P- Believe me, I am not complaining, but I hope this 15.5 hour flight is not as horrible in these middle seats as the considerably shorter flight to Athens that almost made us crazy.
G- I was thinking the same thing, but we've flown a lot more international flights since then, so I think it'll be better. Besides, we have much better pillows this time.
The flight took off at 12:45 pm and at 3:30 pm, the flight attendants served “dinner”.
G – Why in the hell are they serving “dinner” at 3:30 pm? If we had known this, we wouldn't have eaten McDonald's. Excuse me, could you tell me the food schedule? We've never flown to Asia before. Is it like flying to Europe.........dinner, then breakfast when we wake up after the pretend nighttime?
Flight attendant – No. You'll have dinner now, then a snack later on.
P- Which one are you choosing? Chicken or pasta?
G- I guess pasta. This is a very bizarre feeding schedule.
P- I know. Why are we eating “dinner” at 3:30 pm?
G- I don't know, but this pasta sucks! It's gonna be a long, hungry flight with just a snack later. The Asia diet has begun!!!
We watched 2 movies in a row, then played rummy, continually drank water because we were already dry as a desert, watched another movie, then hunkered down for “nighttime”. Surprisingly, insteaded of heading west, we headed almost due north, over Canada, and headed west at the curve of the earth, going over Greenland. After about 4 hours of “nighttime”, and darkness, during which we slept for about 2-3 hours, we flew into sunlight.
P- What just happened? Why is it so bright in here?
G- That big, dumb boy just opened his window and fell back asleep.
P- Well that's just great! Excuse me. Excuse me! Please close your window. We're trying to sleep too! How can he sleep with the window open?
G- I don't know. Ask the flight attendant coming down the isle if he'll close it.
The flight attendant could not reach the window over the 3 sleeping people, so he got a hanger and pushed the window closed.
P- Thank you so much! What is wrong with people?
The female flight attendant – He's a young guy and he's sitting on his brains.
P- Ya got that right. Thank you so much.
No sooner did the flight attendants walk away, but the boy awoke, reopened the window and went back to sleep.
P- What the hell?! I'm gonna kill that bastard. Close the window!!
G- Ok, there is nothing that you can do. Here, put on your eye mask. We should have had them on all along.
P- (grumbling and bitching due to lack of sleep) Thank you. That is much better. Stupid people should not be allowed to sit by the windows.
G- That would exclude a lot of people and there wouldn't be enough middle seats. Go back to sleep.
Soon after we were served our “snack” which was a noodle bowl. The bowls arrived first, then the hot water followed.
P- Well this is an interesting snack.
G- It's a Raman noodle snack. Interesting. I never did eat those things. Did you?
P- No. Don't pull the top off. You're only supposed to pull it to here. Did you read the instructions.
G- What?! No. I'm not in the habit of reading the instructions on noodle bowels. How hard is it? Open. Pour on hot water. Eat.
P- Don't eat is yet. You're supposed to wait 4 minutes.
G- You're freakin timing the noodles? For gawd sake! Just eat the damn things. The Asian lady next to me didn't wait 4 minutes.
P- Well that's what the instructions say. I'm waiting, because this shit is going to be nasty enough without eating the noodles crunchy.
P- Shit! All they gave us is chop sticks? How am I supposed to eat this with chop sticks?
G- Gladys. Get a grip. We are flying to ASIA. Practice with the damn chop sticks. Hold the bowl by your mouth and just slurp them in. Watch that guy across from you.
P- Is this part of my Asian diet? I wish I could reach my spork.
G- Slurp up the damn noodles!! The lemon cookies are yummy. The next movie is coming on. Oh, good. Toy Story 3. Connor said it was good. This flight really isn't going by as slowly as I expected.
P- No, it's not that bad. It would be better if that damn boy would close his window.
After the movie we dozed a little longer. With about 2 hours left in the flight, and as we headed south over Russia, we were served “breakfast”. I guess it really wasn't breakfast since it would be 6:00 pm when we landed in Hong Kong. Breakfast consisted of rice and vegetables and those shortbread cookies with the raspberry patch in the middle.
P- Rice for breakfast.
G- Technically it's dinner again. But it may not be the last time you have rice for breakfast. We're headed to ASIA, Gladys.
P- I'm gonna knock you to the moon.
G- Yummy! I've loved these cookies since I was a kid. I think my grandma would give them to me.
P- Really, because I never liked these cookies. I'd eat the shortbread from around the sides and throw away the raspberry middle.
G- (gasps) What? That's the important part. I'd eat my cookie so that I'd get a little raspberry in each bite of shortbread.
P- Why did I know that before you even told me, my little freak.
G- You shouldn't have even been allowed to eat those cookies.
We landed in Hong Kong at 6:00 pm and had only a short wait before we were excited to learn that we were going to get on the plane to Singapore. It left at 8:30 pm. It was Friday night in Hong Kong. It was 6:30 am in Nola. We had lost a whole day.
