A Rude Awakening

We were awakened at around 5:50 am by Boots who crowed to welcome the dawn.  Carole had told us that if Boots' crowing disturbed us, we could open the trap door to the pen to let the chickens out and Boots would stop crowing.  After 10 minutes of crowing, we opened the pen and went back to bed.  Just as we were falling back asleep.....................

G- (thinking as I fell asleep) the chickens sound awfully close to the bed..... then my eyes popped open and I looked over to see about 15 chickens scattered all over the yard.  I yelled, "OMG!  Phyllis, get up! The chickens are out!!!"

P- What do you mean they're out?  You let them out.

G- Yes, but they're all under the carport and they could go to the road. I don't think they're supposed to be out in that area!

P- OMG!  What are we gonna do? 

G-  We have to get them!!!  (still half asleep, we jumped up, donned our flip flops and ran down the stairs to coral the chickens)  Go around the left side of the tree and try to get them to run this way! I'll come behind them from the right.  No! Don't run directly at them!  You have to kind've shoo them.

P - WTF?!  I don't know nothin about corralling chickens!!

As Gina shooed about 8 chickens toward the back, Phyllis chased one particularly speedy bitch around a tree.  Each time Phyllis would run to the right of the tree, the hen would run to the left.  This went on for a few minutes before she dashed under a bush.  The hen, not Phyllis.

P- If I ever catch this bitch, I'm gonna ring her neck.

We opened the gate to the yard, which is separately fenced in to keep the deer out of the garden.  We got about 12 chickens into the yard, but the speedy bitch just would not cooperate.

G- Damn!  She is fast.  Let her go.  Try to keep the rest of them in this corner while I go see how they got out.

After running 30-40 yards, Gina determined that there was nothing to keep them in the back of the yard once the pen was opened.

G- Wait a minute.  There is no open gate.  The whole area is open just outside the pen.  Carole did say last night that they are free range chickens. Do you think they are allowed in the area? They could go down to the road and get hit.

P- I don't know, but we cannot lose this woman's chickens or we'll be-blackballed from the Couch Surfing club.

G- Shit!  How much do exotic chickens cost?  I don't think we can afford to replace them and they all have names, so they're like pets.  I think we have to get them out of the yard.

P- I do remember her saying something about them eating her garden, and we just locked them in the yard with the garden!

G- Oh, for God sake!  We gotta get them out of the yard.  Open the gate as wide as you can and I'll try to shoo them back out.

Again we chased these hens in circles until we got them out of the yard and back into the area they were in before the fiasco started.  There is always that one chicken that runs in the opposite direction!!!! 

Hens - What is wrong with these city bitches?!  First they chase us in here, now they're chasing us back out.  Just leave us alone and let us eat our breakfast!!!

After all of the hens were removed from the yard, we were laughing hysterically and exhausted.  It was 6:30 am and we had been chasing chickens around the yard in our pajamas.  We did get back into bed and managed to fall back asleep, to the sound of hens finally, and happily, eating their breakfast.  Luna, the dog, had watched all the goings on from the porch, barely lifting her head.