Pigs on Hogs

Another travel day. Blech!!!! The alarm rang at 6:00am so we could shower, drink coffee, potty and finish packing before the bus picked us up at 7:30. As we exited the elevator the lady at the travel desk told us that the bus had arrived. He was parked around the corner and she spoke to him in Thai trying to get him to go get the bus and park out front, but he refused. An Italian couple was also taking the bus, so the 4 of us trudged, carrying our stuff, as the bus driver ran ahead.


P- Son of a bitch! I can't believe he didn't just stop the bus in front of the hotel. You know they just stop wherever they want.

G- I'll bet you a million dollars he's going to drive that bus right past this hotel because this is a one way street.

P- I know. He's just being an asshole!

When we reached the van another passenger was dozing in the first bench seat. The van held about 12 people and, fortunately, had ample room for our bags. We spent the next 45 minutes picking up additional passengers until the van was full. A couple from Helsinki, Finland sat next to us and we waited for the van to leave but the driver was on the telephone. He was soon joined by another man who spoke much more English, and they stuck there heads into the back of the van.

2nd man – Who from Saepai-Pae?

G & P & Italians – We are.

2nd man – You leave camera.

Italians – No.

Us – No.

Driver- (speaks on the phone) Yes. You leave camera.

G- (checking my bag for the 2 Canons) I have both of my cameras.

Driver – (performs some pantomime where he puts his fingers up to his eyes and makes opening and closing circle motions). Black camera.

P- I got everything out of the safe.

G- I checked too and didn't see anything. Ah! What about the Flip? (I dug around in the backpack and sure enough, it was missing) Yes. Yes. It is our camera.

2nd man – Lady from hotel come.

Phyl and I discussed how we could have missed the Flip in that little safe and concluded that the Flip is in a black case and the safe was very dark, so it must have blended in with the back wall. After just a few minutes, the lady from the travel desk came running across the street. I opened the side window and she handed me the Flip camera. I thanked her profusely, grabbed all the Baht I had in my wallet (a 100 Baht bill) and handed it to her. Then I thanked her some more and continued to do so and wave as the van drove away. Apparently the cleaning people had found the camera and brought it down to the desk. It must have been determine that we had left on the bus, so the tour lady jumped on her motorcycle, called the driver and tracked us down. Fortunately, we had driven in circles picking up passengers, so we were about 6 blocks away. We felt very lucky.

The Finish people were quite impressed as well as interested in the tiny size of the video camera, so we told them about the Flip and showed them it's features. In short order we were speeding down the freeway. After about an hour, we exited and began our journey down a 2 lane road where the bus driver honked and passed slower moving tuk-tuks, cars, buses, trucks, ox carts, dogs, cows and motorcycles. Sometimes we occupied the oncoming lane for so long, the oncoming cars would move to their shoulder and we would simply keep driving. I focused on blog writing, but Phyllis watched the road and was totally freaking out.

P- This crazy bastard is driving entirely too fast!

G- Just don't look.

P- We almost hit that cow back there!

G- Stop looking.

P- He's got to be going over 90 mph.

The Finnish man overheard this and confirmed her statement. He was watching the speed and route on his GPS. We all raised our eyebrows at each other. Apparently I had already become accustomed to this kind of crazy driving because it wasn't phasing me. All of the bus drivers go too fast and pass like lunatics. It's just what they do.

P- You're just not freaking out because you're not seeing what I'm seeing.

G- Stop looking!!! Read.

P- I can't read with this lunatic driving us and us bouncing all over the road.

G- Well then I don't know what to tell you. I'm hungry. Let's eat our yogurt.

We were just finishing our yogurt and granola when the driver pulled to the other side of the road for gas. The passengers looked at each other as we tried to determine if we were allowed to get out. The mystery was soon solved when the driver pulled open the side door...........



they were moving fast, but see the pink bundles on back

 Driver- Toilet!

G- Let me get the toilet paper out of the bag.

P- Let's leave our stuff in the van and just take turns going to the bathroom so we can keep an eye on it.

G- Here's the toilet paper. You go first.

P- They're all squat, but they're clean.

G- Fabulous! I have to poo.

P- Oh, sucks to be you.

G- I knew this day would come. Wish me luck.

Later...

P- How'd it go?

G- Really, it wasn't bad at all. Wiping was a little difficult because I felt like I was going to lose my balance one time, but there was a handle on the wall, so I just grabbed it.

P- How'd you flush it?

G- I just kept pouring in water with that big ladle from the bucket until everything went down. Worked like a charm.

P- Well I'm proud of you, baby.

G- I go poo poo in the potty like a big girl!

P- You stupid!

I stood, with the Finnish couple, watching natural gas being pumped into the front of the van. It was something that neither of us had seen before. Who knew that Cambodia was more advanced than America in its use of natural gas for vehicle fuel? We all piled back into the van and the driver resumed his kamikaze flight eastward. At about 12:30 we stopped at a “rest stop” just on the Thailand side of the Thailand/Cambodian border. All of our bags were unloaded and placed in a pile on the ground. We were taken to tables, assigned to a 'tour guide' to complete our Cambodia visa applications and eat some lunch. We had been warned about this by Mike & Hannah and while in the pool at Sinur Bali had been convinced that we would not be caught in this trap. WRONG!



roadside gas station for motorcycles

 Tour guide – Let me check your application. You have the 2 photos?

G- Yes, here are 2 photos of each of us.

Tour guide – Everything is good. The cost is $35.00 each.

G- The 30 day Cambodian visas are $25.00.

Tour guide – No, to get it in one day, it is $35.00.

G- I am absolutely positive that I can pay $25.00 at the border and get a 30 day visa within an hour or so.

Tour guide- No, $35.00 for same day.

G- (looking at Phyl) That is total crap! I looked it up and Mike & Hannah told us it is $25.00 for a 30 day visa.

P- I know.

Tour guide- It is $35.00.

G- Are you telling me that the visa cost is $25.00 but I am paying an extra $10.00 for you to handle it for me?

Tour guide – No. Same day for visa is $35.00.

G- I'm not paying $35.00. We will get our visas at the border.

Tour guide – Ok. You get your visa. (He walked off to collect others' money.)

P- The only thing that I'm worried about is that no one else is getting their own visa and if it takes longer for us to get ours at the border, what prevents him from leaving us?

G- Well we've paid to be taken to Siem Reap, so he can't just leave us.

P- What's to stop him? Then we're screwed at the border with no way to get to Siem Reap.

G- Ugh!!!!!!!!!! This is infuriating!!

I could beat this dog for days, but the bottom line is that he was never going to admit that we were paying an extra $10.00 each for him to run across the border and get our visas and I was completely pissed off that I was being lied to and that he would not admit that the damn visa only cost $25.00 but he was charging me $35.00. We were basically at a stalemate when Phyl and I began to worry because we had paid to be ferried all the way to Siem Reap and if we did not go along with all the other sheep who were simply handing over their $35.00 without batting an eye, we could possibly run the risk of getting left at the border. We begrudgingly paid the $35.00 each, but I was in a tightly controlled rage, I was so VERY PISSED OFF about being robbed of an extra $20.00. (Sitting in America $20.00 might sound like very little, but consider that many nights our lodging is less than $15.00 and you get the point.) I was furious, but felt trapped.

Our lying tour guide ran off with our money and our passports while we sat there waiting for his return. After about 30 minutes, he returned and handed out the passports, Cambodian visas glued to a page, our bags were put back into the van and 18 people were crammed into the 12 passenger van for the 10 minute ride to the border. We were repeatedly admonished to secure our valuables and advised that the begging street children would really be trying to steal our wallets. Our items were secure because when we travel by bus or train, we put our backpacks in foldable bags and lock them with a little lock, but this makes them much more difficult to carry than if we were carrying our backpacks.

The thing about traveling in countries with a language barrier is that even when you are being spoken to in your native tongue, you never know the whole story of what to expect. If we had known that we were going to walk 5-6 blocks, we would have taken our packs out of the larger bags. Instead, we left things as they were and struggled mightily as we crossed into Cambodia. I won't elaborate, but we walked about 3 blocks to get out of Thailand, then 3 blocks to get to the visa counter in Cambodia where we stood in line for an hour. We were always bringing up the rear of the group and I must say that the tour guide, whose ass I chewed earlier for ripping us off, very patiently waited for us as we struggled.

As we stood in line at the Cambodian border, we listened to people telling their travel stories and sharing advise on where to go and what to see. Outside, through the open windows, we watched and listened to the traffic between the borders. By traffic, I primarily mean people, pulling large carts laden with every imaginable item: bags of rice, stacks of corn, tires, chickens, and unidentifiable things.

P- What is that sound?

G- I have no idea. It sounds a little like a car with a squeaking belt.

P- It's too loud for tha.......................... OMG!!!!!!!

G- Holy shit!

We stood, our mouths agape as a very large truck, steel enclosing the rear, passed with what seemed like hundreds of large, pink, squealing pigs in it. They were just stacked in there without rhyme or reason and they were clearly displeased. Frozen, time seemed to stand still, and when I regained my senses it was too late to grab for my camera. All of the tourists standing in the long border crossing lines looked at each other in a state of disbelief.

P- Well, the pork will be fresh in Cambodia!

G- LMAO!

Once all of our group was admitted into Cambodia, we boarded another bus to be driven 15 minutes to another facility, inside of Cambodia, where we were dispersed based upon our destinations. Our tour guide had taken us to this point and was directing us to taxis or buses, depending upon the transport for which you had paid. A young Korean couple began arguing with him and clearly felt that they were being scammed. They were Connor's age and looked very frustrated. Of course I could not help but intercede. They told me what they had paid and the transport that was included. Unfortunately, they had only paid to the border and now, stuck at this transit warehouse, had few options. I told them what we had paid for the whole route, but told them they had few options now that they were trapped. I'm not sure if it made them feel better or worse, but at least they had a point of reference and understood why they were being charged more. I find it's the not knowing if you're being scammed that is worse than just understanding why you're being screwed.

We were put into a Toyota Camry with 2 men, also from Finland, for the 2 ½ hour drive to Siem Reap. They were hysterical and the driver spoke very good English, so we had a fun time talking about our travels, our countries, politics, world affairs, and the landscape passing us by. Several times we were passed by motorcycles with big, pink pigs strapped on the back, their legs straight up into the air. The driver assured us that they were alive, but we could not comprehend why they weren't wiggling. The Cambodian country side was very flat, and currently, dry, so there wasn't much to look at except the other vehicles on the highway.

We stopped once for gas and like the van from Bangkok, the Camry took natural gas. The driver told us to wait in the car, but he walked quite a safe distance away. The Finnish guys made jokes about the fact that a kid looking all of 12 years old was inserting the gas and we were sitting there to be fried if the natural gas exploded. The driver returned with a lime, ate it rind and all, and sucked his teeth for the remainder of the journey.

As we arrived in Siem Reap we were shocked to see that several large, casino style hotels lined the main street. We expected it to be a sleepy little town and this area looked more like Reno. We were deposited at our guesthouse and greeted by Bun Kao and his family. Our bags were taken to our room and we were happy to have our travel day concluded and take a shower.