I have HIPS!!!!!

Exiting the train station we were beseiged by taxi drivers. We tried to select one with a larger car, but still only managed to get something smaller than the Flintstone mobile. We're not sure what the driver planned to do with our backpacks as he coaxed us to his car, but Gina managed to fit 2 in the hatchback and we held the rest on our laps. Fortunately we weren't going far and traffic was very light at 5:30 AM.


P- Wow! I've never seen the streets so free of cars.

G- Again we're seeing that there are Asian joggers.  They just jog at 5:30 AM and not in the evenings.

Maddie – Where is he taking us?

G- We gave him the address for a hotel in the Old Quarter. Many hotels are in that area so it should be no problem to find a place.

Vera – Do you have a reservation?

P- No. Do you?

Vera – No.

G- I'm sure we'll find a place.

When the taxi stopped, all of the hotels and businesses on the street were still closed up tight, with their steel, garage type doors, pulled down. It was still dark. Phyl knocked on the steel door which was quickly opened by a half asleep young man who advised that the hotel was full. After knocking on several doors, and waking several people, we realized we'd have to search a little harder than expected to find a place.

G- What the hell? If I was trying to sleep, all of these people would be up cooking cabbage & noodles for breakfast and acting like it was noon.

P- Why are they all asleep? Just our luck.

G- I'll stay here with the bags so we don't have to carry them around. You go find us a place to stay.

P- It doesn't seem safe for you to stand on this desserted, dark street.

G- I think it's fine.

Maddie – I'll stay here with Gina.

P- That's a good idea.

10 minutes passed and Maddie was beginning to get a little worried when a man passing on his motorcycle stopped and asked us if we were looking for a hotel. We were both very skeptical, but we looked at his brochure and the TripAdvisor reviews he pulled up on his phone and agreed to check out his hotel if Phyl & Vera hadn't found us a room. He waited with Maddie and me for another 10 minutes and we finally decided that Maddie would get on his bike and drive around to find Phyl & Vera while I waited with the backpacks. Luckily, they returned quickly and we all followed the guy a few blocks to his hotel (New Century Hotel) where we happily agreed to stay for $16.00 a night/breakfast included. He allowed us to check in at 6:30 AM, without additional charge, and fed us breakfast. We ate, showered, and went to sleep.

We awoke at noon, dressed, and headed off for lunch and to do a little shopping. We aren't shoppers, but we needed warm clothes for China, and it was much cooler in Hanoi than the rest of Vietnam. Vera & Maddie were in the lobby, so we set off together in search of food and shopping.

G- What's the address of the mall?

P- It's in the 900 block.

Vera – It should be near because this is 751.

Maddie – The address across the street says 450.

G- How can you have 400s and 700s in the same block?

Maddie – It is not like this in Norway.

P- It's not like this in America, each block is sequential based on 10,100, or 1000.

Maddie – Yes. That is how it's done in Norway too.

G- I wouldn't want to be a delivery person here.

We walked several more blocks until we arrived at a very upscale mall. Maddie tried on pants in a store similar to an Old Navy and I searched for cargo pants.

P- I am never going to find pants to fit me. Look at these pants! These people are sticks.

G- Hell, I'm not going to find pants to fit me. They don't have hips. They're like pencils. I'm going to look in the men's department.

Maddie – I might try these on. They're made of stretch material.

Vera – I think those would be cute on you.

In the men's department, the majority of the pants were in waist size 28 and 29 with very skinny legs. There were no cargo pants to be found. Phyl and I walked out into the mall and found a Jeep store.

G- Look! Cargo pants.

P- Perfect. Just what you wanted. Go get a pair.

G- Damn, they're $40.00. We're supposed to be able to find cheap clothes in Vietnam.

P- Apparently not pants to fit Americans. Get the kind you want because you're only going to have 2 pairs of pants to wear in China and I know you want the cargo pants with all the pockets.

Sales girl – Hello.

G- Hello. Do you have these in a size 34?

Sales girl – These for men.

G- Yes, I know. I have hips, so in Vietnam, I need men's pants. Do you have size 34?

Sales girl – For you size 29.

P- She wishes.

G- (to Phyl) Hey! You watch it. (to salesgirl) No way I'm getting into a 29. Do you have 34?

Salesgirl- Maybe 30.

G- No, 34. (raises eyebrow at Phyllis)

Salesgirl – No 34. Maybe have 32.

G- Ok, let me try the 32. Do you have 33?

Salesgirl – I look. You try 30.

I took the pants and headed to the dressing room.

G- (to Phyl under my breath) Here we go again. How did I manage to reach the age of 43 and not know what size pants I wear?

P- Just stupid, I guess.

G- Good thing I have Asian kids telling me how to eat and what size to wear. Am I going to have to put on these pants and show her that they don't fit on my ass to get her to bring me the size I want?

P- It seems like you will.

I put on the size 30 and showed the girl that they would not button.

G- HIPS!!!

She frowned and walked away. A few minutes later she returned with a size 32.

G- Did you look for a 34?

Salesgirl – Yes. No size 34. Have 33.

G- Please bring me the 33.

I put on the size 32 which fit, but were tighter than I like to wear pants. Again, I showed them to her.

G- Can I please have the size 33?



Gina & Maddie

 P- Asian women built like pencils. (holds up index finger) She needs room for her hips and butt.

Finally, she relented and gave me the size 33 which fit just the way I wanted.

G- (to clerk) See! I'll take these.  (to Phyl) I think her world is rocked.

P- You've freaked her out. She may never be the same.

G- For gawd sake! It's exhausting having to beg for the size I want. In America the salesclerks, if there are any at all, wouldn't give a damn if I bought a size 46 and cinched them up with a rope. Here I've got to incrementally prove the size does not fit me before she'll give me the bigger one.

P- Just laugh about it baby.

G- I am laughing. Just wait until we try to find pants for you.

P- Not going to happen.



Vera & Phyl



We rejoined Maddie & Vera for a little more shopping, then went to see a movie. We were delighted to learn that the theater sold regular popcorn, so Phyl & I each got our own trough and gorged ourselves on our favorite, delicious, salty snack. Near the hotel we stopped for a late dinner and drank cold, draft Halidas until the place closed at midnight.