today, the city has a completely intact old quarter which looked very French and reminded us of the New Orleans' French Quarter. We met a French couple one day at lunch and we asked them if they thought Hoi An looked French. The guy said that he lives in a home in Normandy that looks just like the homes in Hoi An. They could not get over how French it looked.


Many of our hotel's rooms have large windows that open into a very narrow space, I'll call it a courtyard, but it's not really because you cannot walk into it. The hotel was fairly quiet, but sound carried through this narrow space. We were awakened to the following screaming match echoing throughout the narrow space.

Richard – Bitch! Stop asking me questions while I'm trying to figure out where we go next.

Bitch – Richard, stop calling me a bitch.

Richard – Shut up, bitch.

Bitch – Richard, you're an asshole. Stop being so mean to me.

Richard – Fuck you, bitch! All you do is whine while I have to plan everything.

Bitch – I'm not whining, I'm just asking you questions. Just answer my questions.

Richard – Shut up, bitch.

Bitch – Fuck you!

Richard – No fuck you!

US & other guests (simultaneously) – Shut up!!!!!

Finally, Richard & Bitch shut the hell up. We envisioned them to be late teens or early 20's. As we left the hotel, we thought we spotted them.

G- Look at those 2 sitting with their bags between them and the very angry faces. You think that's Richard & Bitch?

P- Maybe so, but they look late 20's or early 30's. I expected them to be younger.

G- Me too. I guess they're just having a meltdown. I wonder how long they've been traveling.

P- I'm happy they seem to be checking out. I don't want a repeat of this morning's fight.

G- Amen to that.

We ate lunch, then walked around the city, checking out our options for tailors and cobblers. Hoi An is known as the place to have clothes and shoes made in a short amount of time. We had planned to have Gina's mom ship our winter clothes to us, but after on line research revealed it would cost $300.00 - $400.00 to have this done, we decided it would be cheaper, and easier, to buy or have a few winter things made. It is unfortunate that Hoi An has become the Mecca for tailors and cobblers because this has created a situation where every other shop is either a tailor or a shoe shop, all offering exactly the same things.

G- I have no idea how any of these stores make any money. There are just too many of them.

P- It's just like Bali, every stores sells one of 3 things. It seems like the store that would do something different would get a lot of business.

G- If we were on a short vacation and could take the clothes back home, maybe we'd like to have something nice made, but we don't even have jobs when we go back home, so we don't need anything.

P- And we never got dressed up for work anyway.

G- Look at the coats that store has on the manikin. Every single tailor shop has the same coats.

P- They're cute.

G- They might be cute, but where would that be in style? In London, 30 years ago? No one really wears anything like that anymore.

P- I love that pea coat or the tweed.

G- I like it too, but it would be a 3rd or 4th coat that you wouldn't wear often. I'm just saying, who orders coats like that? Maybe if one shop would offer different coats, something more current for today's styles, they'd set themselves apart and make more money.

P- You know we have not seen anything like that since we've been in Asia. Everyone just does everything the same.

G- I know. I guess that's just one of the things that sets America apart; businesses try to set themselves apart, not just be the same as everyone else. And, had it never dawned on these shop owners to ask tourists what kinds of things they want to buy?

P- I guess not, because all across Southeast Asia all we have seen is Same Same.

We finally settled on Tan-Tan Tailor because the wife worked the sales and the husband sewed the clothes in the back of the store. In many, probably most, shops, the orders are taken and the measurements are sent to someone outside of the store who actually does the sewing. We wanted the actual tailor to be in house and to take the measurements himself.

Phyllis loved the simple, cotton shirt Laurie had given her in Ubud and wanted to have it duplicated.

She selected 3 bright colored, light cotton fabrics, and left the original shirt with the tailor We discussed having my 1 pair of cargo pants duplicated, but it was going to cost $30.00, would take a few days, and because it was an unusual request, we worried that the fit would not be right. We had planned to have a coat made for Phyl, but for the same reasons, and the fact that they did not have fabrics to make light coats, we also scrapped that idea.

G- I'm really disappointed by this turn of events. I guess I thought we'd be able to have anything we wanted made here, but the reality is that you can have the kinds of things that they are accustomed to making, but not whatever you want.

P- You can have other things made, it just takes much longer and it seems like they try to talk you out of having it done and push you to having a suit or shirt or dress done.

G- I don't want a suit or shirt or dress. I want cargo pants just like the ones I have.

P- Well, you can't have that. You know I hate shopping and that's all we've been doing all afternoon. I'm done shopping! It's beer o'clock. Let's go back to White Sail Cafe.