G- Ok, it's time to leave the warm bar and go buy me a new pair of shoes.
P- And I need a hat, gloves, and a hoodie.
We went back into the drizzle, walked across the mall courtyard and into the building on the other side. Each of these buildings, within the mall complex, was 3 or 4 stories high and full of stores. Neither of us had seen anything like it in the US, and it reminded us, just based on size, of the buildings on Orchard Road in Singapore. We went in shop after shop but could not find a hoodie to fit Phyl.
G- This is not going well.
P- These people are so tiny, how am I ever going to find a hoodie to fit me?
P- True, but sometimes I feel like a freak. Do they really think that XL for twigs is going to fit over my chest?
G- They're mostly staring at us because we're the only white people in Nanning. Don't take it personally. Plus, you can't expect people who have only seen chests like mine to have an concept of yours. It's like expecting a person who has never left south Louisiana to have a concept of the Himalayas.
P- Shut up, ass! Look, a hat and glove shop.
We walked into this little shop, the size of a broom closet, with walls lined with cubes full of hats, gloves & scarves, and smiled at the cute, young girl standing at a small counter in the rear. She smiled back and watched us as one watches the orangutans at play in the Audubon Zoo.
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| ugly hat, more on the monkey later |
G- Quite the selection in here. I like this hat.
P- It's cute, but it doesn't look like it would be very warm. You need something that'll cover your ears.
G- That's true. Look at these leather gloves. They must be for men because they're big enough to fit my long fingers. And they're on sale. Yay! I'm getting these.
P- Is there a pair that would fit me?
G- No, just mittens and I know you don't want mittens.
P- Hell no! I cannot imagine why anyone would use a mitten except to put them on a little baby that keeps trying to scratch its own eyes out or to take a hot pan out of the oven.
G- Duly noted. Not mittens.
P- I love this hat. I love red!
G- Oh no! I am not being seen with you in that hat!! You look like an idiot. What are those things hanging off the sides? They're like long Heidi braids.
P- I really like it and it keeps my ears warm.
G- Are you kidding me? (I started laughing)
P- I'm not kidding. I want this hat. (Starting to giggle)
G- Phyllis! It's bright reddish pink. You look like your head was smashed in some kind of vise and you can be seen for miles. (Really laughing)
P- Stop making me laugh! I'm serious. I'm getting this hat.
G- I'm serious too. You are not getting that hat. What are those braids?
P- I don't know, but when it's really cold, I can tie them together under my neck.
G- You are scaring me. (I began to yodel and we laughed even harder.)
The salesgirl watched this scene unfold; us reduced to tears as we cracked ourselves up. She had a huge grin on her face when I looked over at her, pointed to that ridiculous hat on Phyl's head and shook my head. Even though she had no idea what we were saying, our laughter was contagious, and she let out a little giggle. A few other people stood in the doorway of the shop watching us laugh. I finally realized that Phyl was serious, so I relented and paid for the ugly hat and my gloves.
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| live chicken delivery |
We were tired of walking around the mall and ironically, I could not find a shoe store, so we headed back to the hotel. As luck would have it, there was a department store, full of shoes, on the way back to our hotel so we ducked inside. There were virtually no customers, so when we walked in, the myriad of workers spun their heads around and watched our every move.
G- I could get a complex being stared at all the time.
P- Maybe they've just never seen people so cute.
G- Yes, that must be it. Alternatively, maybe they've never seen 2 white women, with shaved heads.
P- Whatever. I like my reason better.
G- They have a lot of cute boots in here.
I selected 3 pairs of boots from the shelves, sat on the cushion in the middle and waved over the closest salesgirl. Her eyes had not left me since I walked into the store, so it was not difficult to get her attention. I smiled and pointed at the 3 shoes and then pointed to myself. She smiled and called over 2 other salesgirls. Again, I smiled, pointed at the 3 shoes, tapped my chest and pointed at my feet. They seemed hesitant.
The bravest of the bunch began to ask me questions in Chinese. I shrugged and pointed to my foot, wondering if they had a foot sizer like the kind we have in the states. A few more salespeople came over. We were up to 6. They looked at me, I looked at them, but we were helpless. I thumbed through the minimal translation section in my guide book. They spoke amongst themselves for a few minutes, then one girl went away and came back with a little pamphlet that was a Chinese/English dictionary. Now we were in business!
A guy who spoke a tiny bit of English stepped forward and said hello. He pointed to the pamphlet and said, "size"? I pointed to the Chinese word for 7, but then said American size. How in the world would I know the equivalent size in China? I sat back down, pulled off my shoe and tried to put on the largest of the 3 shoes I had selected. It was too small by about 1 size. I took the pamphlet and pointed to the Chinese word next to "bigger".
The exchanges proceeded in this manner, and I was brought 2 additional pair of shoes, but they were all too small. Finally I waved my hand in a grand sweeping manner, at all of the racks and pointed to "bigger". I was getting desperate and was willing to make a selection from whichever shoes would fit me. The final answer was surprising. There were no women's shoes big enough to fit me.
G- Ok then. Apparently an American size 7 is larger than any Chinese woman's foot.
P- That seems difficult to believe.
G- Let's go check out the men's shoes. I can't walk around everyday with wet feet.
I did a pantomime to the guy who spoke a little English that I was going to look at men's shoes. He pointed me to the other side of the store and followed me with the pamphlet. A similar dog and pony charade show ensued in the men's department, but most of the salespeople lost interest. Apparently we were no longer a novelty. The saleslady in the men's department, with the help of the translation pamphlet and the guy, figured out that I wanted the smallest men's shoe in a certain look, and brought me 2 options.
G- I think this pair is the closest to my size. It's only, maybe, a 1/2 size too big, but they feel very comfortable.
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| my shoe box |
P- They look fine. All that matters is that they are comfortable.
I gave the saleslady, and the guy, the thumbs up, thanked them, and we all smiled. The guy left as the saleslady packaged the shoes and wrote up a slip for me to take to the payment counter.
G- Well that was exhausting. I'm starving.
P- I hope you didn't just flip them off or something by giving them the thumbs up.
G- That's right. I forgot. It was just a reflex. I forgot which country you're not allowed to make that sign in.
P- Oh well, since they both smiled, I guess you didn't offend them.
G- I have to remember not to do hand signs. Is it the thumbs up or the ok sign that's bad?
P- I don't remember and right now, I don't care.
We walked across the street from our hotel to what looked like a Chinese fast food establishment. The prior night we had elected not to eat there because we thought we'd get better food at a place that was not the equivalent of Chinese fast food. But now, after the ordeal of buying the shoes, and the prior night's ordeal of getting the food that wasn't even good, we needed easy. We each selected a noodle bowl, the only options, by pointing at the picture on the sign behind the counter (just like at McDonald's).
G- (pointing at the Coke machine I held up 2 fingers) 2 Cokes.
Salesclerk - No Coke.
G- No?
Salesclerk - No. She said something in Chinese and pointed to another "drink" machine.
G- I don't know, maybe the machine is broken. What the hell is in that machine she's pointing at?
P- I don't know. Is that a picture of a kiwi on the front?
G- I'm not sure, but it looks to scary to risk it. I think the soup comes with a little cup of tea. I'll just drink that and my water. You want to try the scary green shit?
P- No. I'll drink water too.
The noodle bowl proved quite tasty and both filled & warmed us up. We watched as the salesclerk told other people they could not have Coke, so the machine must have been broken. Even though this was a fast food type establishment, the noodle bowl was made of metal and nothing, except the napkins, were disposable. Fortunately, we were almost finished when 2 noodle slurpers sat in the chairs next to us and killed our appetites with their revolting noisemaking.
