Curses! Foiled Again.

We slept late and lounged in the king size bed under the fluffy, white, European comforter. The comforter may be our favorite thing about traveling in Europe. We took advantage of the hot water kettle in our room and drank several cups of coffee. I took another shower and moaned inside it's glass enclosed walls with the rain shower head, thrilled to leave the toilet paper inside the room with me.

We then headed out to see Bangkok. On the way through the lobby we decided we should just eat lunch and enjoyed fried rice, green beans & chicken. Then we walked to the skytrain and were delighted to learn that we only had to go one stop to get to the Central Pier, on the Kao Praya River. The skytrain stop was literally 50 yards from the river taxi stop. Hundreds of tourists milled about trying to decide on the appropriate ticket. A 1 day, unlimited, hop on and off pass was 150 Baht ($5.00). We were going directly to the Royal Palace, so we decided we didn't need such a pass and purchased a one way ticket for 50 Baht/each. After the taxi pulled away from the dock, I watched an attendant circulating and checking tickets and selling tickets.

G- I'll be damned!

P- What?

G- That person just bought a ticket from the attendant for 14 Baht! We were screwed.

P- But it won't happen again, will it, my baby?

G- No it won't!

From that point on, we just jumped on the taxi and paid the attendant the 28 Bahts for the 2 of us to ride. As we road up the Kao Praya River, we fell in love with Bangkok.

P- This is fantastic! I love this so much.

G- Me too. Doesn't it remind you of Venice?

P- Yes.

G- I mean, obviously it doesn't have the charm of Venice or the beautiful Moorish buildings, but the feel of taking a water taxi and watching the city unfold before you makes me think of Venice.

P- I agree. That's exactly what I was thinking. I read in the book that Bangkok was called the Venice of the East. Now I see why.

We exited at the Tha Chang pier and walked through an alley, to the street. Not knowing which way to go, we spotted a European couple and followed them past stalls of street vendors selling anything you can imagine, and some things you can't imagine, such as dentures. After 2 blocks, we arrived at the Grand Palace. Half way to the main gate we were stopped by a very official looking man wearing a dress shirt with patches on each shoulder containing the Grand Palace logo. He carried a clip board and a laminated paper showing the dress code. He advised us that we were not properly dressed for the Grand Palace, but had time to obtain the proper clothes because the Palace was closed, for a ceremony, and would reopen in 2 hours. He asked if we had a map and suggested other nearby Wats that we could visit until the Palace reopened. We discussed the other Wats. If we were interested, he could call us a tuk-tuk. Suddenly, something clicked in my mind...........

G- Wait a minute, this is that scam I read about in the guide book.

P- What scam?

Scammer – No. It true. Palace closed now.

G- No it's not. (I grabbed Phyl's arm and we began to walk away toward the entrance.

P- What the hell was that all about?

G- I read that they try to scam you by telling you the temple is closed and putting you in a friend's tuk-tuk to take you to another Wat or some place that sells shit we don't want.

P- Damn! He was very convincing and looked like an employee of the Palace.

G- No kidding. I was falling for it and I read about the scam.

At the entrance gate we stopped and Phyl was getting our sarongs out of the backpack when another man approached us. He was not as official looking, but he pulled out his laminated card and told us we were not properly dressed and would not be allowed in the temple.

G- We know. We have sarongs.

Scammer – The temple closed now.

P- We know the temple is not closed. Go away.

He began to protest, but Phyl gave him 'the look'. He stopped talking to us and turned his attentions to a young, western couple. I heard him give them the spiel and they began to follow him.

G- Hey! (they turned and looked) Don't listen to him. He's telling you bullshit. The temple is not closed and if you don't have a sarong, I think I read that they'll loan you one or you can rent one.

Scammer – No. It true. (He looked at me like bitch, mind your own business.)

P- It's a scam in the guide book.

Couple – Ok, thank you. They turned and walked into the gates of the temple.

G- We gotta work together to protect each other.




We purchased our Royal Palace tickets, stopped for a squat, and went to the entrance gate. My sarong was tied exactly like Phyl's, but the ticket taking lady found fault with it nonetheless, and would not let me in. She pointed at my sarong, then pointed at the dress code sign. Phyl and I discussed the problem. Apparently my sarong was tied in such a way that when I walked, my thigh could be seen. Well, not my thigh because my shorts hung to my knees, but my sarong was apparently coming open.

I tried to tie it again, but it did not pass inspection. Phyl tried tying it, still not acceptable. I untied it again and offered the corners to the ticket lady for her to tie it in a way she found acceptable. Instead............... she pulled the sides in opposite directions and shoved them, and her hands, into my pants.

G- Uh! Did she just stick her hands in my pants?

P- (laughing) I believe that she did.

G- That is not at all what I was expecting.

P- Me either, but it didn't seem to bother her a bit.

G- At night she moonlights at the womans' prison.

P- Did you enjoy it?

G- No. She wasn't very friendly. Only smiling people should put their hands in my pants.

P- Oh well, let's get moving. We only have 4 ½ hours for the temple area and the palace.

As one would expect, the temple complex at the Royal Palace was magnificent! The upper terrace consisted of 4 monuments: a large gold chedi/stupa, the Mondap (holds sacred Buddhist scriptures), miniature model of Angkor Wat, & the Royal Pantheon (holds statues of past Chakri dynasty rulers). The Wat, inside The Royal Monastery of the Emerald Buddha, was large, with beautiful murals on the walls, and a solid green jade Buddha high on the alter. The Buddha is carved from one block of jade and was found in 1434 (it is not known when it was carved) in Chiang Rai. A wall surrounds the Royal Monastery and the inside is lined by galleries painted with scenes from The Ramakien, dating to King Rama I, in the late 1700's. We then walked through the gates and into the very large courtyard of the Royal Palace, built by King Rama V, in 1903, in a western style. Rama V was the first to travel to Europe.

It was a very hot day so before we walked further, we sat and ate an ice cream and talked to a Thai man who's good friend lives in LA. He had visited California several times. He also collected post cards, mailed from around the world, and asked that we send him one from New Orleans. We have his address and will do so upon our return.

After our feet stopped throbbing, we headed out the Palace gates and along the river toward Wat Pho. Our path lead us through an area, spanning several blocks, where Buddhist amulets were sold. Some were in a pile on a blanket on the ground and others were in plastic cases on tables. As we neared the temple, we purchased chicken skewers (meat & livers) from a cart/grill. (4 skewers for under $1.00) While we stood eating our skewers and watching the goings on, a man approached us and asked the familiar questions: where you from? What your names? Where you go?

P- We're from America. We're going to Wat Pho.

Scammer – Wat Pho closed.

G- No, it's not.

Scammer – Yes.

G- No. (said with a smile)

Scammer – Closed.

P- It's not closed. (we started walking away)

Scammer – You don't believe me?

G- No, we don't believe you. The guide books warn us about you.

Scammer – It true! It closed!

P- (to me) Piss off asswhipe! We know it is not closed.

Scammer - It closed!  It closed!

We arrived at Wat Pho, which did not close for 2.5 hours, paid our entrance fee and went in to see Phra Buddhasaiyas, Thailand's largest reclining Buddha, built during the reign of King Rama III. It is painted gold, and the bottom of the feet contain mother of pearl symbols of nature from Indian & Chinese influences. It is quite an amazing sight.

Inside another wall are 4 huge pagodas that look like colorful wedding cakes, their exteriors decorated with millions of colorful, cut tiles. We walked around the compound admiring the hundreds of Buddha statues lining the walls, then followed the soothing sound of monks chanting to the Phra Buddha Deva Patimakorn (main chapel). We sat inside the temple, for at least 20 minutes, enjoying the spirituality of the chanting, as a golden Buddha observed from his seat on the high alter at the back wall.

Leaving Wat Pho, we walked back to the river, past a highly manicured park, and waited for the water taxi at Tha Tien Pier. We spoke to a young man from Bangladesh who was in Bangkok working for a German shirt making company. We had never heard of it, but the shirts are upwards of $200 and are ordered on line, sewn in Bangkok and shipped to Germany. I asked about this industry in Bangladesh because I know that the country exports a lot of textiles. He advised that Bangkok is the perfect place because not only can the clothes be made cheaply, but shipping can be accomplished quickly, something that is very slow from Bangladesh.

Tired and not interested in searching for a place to eat, we returned to our hotel, enjoyed a pitcher of Chang beer, and ate a dinner of fried egg rolls and green pork curry. We felt like queens luxuriating in our hot, glass shower and snuggled under the wonderful comforter, watching the 1 English channel, until we fell asleep.