Chinese Wal-Mart

We spent the remainder of the afternoon walking around in the huge mall. We were on a mission to find gloves, warm hats, warm shirts, and a pull over hoodie for Phyllis. We thought we had hit the jackpot when we found a Wal-Mart, but it didn't sell any sweatshirts. We did buy socks and silk long john shirts. The Wal-Mart was basically set up like one in America, but the food section contained primarily seafood which was unrecognizable to us. Whereas we have more boxed items in America, this Wal-Mart contained more items in thick, shrink wrapped bags. There was a huge display of individual candies, purchased by weight, selected and placed in little, pastel, plastic baskets and taken to a separate for register for payment.


G- I was hoping that we could buy something for dinner, like a rotisserie chicken or something.

P- All I see is raw, head on, fish, eels, squids and things that look like organs.

G- Not very appetizing. We also need to buy something for tomorrow's train ride.

P- I saw apples in the produce area.

G- We may just have to buy noodle bowls. Anna said that every train has a hot water dispenser.

P- When you say noodle bowls, do you mean that Raman Noodle shit that starving college students eat?

G- Yes, I think that's basically all they are. There is a whole row of them! It's hard to believe it's so popular because it's so bad for you and so high in sodium.

P- I don't want to eat that.

G- Neither do I Gladys, but I'm not having another day like yesterday when we were trapped with nothing to eat, so pick a noodle bowl you'd be willing to eat if you were hungry. And let's buy 2 apples.

P- I wish we could find some cheese. Whah! I want cheese.

G- We've covered every inch of the food section and there is no cheese. Asians don't eat cheese.

P- I can't find pretzels, but I found a pack of oreos, and a box of granola bars.

G- Good. We won't starve, we'll just overdose on sodium and saturated fat. Let's go upstairs; we need toilet paper, shampoo, toothpaste and I need tampons. Hannah told me I could find OBs at Chinese Wal-Marts.

The walls lining the escalator, a flat treadmill type conveyor allowing us to take our basket with us, held boxes of various small items for sale.

G- Well this is a good marketing idea. You can still shop while you go up the escalator.

P- You know I hate shopping.

G- I wish I could take pictures in here; there are so many things I want pictures of.

P- I wouldn't risk it. There are cameras and clerks everywhere.

G- Not to mention the signs that say picture taking is forbidden. WTF? What's top secret in Wal-Mart?

P- It's bizarre. Who gives a shit if you take pictures in Wal-Mart?

G- I don't know, but it's driving me nuts that I can't take pictures.

P- I'm sure it's killing you Agnes.

G- The McDonald's also had signs forbidding photography. You think it's a Chinese government rule or an American company rule?

P- We can take pictures in American McDonald's and Wal-Marts.

G- I mean a rule that American companies have in China.

P- Really, I don't know and I don't care.

Whereas it is virtually impossible to find a helpful clerk in a New Orleans' Wal-Mart, the Nanning Wal-Mart was crawling with clerks.

G- It's very disconcerting having all of these clerks standing around watching everything we do.

P- I don't like it. Are they here to help or to watch that no one steals anything?

G- I can't tell, but since they're standing there, let's get them to help us. I can't tell if this stuff if body wash or shampoo.

P- This stuff is definitely conditioner because I found this Pantene bottle that says "conditioner" at the bottom.

I held the bottle up to the clerk and then pointed at my hair, what little there was. She looked at my shaved head, maybe back to 3/4 of an inch, and shook her head yes. Then she looked at Phyl's head. Her look said it all, "Why you bitches need shampoo is beyond me! You don't even have hair!". Toothpaste was easy to discern, all we had to do was find the aisle with the tooth brushes. Deductive reasoning.

G- There are 2 full rows of pads, but I cannot find tampons.

P- I've never seen so many pads in my life. It's hard to believe that all Chinese women use pads and not tampons.

G- It's revolting. It's tragic.

P- You think there's some cultural reason why they don't use tampons?

G- I guess they just follow the norm and if everyone you know uses pads, then that's just what you use. I wonder if they'll switch as they become more westernized?

P- Why anyone would use pads instead of tampons is beyond me.

G- Disgusting! Surely there is at least a handful of Chinese women, who shop at this Wal-Mart, who use tampons. Hannah said they were pretty easy to find.

P- I don't see any.

G- I'm going to ask this clerk standing next to me, staring at us. Give her a little excitement in her day.

P- I can't wait to see this pantomime!

I smiled at her and made eye contact.

G- English?

Clerk - No! No!

I pointed to the row of pads and shook my head, and my index finger, no. Then I held up my left hand and made a circle with my thumb and index finger. She watched with wrapped attention. I inserted my right index finger into the circle (like the crude, childish pantomime for sex, but instead of sideways, it was bottom up). She squinted and was clearly trying to figure out what I was trying to say. I started over with the same charade, pointing to the pads and going through the same motions. By the time I stuck my right index finger into the left handed circle, 2 other clerks were watching and she had her "ah ha" moment. She indicated for us to follow her and took us to the next row where she moved a display sign and pointed triumphantly to 4 little boxes of OB tampons.

G- Yes! Thank you. Xie Xie (Sha' sha')

P- Ok, do we need anything else?

G- Besides cheese and a rotisserie chicken?

P- Yes, besides those things.

G- I guess not.  We cannot buy what they don't have.

P- Nothing gets past you, Agnes.

Check out went smoothly but for the apple.

P- Why is it always so difficult to purchase fruits and vegetables?

G- I don't know. If they can stick the little sticker on them that says Fuji or Granny Smith, I don't know why they can't just stick a bar code on them.

P- Do you think she just told that boy, "Price check on aisle 4"?

G- Bwahahaha. Probably so. It's so funny how we're on the other side of the world, unable to speak the language or communicate in any way except gestures and eye signals, but we just had a conversation with the check out girl and the woman behind us.

P- Yes, the check out girl is saying "he's got to go check the price", you shrugged and raised your eyebrows to the woman behind saying "sorry", and she shrugged back "no problem", even though you know she's thinking 'screw me! why do I always get in the line that has to have a price check'?

G- Exactly!  Let's go find a beer.

P- Brilliant!!  It's way past time to have our first Chinese beer.