You Sit!

This morning was no different from our usual routine, sleep in, then lounge in bed while drinking coffee. I took another shower because I love showering and I appreciate this particular shower. Then we set off on the skytrain to the river. Like pros, we jumped right on the river taxi, purchased our 14 Baht tickets from the attendant, and road the taxi to the last stop on the river. We are water people and anytime we can be sitting by the water, swimming in the water, hearing the sounds of water (waterfall, waves crashing onto shore, babbling brook, fountain, whatever) or riding in a boat on the water, we are happy. As we cruised the river, the sun warmed our faces, the breeze blew our hair, we watched temples slide by, and passengers embark and disembark at the various stops. We could've done it all day, but we had things to see, and we were hungry.

We ate a lunch of baked potatoes and seared tuna salad at a restaurant on the Phra Arthit Pier. Then we walked out to the street and started heading in the direction of the Vimanmek Mansion Museum. We quickly deduced that we had no idea where we were going, so we hailed a tuk-tuk. It was a good thing that we got a tuk-tuk because he set off in the opposite direction than the one in which we were walking. Also, the map seemed to indicate that the Vimanmek Mansion was only blocks away, when in reality, it was miles away.

Our tickets to the Royal Palace also gained us entry to the Vimanmek Mansion, so it was fortunate that they were still in my pocket, and that I wear the same pants for several days in a row. The Mansion is made entirely of teak wood, was built 150 years ago, and was the home of Rama V (the first king to travel to Europe). Today it is a museum and used for official state affairs, especially hosting foreign dignitaries.

No cameras, cell phones or bags are allowed into the Mansion, so we had to pay for a locker and put all of our belongings into it. Tours are given every half hour, so we sat in the holding area, waiting for the English tour, and watching other groups go in. There were many Chinese tour buses and we watched a group as they passed through inspection and the metal detector.

G- I hope that group is well along their way before our tour starts. They are so damn loud!

P- I'm watching how the girls are frisking them after they pass through the metal detectors.

G- It is quite bizarre. Very invasive. Kind've like a Thai massage.

P- That girl just squeeze that man's package!!!!!

G- I think it's his pocket.

P- Unless he has a pocket over his package, it was his package.

G- Busted! She just ferreted out a cell phone. (He was rebuked and sent back to the lockers.)

As the men were being felt up, a commotion started with the women and we watched trying to figure out what was going on. Apparently the necklaces of flowers, worn by many of the women, were not allowed into the mansion. All of the women, except for one, complied with the instructions and placed their flowers on the chair next to the metal detector.

P- WTH?!

G- Oh, she is pissed and doesn't want to give up her flowers.

Suddenly she grabbed the strand in each hand and pulled, yanking them violently from her neck, breaking the strand and sending flower flying in every direction. The groping girls stopped feeling people up and stared as the male guard, once sitting quietly off to the side, jumped up and began yelling at the woman. She stood her ground and glared at him as others from her group hit the floor and began picking up the flowers.

P- That is one defiant woman.

G- She's crazy. I think that guard is going to kick her ass.

P- Good thing her group is picking up the flowers.

G- Oh, now the tour leader is involved.

The woman backed down a bit, the floor was cleaned, and the group left our area and began their tour.

When our tour began we had our thighs grabbed and I was worried that I'd have to open my sarong so that the lady could see that she was only feeling my wallet in my pants' pocket, but she seemed satisfied with the groping and we walked through the yard to the shoe area. Phyl climbed the stairs while I put our shoes in their holding pen.

Ticket taker – Where your ticket?

P- My friend has it. She is putting our shoes away.

Ticket taker – You sit!! (she pointed to a bench just inside the door.)

Phyl did as she was told and sat on the bench. When I reached the top of the stairs she called to me to show the woman our tickets. I pointed to Phyl and to the ticket. The ticket taker pointed to Phyl and said “ok”. Then she told me to sit. We were soon joined by the remainder of our English group, 4 Canadians, 2 French, a couple of Germans. We feel sorry for people who must always hear tours in English, their second language, and some of them struggle to understand some of the more complicated words, delivered in a thick Cambodian accent. We continually feel like morons because, like most Americans, we only speak 1 language.

The mansion was beautiful and we learned a lot about King Rama V's efforts to raise the standard of living in his country. He was known to dress as a commoner and go into the villages and speak to the people. He sounded very progressive. It had only taken a year to build the mansion, but it was highly carved, with grand staircases, and lead glass windows across the entire front. We enjoyed the tour very much. After the tour we walked around the gardens, then at 4:30 when everything was closing, out to the street to determine how we'd get back to the river.

P- Do you know where we are?

G- Sort of, but not really. Get the map.

Taxi driver- (standing next to us) You want taxi?

G- I don't think so.

Driver – Where you go?

P- We need to get back to the river. We want to go to Chinatown.

Driver – I make good rate.

G- Is that your taxi? The one that says on the side that you use a meter?

Driver – Meter,yes.

G- If we use a taxi, we want to use the meter.

Driver- Meter.

P- Where would we get him to take us? Just to the river or to Chinatown?

Driver – Chinatown. Ok. 200 Baht. (almost $7.00) Good price.

G- No negotiating. We want the meter.

Driver – 200 Baht. Good price.

Tired of having the taxi driver jabbering in our ears while we tried to read the map, and sensing that he was not going to take us with the meter, we began walking, in what we thought was the direction of the river. After walking 3 blocks, we could see a bridge in the distance, so we knew we were headed in the right direction. A fruit vendor was on the corner, so we purchased some pineapple. The lady carved out three long chunks from ½ of a pineapple, slid them into a clear plastic bag, and placed the bag lengthwise in her outstretched palm. She then grabbed a clever and hacked at the pineapple, through the plastic bag, cutting it into pieces. We paid her 30 Baht ($1.00) and walked away.

P- Holy crap! Can you believe the clever she used to cut the pineapple?

G- I was startled when she began hacking at it with such a huge knife. And with such precision! I think each piece is about the same size.

P- And look at this bag, it has not one cut.

G- What? Let me see. How is that possible?

P- I have no idea, but look at it.

G- How did she cut the pineapple clean through the bag but not cut the bag?

P- Maybe she's magic. I have no explanation!

We were excited to reach the river in only 8 blocks, and stood on the Krung Thon bridge observing the floating homes (I use the term loosely) along the river. Basically these were floating shacks made of wood, tin, tarps, basically anything that can be used to keep out the rain. Even in their state of disrepair, many had hanging flower pots or window boxes full of flowers. A little beauty in the blight. We spotted a water taxi stop on the other side of the bridge and walked across, hoping that a taxi would arrive, headed in the direction we required to get to Chinatown. After only a 15 minute wait, a taxi arrived and we were once again, cruising down the river, enjoying the sights and sounds that attracted us to Bangkok, as the sun set behind the numerous Wats that lined the river.

About 20 minutes later we exited at Rachawongse Pier and headed into Chinatown. Not sure where we were going, we wondered down a few streets until we came to an area where vendors lined the street. We walked around this bustling area for a while, taking in the sights and smells. We contemplated eating from street vendors, but we were unable to determine what they were cooking and the ladies spoke little or no English. Besides, we wanted to sit at a restaurant rather than stand on the street to eat dinner.

A few streets later, we came across a “restaurant”. Really, it was a room, behind the street cart, containing 4 tables and little, red, plastic stools. There was a western couple in there waiting for their food. We debated eating there, but we really wanted fried rice and only saw noodles.

G- Rice?

Lady – No rice. Noodles.

P- (to Gina) I really wanted rice.

Lady- Noodles!

G- Ok, thank you.

We walked a few more blocks, and finding no other “restaurant” type place, went back to the noodle lady.

P- (asking the western couple) How did you order?

Couple – We just pointed at the things we wanted in our noodles.

Phyl sat at the table and I went to the cart to order. I tried to point at the items I recognized to indicate that we wanted them in our noodles, but my gyrations were met with a blank stare, and I didn't really recognize many of the items in the bowls, so I gave up and said 2 noodles, holding up 2 fingers. She smiled a little and said “2 noodle, ok”. I returned to the table.

P- What did you get?

G- Noodles. (laughing)

P- I know, Agnes. What did you get in our noodles?

G- We will get what she gives us. I couldn't get her to understand that I wanted to select the items that she was going to put into the noodles, and I couldn't even figure out what most of our choices were. So, she will make it and we will eat it.

P- How much does it cost?

G- I have no idea, but nothing on that menu (all written in Thai or Chinese, we couldn't tell) is over 40 Baht (about $1.10) so it can't cost much.

Another lady came by and asked us something that we assumed to be, what do you want to drink, so we pointed to the cooler and said Coke. 2 bottles of coke were delivered to our table. Our bowls of noodles arrived soon after and we inspected them in an attempt to determine the contents.

G- This is a mushroom.

P- What is the green stuff?

G- Maybe some kind of kale or chard or something like that?

P- What about these white chunks?

G- Is it chicken? (I tasted a piece)

P- No, not chicken.

G- I think it's tofu. And I have some carrot slivers.

P- Whatever. It tastes good.

G- Yep. It's yummy. I guess we're going to eat with the silverware.

P- Do we have our sporks in the backpack?

G- No. I didn't put them in. You know I like to cut my noodles. I guess that won't happen today.

P- Cat would be proud of you, twirling your noodles like a true Italian.

G- Except that these are Chinese noodles and we're in Chinatown in Bangkok.

P- A minor detail; they're still long and stringy like spaghetti.

We enjoyed our noodles and the coke was cold. When we were finished I asked, “How much?”. The lady held up 7 fingers. It was 70 Baht. (maybe $1.08 USD). We walked back up the street and happened upon a grocery where we bought toothpaste, shampoo, cookies, and yogurt. We walked back to the river and waited for the taxi. While we waited we talked to a woman, Daphna, who is living in Israel taking care of her elderly parents. She traveled as a pharmaceutical rep and had lived in San Francisco for 20 years. We talked about how much we loved San Francisco. She exited the taxi at the same pier as us and headed to her hotel while we caught the skytrain to our stop, and walked back to our hotel. We sat in the lobby, drinking a pitcher of Chang beer and reflecting upon the day.